u/spatulafucker5

im 25, i was never able to insert anything until i was 19 and was able to use a tampon for the first time. From there i was able to insert a finger even though it hurt, and from there i figured out im able to have sex if i take like 5 or so minutes to stick my fingers in and “loosen” up, and then have the guy slowly ease in. It always hurt like hell and I often had to stop, but to me it was success because i was technically having PIV lol. That’s been my method ever since… until recently!!

I’m currently with a guy I love very much, we have a great relationship and he knows about vaginismus and is soooo sweet and patient. Never pressures me or makes me feel bad. We’ve known each other for about 9 months but have been together for 4 months, I’m very comfortable with him. There are a few other factors to my success, but I’ve realized trusting your partner and being comfortable with them is VERY important. Slow and predictable movements when touching down there helps a lot too.

Anyway, for a while we were mostly sticking to non-PIV activities, with the occassional slowly forcing it in method i mentioned earlier. Well, I learned alcohol helps a LOT. So we started having sex every time we drank. It became easier and easier. After doing that a few times and getting used to that, it became easier in general, alcohol or no alcohol. It still hurts a little bit when inserting, but it takes SOOOOO much less time and hurts so much less. It now takes less than a minute to insert it. The pain isn’t bad at all.

We just had sex and I’m amazed how smooth it went, no alcohol involved. I was on top of him and was able to slide it right in! We went pretty hard too, no pain at all except for slight pain when inserting. I no longer have to insert my fingers first, or flinch in pain during insertion. My doctor said a lot of the pain comes from anticipation, so I guess being able to have sex while drunk a few times and have a smooth experience, really helped me be able to relax and have sex in general. Idk I’m just so happy and wanted to share. There was a time I was convinced I would literally never be able to have sex, and now I’m having a lot of it with my favorite person in the world😁

definitely don’t give up