Hello!
This is my first post on Reddit, so if I’m posting in the wrong place, please let me know.
About me:
I’m very new to Buddhism in general and have been practicing by myself for about a year. I live in one of the more remote parts of Japan, and although I’m not fluent in Japanese yet (I’m working on it!), I’ve become very interested in rediscovering the simplicity of things through Buddhism... especially Zen.
I moved here to teach english.
I had some difficult experiences after moving here that caused me a great deal of stress, and those experiences were a catalyst for exploring Buddhism more seriously.
My routine:
I try to meditate for about 15 minutes each day.
Even though my Japanese is still poor, I visit a temple every week and walk around the grounds.
I also listen to the Zen Studies Podcast.
What I would like advice with:
I care deeply about other people, but my mind constantly notices what others are doing “wrong,” and I become emotionally affected by the suffering I perceive in them.
one example, I live near another English teacher, and I’ve made an effort to be their friend and support them. They complain very frequently about nearly everything: their health, relationships, work, life in general... according to them, everything is bad.
At first, I tried to help by offering advice:
“Maybe you could see a doctor for that.”
“Have you considered therapy?”
“Would you like to meditate with me?”
But over time, I started to become angry. I wanted them to be try and improve themselves, be less negative, less unhappy.
I realized I am not practicing emptiness. I am seeing them as some separate being disconnected from everything else, instead of simply seeing their suchness.
I know there is an easier way.... but I struggle.
I have started to refrain from commenting on any of their behaviors.
I want to act like a buddha and simply "let them be".
But I still feel this huge emotional reaction inside myself.
Why do I care about another persons suffering? Especially when they dont want to change?
How do I let go of the attachment?
Is it better to simply end the relationships and accept that I’m not strong enough right now to maintain it peacefully?
I have this experience with numerous people and family members.
I want to just enjoy everyone around me.
Why cant I just be content with them?
Any advice would be appreciated.