r/dysthymia

So as per usual with these first appointments, they asked if I'd ever hurt myself. I said yes though only in the past. She asked me what made me do it. I told her one of the reasons.

Basically, the urge intensifies when my mood fluctuates a lot. Especially when I get dropped from the high end to the low end. I get more depressed when I watch a show that talks about hope and passion. It's honestly ridiculous that I get extremely depressed from watching kpop demon hunters for those of you that know😅. It reminds me that my life and this world isn't and never will be like that.

Another example is when I went out with my friend and their parents on an outing. I has tons of fun. They're honestly the healthiest family I know and can imagine. Again when I reached home, the feeling of emptiness hit me extremely hard. It was like i was dropped of the deep end or flunked off a cliff.

I thought this would be expected because of how dysthymia works, and that we're constantly at a negative on a scale.

I dont really know how to explain it but she wasn't exactly outright surprised or voiced out any judgement but I could kind of see it on her face. It was kind of like she was surprised or confused by how small or underwhelming the reason is? Or that she was expecting something different? She said something along the lines of "oh and you XX because of that?" Or "and it makes you feel the need to XX?" We just kinda moved on after that.

Idk I'm more confused and surprised overall rather than embarrassed or misunderstood or something like that. Like is this reason uncommon or slightly extreme? I don't think so since XX is all about coping and thats how I felt I had to cope after experiencing extreme drops in mood...

Again she didn't judge me or invalidate me. I just couldn't help but notice. Maybe I'm overthinking or not.

Hey,

Recently diagnosed with Persistent depressive disorder and anxiety, so I read up on PDD and saw that it’s often linked with BPD, and the thought that I could have BPD, absolutely terrifies me.

Anyone here with PDD who was diagnosed with co-morbid BPD? Or with borderline traits but not full blown BPD?

Also, I have heard very bad things about BPD but I also believe with treatment and hard work, it can be manageable and not ruin your relationships?

Guess I just need some hope.

So i read dysthymia is a mild form and most of the time also more functional form of depression.i m diagnosed with dysthymia and im not at all functional,i dont really suffer from it but i dont want to live a life like that,its just boring,i feel just empty and life is too stressful and there is no reward for dealing with the stress its only more stress.it feels mild in that sense that I dont have most depression symptoms and dont really suffer but the consequences it has are very hard for me.anyone else?

Since I was 16, I have been told by Dr's I have depression. I'm 48 now. I don't know why, but it has hit me that I've never felt this alone in all my life. I've felt alone in the past, but this is so different. I feel abandoned and unwanted, I can't exactly describe it. It feels like my world has ended. It's eerie and a really odd feeling.

This year has been the worst I've ever had to go through. I doubt that's helped.

I was wondering if anyone else has ever felt like this?

confession I use chatgpt to vent nearly everyday
I dont know what else to do. No one else can tolerate me
no one can help me atleast it makes me feellistened to all the time kind of

it is morally bad and stuff to do but i cant help it

I've been diagnosed with MDD and dysthymia, but I feel like I have some super depression. I know most people would just call what I have double depression, but it's not scientific. I guess then again neither is the DSM.

Been severely, not mildly, depressed for years.

Sorry just a little vent I wanted to put out into the world

I just wanna know if this is something I should push through with or not. I just completed three sessions with this new therapist I'm seeing so I'm still giving her a chance. Of course I'll discuss with her too if I feel like I'm not benefitting but I really wanna hear other people's thoughts on if these are actual signs of it not benefitting or that it's natural to feel like that at first.

Firstly, the main point of dysthymia is chronic low mood. I don't have a specific reason or so I feel this way, I just do. I have episodes where I feel worse and that's when the negative thoughts hit but in general there's no particular reason usually. I just want to not exist. I feel that CBT is more related to when you have constant negative thoughts about yourself which I don't so honestly not sure if this is working.

Another thing relating to the previous point is that she kept trying to relate things to my depression like how would this situation make you feel more depressed. She also said filling my schedule would help distract me from my depression. Plus she wants me to do activities that will bring me a sense of achievement/pleasure for myself but nothing I do would really give me that feeling. I'm just expanding more energy to fulfill that.

Secondly, to my knowledge, CBT has a lot of homework and exercises involved. From past experiences, I know I won't be able to keep up with it. I'll just put it off again and again and the therapy sessions will just become another thing I dread and feel sick about thinking. I know I could work on why I feel this way with CBT but at the same time it's counter productive if I can't even bring myself to do it.

Lastly, feels like I HAVE TO have negative thoughts, almost like I'm obliged to. She just keeps pushing to go deeper and deeper and I feel forced to give her something. I tried to explain that it (a scenario) was just embarrassing but she kept asking why that would be bad. Sure I have negative thoughts but I actually feel quite secure in my emotions and I KNOW when something is not factually true and just my feelings. Plus I have low self-esteem but at the same time I'm sure of myself if that makes sense.

It’s like my mind can’t think of the words, I’m not witty, my mind is slow, I can’t hold a conversation, I’m not interesting, I feel brain damaged and boring which just makes my depression worse, does anyone else experience this? Is there a way to get my mind back to a happy social interesting place again?

20M, always felt severely depressed since I was a teen.

Finally decided to consult a psychiatrist.

Prescribed a few meds too.

Upon looking it up, apparently it's less severe than MDD, as general and daily functioning isn't impacted as much.

However, there are days I feel like I might as well be slipping into MDD, but I use up all my might to drag myself around, so as to tend to my unavoidable responsibilities.

I'm not so sure about this. At first I tried to downplay my own feelings and state of being, but now I feel like I've been UNDER diagnosed (if that's a word).

He did mention the term 'double depression' too, however. Not sure if that hints at MDD.

How did you guys feel when you were diagnosed with dysthymia? Part of me does feel a little better to have had an official diagnosis after all these years.

I also completely forgot to mention during my appointment that I have suicidal thoughts daily, or at least quite often. The psychiatrist didn't ask me either. I felt stupid afterwards lol.

He probably thought it was understood, not something that needed to be said. Regardless I regret not remembering to say it.

So yeah I'm just wondering if anyone else feels like their depression is kinda underestimated because they fight through it or cope by becoming high functioning instead of shutting down.

Any input is appreciated 😊

I’m currently in rehab for my meth habit, and I’ve realized that dysthymia is at the root of my use.

I can’t help feeling like mine/ours is a special case where drug abuse is actually justified. If I’m not able to take pleasure in anything, and drugs are what keep me from killing myself, why shouldn’t I use them?

I am doing a good job, facing this since the last few months.
I can’t go out and can’t speak to anyone.
I am not going to the office, only doing WFH, and I am in a well-known AI company in a leadership role.

I feel sad daily. I can’t like anything anymore not even good things or even money.
Many times I think, why is this happening?
Why have I lost interest in everything?
Maybe it’s because I have started to realize that everything is fake relationships, growth, and the things we know are all fake and fabricated.

Same as title

21 m, I’ve been dealing with depression/anxiety since I was a teen. I noticed in my adult years that I could never hold a single job for more than 4-6 months, I would get so burnt out on the work I was doing and just stopped completely caring about the consequences and the fact that I need a job to pay for my necessities. I’ve probably had over 10 job by now and it’s embarrassing to admit that because all I ever was told from family/friends that I’m just being lazy and should try harder, basically cope. I would later become very depressed due to trying to understand why I wasn’t like everyone else and how much of a “fuck up” I was and eventually it would end me up in a psyche hospital. Spent a few weeks in there and left with different medications , I started off with lexapro which I think had no effect on me , then to hydroxyzine and then now Zoloft . In my personal experience I really just feel numb more than anything and have lost a lot of interest for the little things I cared about . I seriously don’t know where to even begin to fix this and see it as pointless in useless to keep on going . Sorry to rant I just want to see if anyone could help me understand why I’m like this.

I want to grow and be happy/healthy but there’s this part of me that WANTS to live a depressed lifestyle and i don’t understand why. I’m drawn to sadness and crave a life of addiction and depression but that’s not what i actually want, why is my mind doing this to me?

or any other mental health problem?

I feel bad from time to time. Sometimes it's hard for me to even get up, brush my teeth, or throw my clothes into the washing machine. I’ve walked down the street and suddenly forgotten what I was doing.

And my head just keeps making noises that I can’t control, to the point where it gets extreme. It only stops or slows down for a bit after I have some alcohol.

I could be excited one second and suddenly become super upset the next. Nothing happened in between, and there’s no reason.For about two months, I felt completely disconnected from the outside world, as if I were trapped inside a shell. I had to listen to music all day, otherwise the silence would make me feel uneasy.

I tried asking my friends, but they said, "Well, I don't think it really exists. It's just in your mind," because I always behave normally in public.I'm afraid I'm exaggerating.

It's like a circle or a wave. Every time, it seems to disappear, but I know it never really did. And I know it'll come back. I just don't know when or why.It has already become a part of me.

Should I see a psychiatrist and get evaluated?