Depression
Hi, I don’t know if this is the right group, I don’t really know how to start and also English is not my first language so I’m sorry if my explanation sounds a bit off..
I’ve been struggling with depression since I was quite young, I think it started when I was 15 (I’m 25 now). Multiple psychologists confirmed i have depression.
Once I was so done so I tried to, you know, but ‘luckily’ it didn’t work out. I had an immense feeling of guilt after because of my little sister. I never want to leave her alone. I’ll never do that again.
So then I worked hard on myself and everything genuinely felt like it was going the right way, I felt some sort of happiness but always a lack of peace. And I never knew since I was even younger, what I wanted to do or be in life.
I have no purpose except helping my people, I love to make them feel alright and safe.
Now since a few weeks I’ve been feeling really down again, I want to work on it but I have no energy left. I feel anxious as well. There’s no single thing that makes me interested anymore. Just like how I felt back then. I feel like a piece of shit, insecure and I feel like I’m letting everybody including myself down. I really really want to get out of this.
I have to say, my dad, he also has depression, he’s almost in his 70s.
I know it can be genetic, so I’m really scared I’m gonna end up like him.
My question is.. if it really goes away some day? Do I need to give it time? I want to try everything I tried to change the mindset which I have still, I really don’t know why I feel so heavy. I tried to gaslight myself as well, tried mindfulness, I tried working out, I tried reading a book.
If anybody has tips for me? Also if you have great books that changed your life please let me know. Any YouTube videos are also welcome. Literally anything I will try!
Also I thought about maybe traveling, does that help? Or is that more of a distraction..
Thank you for reading this.🫶🏼