Hot Take: Miami Needs A Brand Spanking New Cast*
*some can stay....
I love this cast with my whole heart and always will. Alexia, Marysol, Adriana, Lisa, ugh.... my day ones. But I really do think that if RHOM were to come back, there needs to be a brand new cast. Here is my (short) argument broken down by housewife:
Alexia Nepola
Unfortunately, she gave me the ick re Todd moving out in front of Frankie which SUCKS because she was my girl. That was calculated, evil, and staying with a man that does that to your disabled child is.... a choice. Very male-centered and it's honestly only good television for a season or two. After that, it becomes exhausting. I'm at the point where literally nothing would surprise me anymore. So much for little Ms. Strong Woman Take No Sh*t all for her to just end up taking all of Todd's sh*t. Very much do as I say, not as I do. I don't like that. She has lost the plot and her backbone.
Larsa Pippen
Larsa, they can never make me like you. Literally ever. She's a tough watch, primarily because her face doesn't MOVE. GO GIRL. GIVE US NOTHING. Contributes nothing to the show and I will die on that hill.
Julia Lemigova
Speaking of people who contribute absolutely nothing to the franchise! The Haitian Mortician™ line would have never blessed our lives without her, so I'll give her that SINGULAR ounce of credit. Boring. Tomato. Boo.
Adriana de Moura
Of course, she must follow. I personally have never liked her since the early early seasons, but she never bothered me. I just never resonated with her and found her just "eh". No beef with her, but I think there's no story line with her anymore. Pass the torch. Also girl PLEASE pass on the AI and FaceTune Hollywood 5 Smooth Skin Filter on maximum setting I BEG OF YOU.
Lisa Hochstein
Sigh... I have such a soft spot for her. I truly don't believe she deserved any of what she went through with Lenny and I will forever die on the hill that he genuinely deserves prison time. He is so I Hate My Wife core. Lisa did nothing but love him unconditionally and raise their kids with genuine love and adoration. And what she went through to have them???? Lisa I love you forever and ever and ever. She's going through it and the back and forth between Lenny and her and Jody is a result of many endured years of emotional abuse from her marriage IMO. Honestly, and this may very well be super biased and I am not denying it lol. If we let one OG stay, it should be Lisa. The mugshot fiasco alone would have made a phenomenal season, let's be real. But from a caring and loving perspective, I think she needs a break from reality TV to focus and center on herself. Silver lining to Andy sacking this season is that it forces Lisa into a form of healing. All this to say though, how many seasons can you drag on her and Lenny, you know?
Guerdy Abraia
God, I love Guerdy. No notes. Impeccable. I would argue to keep her. But I doubt she would want to come back. I don't blame her.
Kiki Barth
She reminds me of Dr. Nicole in the "girl whatever" kind of way she handles things, and I mean that SO positively. She lets none of these women get to her and she's so real for that. But it doesn't make great Housewife television. Now, you give Kiki her own show and I'm SAT.
Stephanie Shojaee
I was born and raised in Miami with lots of family who are developers. Big time developers. Developers that would see her daily and come right back to my house after work, if you catch me. I'll spare you the details (unless you guys specifically want them, chismosas), but the gag is, she was allegedly, for legal reasons, Masoud's mistress. There is a reason why she is so far removed from many parts of her family. Additionally, she has no friends. Telling.... She also doesn't do anything. Like at all. It's a façade. All of it. Allegedly. New money with bad style and desperate to stay relevant. I'm bored. Yawn.
Marysol Patton
Baby, I can't keep defending you anymore. I CAN'T. I love her to pieces, but she needs rehab. Or another outlet that's HEALTHY. She's made her entire personality this "cockies" thing and I just can't do it anymore. It's old. There's also no storyline with her. I'm so happy she and Steve are doing well and maybe she's better? But I'm 110% convinced that if we bring her back, she's jumping right into the alcoholic trope again. I also thought that her hiring a PI on Nicole was where I started getting icked out with her because that was.....psychotic, for lack of a better word.
I'm excited to hear you guys chime in. This is a safe space to discuss. I love discourse and I think everything is nuanced. I'm okay with being wrong! I CAN change my mind lol.