u/soggy_samich

Hi everyone, I finished Jane Eyre a few days ago and I wanted to talk about it on here.

What did you like/dislike/love/hate about the book?

I really liked the part about her childhood/school. I remember I actually gasped when she gave Mrs Reed a mouthful and was cheering for little Jane, what a legend. I was also so glad that her name got cleared and she found a friend in Helen Burns and the head teacher (I forgot her name).

I also enjoyed the first part of her time at Thornfield and the thoughts and feelings she was having, basically saying " things are ok here but there's got to be more out there, even if I'm a woman" (that's what I got from it anyway and thought that was cool).

Loved how Jane was a strong female character and loved seeing her think things through with her two different relationships and not being a push over most of the time anyway). I find it mind boggling how feminist this book is for the time it was written in and I love it.

Parts of the Thornfield section I found tedious and frustating at times, like when she told Rochester she wanted to be apart from him for a month before the wedding. I was like ugh girl you're in love, just be with him! But that's just me.

Would love to discuss Mr Rochester's first wife. I felt so bad for her! There were a few descriptions of what she did leading up to her being imprisioned on the third floor but I always felt so suspicious when these came up. She wasn't able to speak for herself/tell her side of the story and was literally described as an animal (definitely racist undertones there). Obviously there were completely different attitudes towards "crazy" people back then but I wonder if she was actually insane or Rochester just didn't want to put up with her.

St John gave me the shits with his cold nature and manipulation but I did like this section of the book as there were a few more discoveries going on and Jane fostered beautiful relationships with her girl cousins.

The ending was good too and even I who hates romance thought that it was really cute.

Overall, despite the parts I was frustrated with, I really enjoyed Jane Eyre and I'm glad I picked it up. I loved Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte and had no idea what I was getting myself into. It's so interesting how differently the sisters write. I have Agnes Grey by Anne Bronte that I want to read soon to compare to the two.

Tell me your thoughts!

edit: grammar

Been listening to the new Madonna album 'Confessions II' and each song is supposed to flow on from the next like a continous mix. I started listening on my iPhone first and the beginnging and ending of the songs sounded like they should flow on from each other but instead were disjointed and completely finished before the next track started (except for a couple songs this didn't happen). It honestly sounds like a draft version of the album before they added all the joining parts.

I then switched to my Macbook to listen and the songs played perfectly from one to another like one continuous mix. How it's supposed to be!

Why is this and how can I fix it? It's really annoying and impacts my listening experience when using my phone.

There is only one version of the album so I'm not playing different versions on each device. Both devices are up to date.

I've noticed these differences between these two devices in only a song or two but just let it go because it was one song but now a whole album not playing how it's supposed to?? Please help

EDIT: Fixed the issue! The pre-release tracks were not the continuous mix version so I had to delete them and redownload the whole album again.

I came across this sub a couple days ago and read a couple posts by a guy who didn't consume content for a whole month with his girlfriend (shout out to you, my dude). He said something about finding your "why" which was what I've been missing when it came to letting go of social media, in particular, Instagram.

I came to the conclusion that my why is that I care about myself, my health, and how I use my precious free time. I'm a uni student and work part time so my free time is extremely limited. Do I want to spend my valuable time on a SCREEN watching GARBAGE?? No! I also don't want to be influenced by this garbage anymore. I want to think for myself. What do I like? What do I think is important, worthwhile, inspiring? I kind of already know but I want to be certain without the influence of social media.

Instagram is my main vice. I'm pretty good with everything else and don't really waste time on other social medias for some reason. Ok, maybe a little too much time on Reddit at work but hey it's at work and it helps pass the time because my desk job is boring. I should probably try to reduce that too, I guess.

Instagram has this weird chokehold on me and I HATE it. My fingers literally have muscle memory for opening the folder where the app sat.

For a while I've been conscious about how I feel about social media and how it makes me feel but I haven't quite been able to make the move to deleting Instagram until now. Actively hating something while still participating in it is a strange thing. Reminds me of when I used to vape and hated doing it for a while before I quit.

I stopped posting a while ago because the realisation that no one actually cares when they see your stuff and swipe away a second later dawned on me so hard. Like sure, you could take that the other way and post freely because you know people don't care. But my realisation just made it seem so pointless to do so because I knew posting was me seeking external validation and wanting to be perceived a certain way.

And yeah, I guess this post is still me seeking external validation but whatever. Let me live!

There is so much more I could say about how and why social media is shite but we all kind of know that already. And if you don't then read some of the posts on here, they're great.

The point of this post is that I deleted Instagram because I was finally inspired to do so.

So let's see how this goes. I would like to come back in a month like the guy who inspired me and write about my experience.

I have a few obstacles that I need to tackle, such as, communicating via DMs and keeping the "itch" at bay. It's been 1 day and I will admit the itch has crept in but I let it pass and then I feel awesome for resisting. In terms of communication, I see most of my good friends multiple times a week at the gym so I hope that'll suffice or they can just text my number.

My ONE allowance is I can log in on my laptop if need be to reply to messages every now and again and that's it. Yeah, bit risky I know, but I honestly need to see how this is all going to work because I've never attempted to delete a whole method of communication without people knowing. I will tell my friends who talk to me on there but that's probably it. I don't really want to announce it to everyone because that feels attention-seeking and kind of silly. Also, it's no one's business but I guess now it's your business too.

My screentime yesterday was crazy. I've never seen it so low and to be honest, it wasn't that hard! I just needed to remind myself of my why.

Anyway, if you're in a similar headspace to me right now and hate it here, just do it my friend. Let's quit together. I don't even want to think of the amount of time I've wasted scrolling that doom box.

Tell me your thoughts! I'm excited for this new time in my life! Yay!

Today I discussed with my therapist my recent break up. My girlfriend broke up with me two weeks ago because of my current sexual trauma issues and I have been very much lacking in the intimacy department, so her reason for leaving me is very understandable. We have talked about trying again but obviously things need to change for the relationship to work the second time round. I obviously would like to resolve or manage my trauma so I can have a healthy relationship with my partner and myself. My sexual trauma is the issue I've been talking about with my therapist for the last 8 months or so and I've been with this same therapist for about 2 years now, initially for a different but related issue.

She was quite abrupt with me today and told me some very true but hard pills to swallow. She basically told me that I need to contact my ex girlfriend, get back together with her, and start having sex again because I can't keep letting my trauma rule my life. I said to her "what if I don't want to have sex?" and she just said "you do". I also said at one point "I don't know how to progress" because her telling me to just go and do it was not helpful at all and this whole 8 months I feel she hasn't really gave me any pointers for this issue specifically. I turned to online resources and this book to help me along with therapy. She responded something along the lines of "look into the resources you resonated with". Both of these responses aren't necessarily bad but the whole session felt like she was just telling me to get on with it and do it without any guidance.

I feel like her blatantly telling me that I just need to start having sex was a bit out of line or maybe she just could've worded it differently. There was a lack of empathy from her and it felt like she was scolding me for messing up this relationship.

She is usually a lot more understanding and nuanced. I've always liked her because she challenges me but in a way I feel is safe but productive. Today did not feel like that. I know therapy isn't supposed to be uplifting all the time but I don't know, is this situation ok?