u/sonnybenson

I graduated from my four years paramedic degree in 2024 and started working 7 months ago. I had one year working before landing my job as a paramedic (due to how competitive the field is in Australia) and initially I felt good starting my role but for some reason there was no excitement when I landed a job. Just a feeling of fear of the unknown and what was to come. I did enjoy my first few months working as I had good support from my co-workers and instructors. We are given a month break at 5 months, but when I returned for my 6th month (arguably one of the harder months in our grad year regarding online workload and assessment days) my confidence was in the toilet by the end of the month.

I worked with an instructor that was much tougher on me than I had worked with yet, they had constructive critisicm for every job we attended no matter how good I felt about how I ran the job. I began to notice under their observation I would crumble under pressure. They would jump in often while I was running jobs, and I received lectures after every job. I was so exhuasted by the end of every shift I would cry all the way home, and sometimes for hours after. My pre-shift anxiety was awful, and I would be praying all day we wouldn't receive any jobs. By the end of the month I called in sick, and when I returned my instructor had failed me. I was gutted. They left notes for me to work on such as scene leadership, work on improving my recall of protocols under pressure, and a few other smaller things.

I've now been on two weeks leave (I requested it as I have also had family stressors happening simultaneously), and the thought of returning to work tomorrow is making me sick to my stomach. I am naturally a very anxious person, and was also was recently diagnosed with ADHD (combined). I feel as if I'm not built for this type of role, and have been kidding myself this whole time if I ever thought I could be a paramedic. I am so disappointed in myself, and so angry I didn't study something that gave me more avenues to go down besides being a paramedic. My family warned me the job would be stressful, but I just wanted to help people and was relying on the fact that 90% of our work is low acuity. I feel so delicate, and like I'm not smart enough, nor the type of person that will be able to last in this role.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I've had loads of co-workers sending me their support and letting me know they felt the same in their grad year, however I just feel like I'm the odd one out. I'm so annoyed at myself that I'm already feeling so tired/feel burnt out and I've only been here 7ish months. I've promised myself I would push through to at least try and finish my grad year. I don't know any alternatives I could do if I quit besides returning to study. I kick myself everyday because I almost chose a different degree, but was accepted into the university I wanted for paramedicine so I took it as a sign. I also live in a smaller town, and to return to study what I want (physio, radiology, sonography) it would require me to leave my hometown, friends and family to move cities all over again. The only study prospect here is nursing, and I doubt if I couldn't handle it as a paramedic that I could handle it as a nurse in hospital. I even considered doing a local GP pathway course here. I know it's medicine, but I thought maybe I could handle it in a more controlled environment... Thanks for your help.

I graduated from my four years paramedic degree in 2024 and started working 7 months ago. I had one year working before landing my job as a paramedic (due to how competitive the field is in Australia) and initially I felt good starting my role but for some reason there was no excitement when I landed a job. Just a feeling of fear of the unknown and what was to come. I did enjoy my first few months working as I had good support from my co-workers and instructors. We are given a month break at 5 months, but when I returned for my 6th month (arguably one of the harder months in our grad year regarding online workload and assessment days) my confidence was in the toilet by the end of the month.

I worked with an instructor that was much tougher on me than I had worked with yet, they had constructive critisicm for every job we attended no matter how good I felt about how I ran the job. I began to notice under their observation I would crumble under pressure. They would jump in often while I was running jobs, and I received lectures after every job. I was so exhuasted by the end of every shift I would cry all the way home, and sometimes for hours after. My pre-shift anxiety was awful, and I would be praying all day we wouldn't receive any jobs. By the end of the month I called in sick, and when I returned my instructor had failed me. I was gutted. They left notes for me to work on such as scene leadership, work on improving my recall of protocols under pressure, and a few other smaller things.

I've now been on two weeks leave (I requested it as I have also had family stressors happening simultaneously), and the thought of returning to work tomorrow is making me sick to my stomach. I am naturally a very anxious person, and was also was recently diagnosed with ADHD (combined). I feel as if I'm not built for this type of role, and have been kidding myself this whole time if I ever thought I could be a paramedic. I am so disappointed in myself, and so angry I didn't study something that gave me more avenues to go down besides being a paramedic. My family warned me the job would be stressful, but I just wanted to help people and was relying on the fact that 90% of our work is low acuity. I feel so delicate, and like I'm not smart enough, nor the type of person that will be able to last in this role.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I've had loads of co-workers sending me their support and letting me know they felt the same in their grad year, however I just feel like I'm the odd one out. I'm so annoyed at myself that I'm already feeling so tired/feel burnt out and I've only been here 7ish months. I've promised myself I would push through to at least try and finish my grad year. I don't know any alternatives I could do if I quit besides returning to study. I kick myself everyday because I almost chose a different degree, but was accepted into the university I wanted for paramedicine so I took it as a sign. I also live in a smaller town, and to return to study what I want (physio, radiology, sonography) it would require me to leave my hometown, friends and family to move cities all over again. The only study prospect here is nursing, and I doubt if I couldn't handle it as a paramedic that I could handle it as a nurse in hospital. I even considered doing a local GP pathway course here. I know it's medicine, but I thought maybe I could handle it in a more controlled environment... Thanks for your help.