AITA, for refusing to do chores when I’m the only one in my marriage who leaves the house to work?
My (f43) husband (m46) (B) lost his well paying job over 4 months ago, while I worked (still do) at a fast food chain. I work about 25hrs on average and I physically can’t handle working over 30hrs p/week. I have multiple medical conditions that keep me from being able to lift items heavier than 20lb, I can’t work longer than 7hrs in one day, and take multiple sitting breaks. I really enjoy working outside of my home and I tend to thrive in a customer service job. I am working on getting disability benefits as it is my medical conditions that keep me from working longer hours.
So, B lost his job where he worked an average of 50hrs a week. I have noticed that I am becoming resentful that I don’t think he is working hard enough to get another job (another story for another day). He did have one for about 3 weeks but he lost it and blamed a co-worker. (BTW blaming coworkers or management is a theme for him) He says he doesn’t want to go back into the field he was in before because he wants to be able to take THC (it’s recreational legal in our state but certain jobs still require you to be sober off the clock). I have tried telling him about all the places hiring where it’s okay and/or they just don’t test. As far as I can tell he’s not even filled out any applications in 2 weeks.
With all of this in mind, in the last 2-3 months, I have been ignoring the dishes, vacuuming, and laundry. But if I look at the laundry and it NEEDS to be done, I have been doing it anyway and when he had the 2-3 week job, I stepped back up and took over the chores again. Today, the argument was about our recycling bin. It’s full because no one has taken and emptied it to our community bins at the park. Our bin sits in our single car garage and is a very physical job to empty that bin (i think I have only done this alone about a handful of times in the last 2 years, all the other times, he does it or we do it together). Today I worked 7.5 hrs, we were so busy that I only got to sit 3 times, about 5 minutes at a time (usually I get more sitting than that on a Sunday). I’m so tired and in so much pain, I’m limping. I was sitting for about 45 minutes when he laid in on me about not doing my fair share around the house and how I should take care of the recycling “it’s in the garage, your car’s in the garage. If my car was in the garage, I would take it without needing to be reminded.” “I’m so tired of telling you the same things over and over and over.” (Yes, he does talk to me like i’m a child a lot. I have brought that up multiple times with him) I ignored him, rolled my eyes but still took the recycling because I don’t have the energy to argue and I needed to go to the local corner store anyway.
I just need to know for my sanity, AITA?