u/sourcandyeyes

Can't upload a profile picture no matter how small I make it. Any ideas ?

Per ragioni di lavoro dovrò perdere l'ultimo treno verso casa e non mi posso permettere un hostel o altro, l'unica soluzione che vedo è il McDonalds che sta aperto 24/24 fuori dalla stazione. La situazione è un po' scema, lo so.

Long story short I grew up bilingual in Eastern Europe and I was always praised for speaking two languages despite it being completely normal in my home country. During middle school I learned English(by watching English/American TV shows and being too impatient to wait for subtitles/dubbing) and later on moved to Italy, thus adding Italian to my repertoire. I know a bit of Spanish as well but not enough to actually include it in the list when I make my CV or something.

During these last few years I've noticed that I am only confident speaking English while having trouble expressing myself even in my mother tongue, which is honestly depressing. Don't get me wrong I understand the other 3 languages very well but when it comes to speaking I stumble and make long pauses trying to remember certain words and expressions. I think this makes me look quite incompetent and rather silly in front of people, employers for example. I feel like a fraud since I keep getting praised for something that I am actually average/below-average at..

I don't know whether I'm looking for advice or reassurance. I think I know how to improve - consume content in my target languages and incorporate it in my daily life somehow. Can I realistically expect myself to ace all my languages or is it normal to lack in certain areas and still claim proficiency ?

edit: Thank you everyone, your insights gave me some much needed perspective!