Toddler hit baby hard on head. I’m regretting everything.
I don’t know if I need support, advice, or just to rant but I’m at the end of my rope.
This evening, my toddler (2y 3m) hit the baby (5m) super hard on the head multiple times with a hard sharp edge plastic toy. She was in her bouncer, my toddler was playing, and I don’t know what happen but he decided to band this thing on her head like a drum. She screamed so hard. I was in the bathroom, other adults were supposed to be watching them and they weren’t.
I was sick with guilt for hours. She is fine, I did a video call with the dr and she just has some superficial bruising/marks. No swelling from what we can tell. She nursed and was happy and smiling after she calmed down.
My toddler still seems to hate the baby. He’s not warmed up to her still despite me trying to involve him and give him lots of 1-1 time. He doesn’t show a blink of emotion when she’s crying or upset, he pushes me away from her all the time. I still can’t put them down for a nap/bedtime solo because he wont let me hold her in bed (he still sleeps in our bed) without hitting, grabbing, or crying that I’m holding her.
People keep saying it gets easier but when? We are moving in a few weeks and won’t have grandparents support anymore and I’m terrified. Right now all I feel is terrible that I brought my daughter into this and she just keeps getting hurt or ignored (she doesn’t get half the attention my son did) and I feel terrible I tried to give my son a sibling but he seems to hate her.