u/springmagnolia

Executive dysfunction gets triggered so badly for me if something even mildly inconveniencing happens.

Like for example, if I plan to have breakfast, have a shower and then read, but let's say something happens like I realise I haven't paid a bill in time so now I owe additional fees (Love ADHD tax!), I'll pay the fees and then because of the stress of that, it disrupts everything and I end up feeling overwhelmed and just sit and do nothing for hours.

It's crazy to me that people (especially neurotypical people) can seemingly just go with the flow and get back to their routine when inconveniences happen.

How do you stick to your plans after they're disrupted?

I just saw apparently bbc are predicting heatwaves to stay pretty consistent right on through up until the end of August. I know forecasts that far into the summer aren’t always accurate, but regardless even if that doesn’t happen, this current heatwave that looks to be going on for at least the next week or so and now hearing people saying apps are showing 38/39 celsius for Tuesday, I’m just fed up lol. Plus the fact these summers are becoming the norm now too. I’m broke but going to try and get a portable unit and pay on finance.

I just don’t know if it’s worth the cost, though. Like I said I’m broke at the moment, so I don’t want to just throw money like that away.

The windows in my flat are so ridiculous and I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to seal it, so if I do get a unit, it’ll have to just have the pump out of the window with the window slightly open.

Does that make the unit basically worthless though? I’ve heard some people say they use them without the seals and they work reasonably well still, but others say it does nothing.

Can I please get some input from people that use portable a/c units, and especially if you use them without a window seal. Also where did you buy from, and how much did you spend? I’m seeing anywhere from £300-500 online but there are so many units I don’t know what’s the difference between them all and which ones are better. Thank you!

It feels like I'm constantly having conversations with people that revolve around me putting up a façade and pretending to care about stuff that society tells us we should care about so I don't get judged poorly.

I pretend that I care about a career. I always hear people say that being ambitious is a virtue and that having no drive to pursue a career and/or money is unattractive and a bad personality trait. So I pretend that I care when in reality I bounce from job to job because I end up quitting after a while or getting fired. I cannot force myself to stay in jobs that I hate for longer than like a year, even if there are prospects that could potentially come after. And I have tried so hard, but I just can't. If I was offered something in a creative field, I would jump at the chance, but I don't have the actual motivation to pursue it myself without knowing if it would even guarantee me a career in that field. So either way, I'm just...not really pursuing anything lol.

This sort of directionless, noncommittal, apathetic way of life is so criticized by most of society but it just feels like that's how I was made and I can't help it. I'm not really totally happy having no career prospects, but I can't seem to find the "get-up-and-go" attitude to do anything about it. I just find escapism through video games and try to enjoy a social life.

Another example is wanting babies/children. I don't find them cute. I try so hard to, but I can't. The only time I think babies are cute is when I look at baby pictures of my family members, so it must be because I already know and love them as adults. But all other babies, even the babies of my friends, I can't find cute and it makes me feel guilty. As a woman, I'm sure lots of people would tell me this is "wrong" of me. So I pretend to find babies cute. I don't feel particularly incentivized to have any of my own, but you never know.

The things that I am overflowing with passion for and actually really care about are more like movies, literature, music, art, etc etc. I also am pretty passionate about human rights and fairness. I love animals. And I do love my family and friends. But yeah, all the stuff about career, money, having children, just basically playing life out the "typical" way that we're taught to, just kind of pisses me off more than anything when I think about conforming to it just because we're "supposed" to. I hate that we're made to feel alien if we don't do it exactly by the made-up rulebook like that. (No hate to anyone who does find fulfilment out of those things, I don't mean to say that you're conforming - I just mean that to me personally it would feel like conforming because I wouldn't be doing it out of sincerity).

I do care about stuff. Just not what most people tell me I should care about. Does anyone relate? And how do you make it work for you? What brings you joy?

I ask here because I could guess this would be quite common especially amongst neurodivergent folk.

Thanks!

Anyone relate?

Once I find a game that I love, I get obsessed with it. I can't do it in moderation, like get on for a couple hours. No matter how much I tell myself "You can play this for x amount of time", once I start playing it's like time doesn't exist and before I know it's 5am and I've been playing for like 5 hours straight lol.

I'm wondering if there are any hacks that you've found to resolve this? Setting alarms once it's been a certain amount of time would maybe help, but the hard thing is convincing myself to stop once I'm deep into the hyperfixation and all I want to do is keep playing.

For context, the games that seem to do this to me the most is anything where you can customize and be creative - like dress up games or decorating games. It's so fun to dress up and create different looks or to decorate homes in games and it's so hard to get out of the loop but I don't want to give up the games entirely because they do bring me joy.

Thank you!