u/sol_doubt

Kiddo is in kindergarten. Not diagnosed, but reminds me of when I was a child. Has strong food aversions (I wasn't even that picky--or maybe I was just scolded that I was forced to eat?) and is also obsessed with trains, particularly the jingles that play during departures. So anyway, I strongly suspect he has ASD as well.

I grew up in a different country and culture from the country where I live now. There is a huge expectation of being able to blend in the group and not stand out. Everyone his age is making friends now. He has one that he always talks about and from outside looking in, reminds me of the extrovert adopting an introvert type of friendship. Everyone else to him is "not a friend" even if he got along with them for a while and played with them.

I had a lot of issues making friends while growing up for obvious reasons (ASD quirks). I also got bullied. Now I desperately don't want my kid to go down the same route, so I'm coaching him on how to be more approachable. I teach him to greet people cheerfully with a loud voice (this is also taught at school). I tell him to always say bye especially to the kids he'd be playing with when I come fetch him. When we find a lost item in school, I try to have him return it to the teacher, but he asks me on what he should say, so I say the exact words. He failed to do it, by the way. He got too shy to speak, so I did it for him. I know how he feels, so I didn't want to put too much stress on him.

I think to myself that teaching him these things are just the basics of learning to live in a society, but a part of me wonders if I'm teaching him how to mask? Masking is essential to make life a little bit easier outside, but I know how much energy it saps.

I might be overthinking it, but as an autistic parent to a suspected autistic child, how did you handle teaching the social aspects of life?

I know children learn from example and honestly, I feel guilty that I can't be the exemplary model for my child, being an awkward mess myself.

I used to be the person who got all the inks and only used converters because I could switch colors on a whim. Fact is, switching up inks was a hassle that I did anyone with money and a special interest would do--buy more pens because you can reserve one pen for one color and you can try out new nibs on the side, too!

So I amassed a sizable collection and a few holy grails along the way, but then life happened. I got a kid and I couldn't just leave my precious pens lying around anymore. I also felt less motivated to journal in general because of my low energy, so my pens just gathered dust.

I tried to start using my pens again a couple of years later and just thinking about having to juggle all my pens and their inks almost killed my motivation--especially since I just finished cleaning around 5 of them of their dried inks.

I decided to do the unthinkable. I picked up a few cartridges and started writing again. I kept it up for a few months before another journaling dry spell...

Fast forward to today, I picked up my Kaweco with a dried out cartridge and decided to use that pen again. I just tossed out the cartridge and put in a new one. I was back to writing again. No need to think about what ink to choose next or wonder what the last ink was so I can refill it (if I couldn't remember, I would have to purge the old ink and that would be an enormous hassle). I felt so free.

So yeah, I think I will keep using cartridges based on my current lifestyle.

Anyone else share a similar experience?