Wife complains she doesn't have orgasms
This is both embarrassing and vulnerable. The last two times my wife and I have tried to have sex she has stopped us and told me that she is not satisfied with our sexual encounters. I tried asking her what would improve it but she does not share anything. The only thing she has shared is that I only pound her and she doesn't get satisfied. This was the first time she has really complained in 20 plus years. She usually has been good to get me off and then she finishes herself with a toy. I have made her orgasm a couple of times but it has not happened in a while. Now I know that women don't always have orgasms but I know I probably could be doing something better. She also does not know how to turn her mind off when we have sex. There is always an aura from her of thinking about my shortcomings and why is she rewarding me if I don't "deserve" it. I am just stuck and looking for any help or maybe just some words of encouragement.
Edit: Thank you all for the responses. It's a bit overwhelming but I am grateful to be able to share and get no real judgment but just thoughts and ideas.
I want to clarify a couple of things. First I do enjoy going down on my wife. I think I do a decent job at that. However she always gets self conscious on me being down there. And then again it just leads to her getting in he way of just letting go and getting into it.
And maybe this next point is more of a couples concern, but when I do try to start dirty talk between us either by text or in talking, she immediately criticizes me for either not following through completely or I say something she doesn't understand and over analyzes everything and the it just stops and again, just stops the enjoyment. She also thinks foreplay is "cheesy". When I say things like she looks nice or things I would do to her, she just says it's all cheesy or that I am trying too hard.
Maybe I am just barking up a bigger tree here than I can overcome. But I am willing to try the suggestions you all offered.