This is my first time attempting a garden. Maybe 8 weeks ago, I planted some spinach seeds in this bed, but nothing happened until maybe a week ago, when I noticed this sprout coming up. The plant behind it is a young tomato plant. Is this possibly a seed I planted, or is it a weed? My backyard aside from the garden beds is pretty much sandy dirt and weeds. Zone 8b
Thanks 🙂
This is going to be long, so if you read it all, I appreciate it! I just feel like I have so much to vent because this situation is weird and I probably sound wildly ungrateful.
I (29f) am a mom of two young children (2m and 5f). I am graduating with my undergraduate degree magna cum laude on Sunday, and earlier in the semester, our professors encouraged us to apply for scholarships offered by our department. I ignored it because I'm graduating and because my veteran benefits pay for my education, so I figured the scholarships would better serve others.
Someone from the department called me last week to tell me I was selected for a scholarship award and invited me and a +1 to the award ceremony dinner. I was surprised because I hadn't applied, and the person on the phone clarified that I was, in fact, a scholarship recipient. They would not tell me over the phone what the award was or how much the scholarship was worth. Nonetheless, it really lifted my spirits! I felt so seen and honored that my professors would think of me to select for an award. My husband and I got a babysitter, and he left work early to attend this award dinner with me. We were both so excited!
We arrive, and the dinner is very nice and intimate. There were maybe 60 people, and all my professors were there. They start to announce awards, the MC talks about the award before announcing the recipient, and then highlights about the student who won. After maybe half the awards in the program are given, the MC starts to describe an award "intended to assist promising history students with dependent children who are resuming their education following a significant interruption."
To my surprise, he calls my name. I have dependent children, but I'm not resuming my education after a significant interruption. What he said about me as I was walking up to the stage did not resonate with me and embarrassed me in the moment, compared to what he said about all the other students. I don't even remember exactly what he said (I was surprised and so nervous), but he mentioned my young children and then made me out to be an outspoken social justice warrior. People laughed and I wanted to crawl under a table. I care a lot about social issues, I'm very plugged in to politics, and I'm a history major, so I'm entrenched in the social issues of the past and present, so of course I'm talking about all of that in class with my peers.
I wish he had mentioned my academics, my senior capstone project, my contributions to class, my military service, my relentless research, my grad school plans, etc., as he did for the students who went before me. The professor who wrote the nomination for me approached me as we were leaving, literally took me by the hand, and apologized that the MC had bungled my award and the little blurb about me. She said she wrote what he was supposed to say, and he didn't mention the list of things she wrote. She said it was like he read one point and vaguely improvised. I have no idea why he might do that, I've never seen or met this man before tonight lol.
School/class is a place where I can go and not be mom. My friends there know I have kids, but we don't talk about them. I LOVE being a history student, and I've put my heart and soul into all of the work I've done to earn this degree. I thought I was going to be recognized for academic merit or for my capstone project, which has received a lot of positive feedback, but no. I'm feeling kinda small that I got an award because I'm in school and have kids, while everyone else was lauded for their academic accomplishments. The MC also mentioned that other male students were veterans, but not me, which as a female vet just makes me want to scream into the void.
I didn't ask for any of this. I didn't even apply for the scholarships like many of the other students there. I'm grateful for the scholarship and to the angel of a professor who nominated me (I love her, she's my favorite)! I'm honored to be considered among the other student parents, but I would have preferred to just avoid this dinner situation altogether and just enjoy my graduation season. The scholarship is used toward tuition first and whatever balance is left is paid for by the VA, so I won't see the money. I'm graduating anyway. Another student would have been better served by this scholarship.
I let myself think that my hard work was paying off and I would be recognized for it. But these worlds of mine are supposed to be separate. This is supposed to be a place where I succeed on academic merit and ability, and where motherhood isn't my whole identity. The MC didn't mention any of that and just mentioned my kids and embarrassed me instead.
I will definitely get over this, probably by tomorrow lol. I definitely had a good cry in the car and that helped. Thanks for reading 🤍
TLDR: I thought my university was going to honor me for academic achievement but they gave me an award for being a student parent and then embarrassed me at the awards dinner instead. It made me feel small and disappointed.