u/starburstfritos

Yeah.

Do -- do y'all remember when science was sexy? Like, do you all remember when like the sexiest thing you could be was like an astronaut or -- like, do you all remember when like (laughing). Do y'all remember when Bill Nye was getting the most pussy in America?

Like even your girl now (pointing to an audience member) like, sir, you're with your girl, Bill Nye show up, you're like "Give that [___] some pussy. He taught be about beakers and -- and geometry. That [___] really helped me out."

Science used to be sexy and then we all got our feeling hurt because we spent all this money to go to the moon only to find out the moon wasn't made out of cheese. Right? Because that -- oh, I'm the only [___] that thought that the moon was made out of cheese? (Pointing at audience member) So, sir, your grandpa didn't come to you and he was like, "The moon is made out of cheese and every night, God take a little nibble out of the moon and that's why it go from waxing to crescent to new moon." Right?

So I was the only [___] that -- if we didn't think the moon was made out of cheese (cat meows) then why we put a flag in it? All right? Why we put a flag in it if we didn't think the moon was made out of cheese?

If we didn't think the moon was made out of cheese, then why we send three white guys up there? Three white guys love cheese. You don't even got to know each other. You just put some cheese together -- (pointing at the panel) yeah, these three white guys, put cheese and y'all [___]s best friends. (Garbled couple of words).

The only people who like cheese more than three white guys is three white women but we wasn't sending them up there. Like, you know what I'm saying? I don't even know if they could drive then. Like, you know what I'm saying? I don't -- I don't know what the laws was. I wasn't born. But I -- we could have sent them up there and we just -- Buzz Aldridge (sic) that [___], he got off the plane and he licked the rock and he was like "eugh." Right?

And now we don't give a fuck about the moon, right? We don't give a fuck about going to space. Like, every year they be like "We going to Mars." Don't nobody give a fuck. We like, "Hey, [___], I ain't never seen red cheese." You know what I'm saying? Like, that shit was -- like, we wanted to go mine the moon, right?

Could you picture if we had found cheese on the moon, [___]? We would have been stealing every planet's moon. Like, [___], we would have took all eight moons on Saturn, [___]. I learned that from Bill Nye.

That's my time. I love y'all.

Total time: 2 minutes, 20 seconds

Recognizable attempts at some kind of a logical joke (in bold): 7

Landed jokes: 0

Offensive slurs: 10

Percentage of the set that was yelled: 50 (estimate)

Comments that didn't make any sense: 1

The comment that maybe doesn't make sense is Bill Nye teaching geometry. I've never seen the show but was he teaching geometry? That's like shapes and whatnot, right? Bill Nye was teaching about triangles? He may have been, I don't know, but I found it to be a surprising comment like Dedrick was just desperate to think of a scientific term.

Now, people, perhaps inevitably, are saying that this is Dedrick's worst set ever. But you see these comments every week. It's hyperbole. This is where scientific analysis shines. It's nowhere near his worst set. This one has JOKES. Plenty of them.

Yeah, they aren't really set ups and punchlines but they're "jokes" in the sense that Dedrick seems to think a joke exists. Just sort of a vaguely amusing concept.

And of course none of this was funny. And it dragged on forever (although, I'm pretty sure it wasn't his longest set). But for Dedrick, this is a step in the right direction. It wasn't just meandering nonsense with nothing even resembling a joke. He had a joke. The moon is made out of cheese and white people like cheese. This joke is repeated about six times but it's still a joke.

Did he steal this joke from some guy on Instagram like he did two weeks ago with that horror movie set? I don't know. But assuming that this is at least marginally original material, it's a step in the right direction.

Just me then.

But I think he said that it's coming out in like two weeks. And that was about a week ago.

How is it even possible to put out a special with that kind of turn around time? This is all from hazy memories but I think he recorded it about three weeks ago. What about the editing and whatever? I want to see high production values befitting the no doubt stellar comedy contained in the special.

Here's an idea. Rip off Japanese comedians. Who would know? Just have somebody translate some famous Japanese comedy set. It would be interesting. Would the comedy survive the translation and the cultural differences? He can frame it as a social experiment. I'm full of ideas.