u/spiritualdoom

i find it extremely hard to cope with jealousy, i hate that my boyfriend has had multiple exes it makes me angry, but what makes me angry the most is his last ex, it got obsessive i cant help it but stalk her everyday, i cant help it. i even have dreams of her. shes the girlfriend who he has dated for the littlest time, he didnt even have sex with her, but she made him happy. and it makes me upset because im so much more than her. i cant stay chill for one day because then i start thinking of her and i start overthinking my relationship, and i start hating my boyfriend, my boyfriend deserves it tho, he is abusive and used to compare me to her to hurt me, hes horrible but im not able to leave him. idk how to cope w all this, i hate them both and i wish i could ruin them like they ruined me

im wondering if im the only girl occupying my boyfriend's mind, and if hes totally into me