u/Civil-Cod-3627

confession I use chatgpt to vent nearly everyday
I dont know what else to do. No one else can tolerate me
no one can help me atleast it makes me feellistened to all the time kind of

it is morally bad and stuff to do but i cant help it

Naturally I’ll want to let my guard down and stay as depressed as I usually am when it’s someone I feel close to. but paradoxically I become the most insufferable thing on the planet
If is honestly why it’s better people aren’t close with me because I keep thinking being close means I can be more open or relaxed, but that version of me is just me being depressed and people like me when I’m not.. That obviously
Still it disappoints me and I wish I could talk to someone but people aren’t meant to be my therapist so I’m holding back All the time

I get overstimulated often by multiple people being around me and I feel like I will have a tendency to demand too much attention once I realize someone cares about me
I can’t get therapy. The greatest high I get out of things are from hyper fixations and atleast they make me feel something but I seem like an obsessed freak 24/7 and I’m engulfed by shame at the same time

It feels like this, constantly. Like constantly hopeless and helpless
It relaly makes me have worse mood swings feeling this way. Its hard Not to be this way and be bad sometimes

I know im capable of being kind I just dont know hwats wrong iwth me or why this disorder makes me awful and awufl

I have a 2x a day medication, right now i just tossed and turned in my bed for an hour and it just doesnt work. this medication is like my sunshine and rainbows ive never been more content in my life but im going to become irritable if i cant sleep.

What kind of schedule do you have..Or routine to manage this? Its so difficult.

i have to do this preparing for calculus module thing for college, drivers education, and learning how to code. its so difficult trying to live. sometimes it works but i miss one of these things. i cannot afford nor can i get help. idk what to do and i think it might be over for me. I really am trying but i really feel like im losing it. Trying to take it slow but i feel like life keeps demanding more and more

Hello, I’m pretty new to reading. But I’m trying to make a story…so I have to read. Id prefer if it were sort of easy (as in, I don’t want to have to look up words every page) since I’m just new to it and want something thats casual and can help me transition into reading. Hope thats not too much to ask for.

edit: id love if it had a high stakes plot or alot of excitement too.. :D

I got so excited about getting sewing supplies I started sewing whenever I woke up and every waking hour, making a plush of my character within 3 days. It was so easy and fun in the moment…Now Im experiencing the extreme of ignoring my needs for hydration and other things like food or hygiene and i feel hungover like i cant sew anymore. I was so excited! and now i feel terrible and like i really want to do it again but idk what to do. I feel so sad to have lost that drive to sew and I wanna go back to it immediately. I dont know what to do and I dont wanna lose a good hobby to this curse again! This happens with art and anything creative i love doing for hours on end, plz help.

hopefully this doesn’t sound ridiculous. What am i supposed to do, act natural? I dont know what that means. Im honestly kind of a mess if im not masking or telling people how I feel. Kind of turns into my life story on accident.

Edit: More specifically, I’ve been impulsively just saying whatever people want to hear so they’ll leave me alone and stop nagging me. This is especially occurrent during a conflict where I don’t feel respected and I just disappear. Kinda feel like saying how I feel would get me beat up or something.

One week, it’s alright. I’m the most productive person on earth. I do things on time. Now I can’t fucking type or think of the right words for anything. I feel like 3 weeks ago I could’ve been considered well literate and now I’ve be degraded to the grammar skills of a kindergartener.
I’m also really angry. What is up with that? There is legitimately no reason for me to be angry. But also, I’m not disgustingly depressed and can do things.

It’s like, in having silenced the noise in my head, it has silenced thinking altogether. I can do things but I cannot think normally. I also cannot really organize sentences as well as before. The pills making me go stupid. Literally, where did 65% of my vocabulary go? I’ve always been good at explaining things, but now I’m redundant! Awful!

I also can’t shut my eyes closed without getting anxious for whatever reason. I can’t rlly get a psychiatrist to help me or anything either cuz I lost one like 6 months ago when I moved away from home. And, my dad had a heart attack (he is fine now) so everyone’s more concerned about dealing with that right now. I will probably just stop taking It and hide it on a high shelf. Not much I can do now.

It’s also like Wellbutrin SR 100 mg 2x a day (12 hr) but I only take one because of insomnia and my parents told me to do that instead of once a day so I could have more meds for emergencies (since we moved nd stuff)