some places were really bad but i didn’t have to deal with the outside world while i was in those places. i felt like a prisoner in some of those places but i could just exist without having to worry about work, bills, school, abusive partners, bad home life, etc.
ive never drawn a comic before, but i wanted to try to articulate the experience. sometimes i wish i could blink, and it really would wash away. It's a nice thought though
hmm I feel empty inside, I don't know how to explain it, it's strange, because I have hobbies, friends, boyfriend and I'm walking outside almost every day, but when I stay with myself, I start thinking a lot and analyzing my life (I know it's okey, that's what all people do), maybe my skill in expressing emotions is just not strong enough. tonight I drew a picture of my mental condition, maybe someone will understand something, idk
I'll try to explain what's drawn here. This cat is like something of my soul, he's gray with ginger spots, he looks shy and a little distracted but he's completely calm, as he not with us, his eyes re calm and a little from under the brow (some people told me that i have a Slavic face, so I guess I tried to draw this one). The circle inside this cat is like filling the soul, it's empty, and around it already everything I like to do: volleyball ball, drawing brushes, collection Soda cans and energy drinks, a heart (like love) and all sorts of little things. If you look closely at this empty circle, there are little stars, idk what they mean, but I wanted to draw them, maybe hope? freaking knows. By the way, there's a slightly noticeable aura around the cat. It's blue and as if half transparent, and to notice it, you need to come close. and the lines behind the cat are like a stream of life. It's like he passes through the cat
what u think about my art?
i think i'll draw it more detailed if anyone likes it 🌸
hngngnhff,,,,, canNOT risk getting thrown in the looney bin again💔
Within the mere mention or actual admission of hospitalizations it always triggers the worst panic attack episodes in me.
I pace along my waiting but it doesn’t soothe me as nearly as much I’d prayed it would.
The nurses laugh as they ignore me. Like it’s some fun performance to them. It’s hilarious until I fall.
It’s their game. It’s their game I’m forced to play.
read this quote from a book and decided to draw something because sadly its relatable af
got me woke tf up like a sleeper agent
I'm being torn apart from the inside. I want to hurt someone an animal, a person, anyone just so they feel pain. I hate it. I hate everyone. I hate everything. This is terrible, I hate you all. I hate this, it hurts so much, it hurts so fucking much, I can't take it anymore, it hurts, it's inside me, it's moving, it's pressing, I can't, it hurts so much, it's moving, it's trying to get out. I want to kill myself, it would be easier, I feel so bad, I hate all of this, I want to kill what's inside me, I can't take it anymore
esp being in love w a covert narcissist bruh. endless cycle of i can fix him but i know it's impossible.
It's kinda obvious why hands are suck a big motif in my vent art. I don't really feel like explaining this, but uuuh... Everything kinda sucks
I always wanted a family. I always wanted a child of my own. Adoption is prohibitively expensive. We don’t have the space to foster. But, no matter how hard we tried, I couldn’t get pregnant.
Doctors were unhelpful. I knew something was wrong. Even after I found doctors who listened, nothing worked. I was sick and miserable and growing older.
Then it happened. I got pregnant. But it was rough and traumatic. I didn’t want a c-section, but without it, we’d both be dead.
This is my way of telling the me of two years ago, “it’s not your fault. You couldn’t take your meds, and what you got sick with can literally happen to anyone. That scar is not a sign of failure. You lived. She lived. And you aren’t a bad mother for it.”
The sharp lines are in metallic gold and bruise colors. Kintsugi always struck me as a way to make pain and trauma beautiful and acknowledge that the pain changed something without destroying it. The vine shapes are for life and survival, like the kudzu in the woods out back that reclaims everything. The speckles are both broken capillaries and freckles. Life and pain.
Hope it looks okay.
doodle of my lovely dog holy shit ive been denying how horrible they are to me for so fucking long.... so many people had it worse, i thought i was just being dramatic. theyre abusive. they make me scared just by being near me, and thats not normal. anyway. :] have a good day/night
As far as I remember I was given the roles of a man with the disadvantages of a woman, an unfair scale tipped for me to trip the moment I took my first inhale
Know not if I hate the body I was born into or society or some other detail
And to be a male has sounded more graceful than an ugly female
Love me and hate me it's all the same
The sacrificial lamb will arrive to you in a bleeding veil
I don’t like feeling my skin on my skin
