r/zenbuddhism

I also have social anxiety and it's difficult in sangha. They're nice but I just don't feel comfortable. I know zen includes discomfort but this is going on so long.

We are halfway into 2026 and I figured I'd post something like an AMA once again. Maybe AMA is specific to one zen sub, but maybe in other subs a different name might be warranted: "statement of current understanding and request for guidance". How are you all doing? I think last time I finally came to the conclusion that maybe "Perennialism" in some sense is not compatible with Zen, despite the saying "the ten thousand things teach the buddha dharma". A fellow said "I don't think things through / thoroughly", maybe there is something to that, but maybe that is also quite different from being dishonest. Maybe the idea of something like this is to help me think things through a bit better.

Let's see about some basic questions:

1. Where have I come from? (Life Timeline / autobiography / profile)
2. What is my text?
3. What are my current dissatisfactions and priorities in life: life wheel
4. How to deal with dharma low tides?
5. Am I a difficult person, what sorts of challenges have I faced? (My hate / aversions, my loves / attachments)
6. What is Zen?
7. Who is a Zen Master?
8. What is Buddhism?
9. What, if any, is the difference between Zen and Buddhism?
10. What do Buddhists believe?
11. What role, if any, does religious faith play in Zen and/or Buddhism?
12. Who, if anybody, can teach Zen?

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1. Maybe not everything in my biography is relevant to zen or zen subreddits. 🙏🏽 I mod a couple of zen adjacent subreddits. I've been keeping up the tradition of the "Friday night (zen) poetry slam" that originated here, although maybe it's quite different when in a different context. I'm nearly finishing reading Swampland Flowers, and I hope to reread it with a book club soon. I've used it to inspire some poetry, some memes, some AI prompts.

I think in my last AMA I spoke a bit about myself and my experiences in a Soto Zen place. It was fine I guess. Recently I visited a two Tibetan buddhist places, one of them a New Kadampa one, which I was then told is a cult. I've recently gone to a Catholic Mass too.

2. I'm not sure what I'd consider my central text in my cosmovision. I like quite a bit The Tao Te Ching - a Taoist text. I think I've read it quite a few times. There's a phrase I've liked "The great way is open, but people love the twisted mountain paths", something like that. Maybe I too like the "twisted mountain paths".

I think I spoke elsewhere about a joke that I've loved. "Does a cow have Buddha nature? Moo / Mu". I wonder if maybe in China if Wu was maybe the sound of a dog barking. It sounds reasonable close to "woof" in my head at least, to "Au, Au"... Maybe I could say that this joke I commented is my text. A derivation from a koan, something in relation to a koan. I guess I've found the idea in Gateless Gate that it should be a red hot ball in the throat and that we should focus our utmost on the "mu" / "wu" to be quite strange. But it seems, in the joke-form, to fit the understanding of "when you drink water you automatically know if it's cold or warm". The omnipresence of it, the immediacy of it, the transparentness of it.

3. I am in therapy. It's quite interesting to do therapy. Not sure all people do the same kind of therapy, of those that do. Seems to me some CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) type therapies aren't very open to subjectivity perhaps. Maybe the type I do, Lacanian, is a bit too subjective, too free.

I guess I wish I had more friends. I wish I was loved and was more able to love. Maybe I already am loved quite a bit and I don't notice it too much? Maybe I wish I had some type of success, more responsibilities.

4. I've read often in past AMA's that this question doesn't make sense. It has very weird wording. But maybe it talks about something relevant: redditors are often depressed or antisocial or dealing with a drug habit or gambling addiction or whatever. Maybe being down has a bit to do with all of that, a bit to do with a taboo: you're supposed to be happy. Sadness is forbidden, or almost. I remember some woman telling me "I don't allow myself to feel sad because then I'd break down"...

But I think sometimes people play certain games, or at least that's a way to say it. Being in love for example: it can give you a big high, idealization, a crush. Following your dreams. Doing theater. Singing in karaoke. Being in the spotlight for a while, even if the audience is of a single person, or an empty stadium or room. I'm not entirely sure the highs are worth the lows, I guess, is sort of what I'm saying. Maybe there's something to holding back, at least a tiny bit. Instead of seeking drama and recognizing it as worthwhile, to see small gestures, details, even something like "absences" / "empty" things. I think a breath is something like that, right? Sleeping or meditating. Taking a break to drink some tea. Maybe slightly bigger things: reading a book, cooking for yourself, listening to some music, waiting for a bus to come or to get somewhere.

5. I guess I was a bit of a difficult person in some ways. I was pessimistic, cynical, anti-everything. I guess the tone was vaguely leftist but I guess not in a responsible way, not in a productive way. Maybe not everything needs to be productive too 🙏🏽

I love coffee. I've been avoiding cooking a fair bit. I've been avoiding learning how to stitch. I've been avoiding some online courses. I've been avoiding a bit of writing. I love colored pens. I love candles. I love reading. (If the way avoids love and hate, what does that mean for me?)

6. Zen is a tradition, called Chan originally in China, and as far as I know Dhayana in India. Part of what we know as Chan has to do with the transplantation to a different culture. Mendicancy, asking for alms, maybe wasn't a very Chinese thing, as far as I understand it. The Buddhist ideal of an "order of beggars" then wouldn't have worked too well, without some further work.

The way I understand it, Zen has to do with this idea of finding "God" / something universal, "dharma" / the buddha dharma: a sort of global truth. Finding it, partly or in full, is called "enlightenment". I quite like how Foyan describes it: he had unfinished business, he had a mass of doubt that was slowly worked away. Doing that work, that business, that is zen.

7. Who is a Zen master? I'm not really sure. I think we use the term zen master in the west perhaps a little differently than the original tradition. In the text I've seen people write "the master", but not "the zen master", and I'm not entirely sure if this was not properly an issue of the hierarchy of the time, rather than a title of achievement. Was a leader of a monastery, an abbot for example, called a master? But yeah, other than this response with a question of my own I don't claim to know. I know plenty of people are called zen masters by a lot of people. I myself find it quite strange. Deshan for example instead of calling Bodhidharma a zen master, he calls him "A minion from hell" I think. So it seems people are allowed to abuse zen masters.

8. Buddhism as I understand it, is the Buddha dharma, the teaching of the buddha. Not all schools that follow the Buddha's teachings are derived mythically from Bodhidharma. Some schools seem even a bit strange to me: like the Tibetan crazy wisdom or their Vajrayana idea of "gurus".

9. As far as I know there are wild differences between different schools of Buddhism. So I would imagine that Zen can count as one Buddhism, among many, all different amongst themselves. But as far as I know a western idea that Zen is different, that it amounts to a "science of mind", that can be abstracted from the religion, that can be secular or empty of "superstitions like rebirth": that's all bullshit. There are more things in common with other schools of Buddhism than you'd think. (This talking of ancient chinese Chan, never mind the schools that continue them) I guess, I imagine, the bigger difference is with "Secular Buddhism", "Western Buddhism".

10. Buddhists believe in the 3 or 4 seals, I think is the best definition I've seen. It's a test to see if a text can be classified as Buddhist. I think people often think of the four noble truths and the eightfold path as the definition of Buddhism and Buddhist beliefs, but as far as I know these are actually quoted in very few sutras.

From Wikipedia:

>Everything conditioned is impermanent.
Everything influenced by delusion is suffering.
All things are empty and selfless.
Nirvana is peace

11. What work is the word "religious" doing? Is "Faith" different from religious "faith"? "Faith in heart-mind" is a famous poem, "Either doubt or faith, if they're complete, will get you to enlightenment" I think is my half remembered quote from Foyan. Maybe for me Zen counts as a religion, yeah, a spirituality, an organized tradition. So yeah, I'd call Faith in the buddha dharma as "religious faith", sure.

Maybe a different question would be "what part does religiosity play in zen?". I remember I replied I think to ThisKir regarding ritual. "Ritual" seems very synonymous to me to "religiosity. I quoted a zen master being questioned about why he bowed to the Buddha statue. I quoted the very concept of a "patchrobed monk" as a ritualized thing. I don't think anybody took me up on my argument.

12. I sometimes worry a bit about talking about zen being in some way teaching zen. Maybe all of us, if we talk about zen enough, will be someone's first "teacher" in some way, the first time someone hears about zen. I guess to a great extent teaching should come from actual maturity in the path. Actually knowing what you're talking about. But I guess for the most part I actually don't worry too much about whether teachers should be teaching. The Buddha spoke of how you should test out for yourself, right? Not believe in stuff because the Buddha said it, and instead because you see for yourself. I guess that's the main thing, whether people are saying something like "I am right, follow me" or whether it's less ego-based.

13. I wanted to use this question to talk about something I believe. As far as I know scholars don't believe the koans were historical, instead they believe the stories to be a bit of myth, a bit of rumor, hearsay. I doubt a bit the idea that there is a lineage all the way back to the original Buddha. I doubt the idea that any of the lineages to back to Boddhidharma. I think there's one story about Hakuin maybe, some guy being granted the bowl and the robe and having to leave in the middle of the night: seems a bit suspicious to me. I think I read somewhere that maybe this had to do with competing schools. We generally hear the story of the winners, of the survivors. I don't mind too much if what we have to work with are myths, but maybe I don't believe too much this idea of an unbroken chain.

https://preview.redd.it/s61ifm44u4ah1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=6d26ff03d08451e0f11d9ebab4b24362b4288a0f

Suzuki Roshi, taken from ...

(From: https://www.shunryusuzuki.com/Detail1?ID=65)

He continued ..

>... practice is not separated from enlightenment. When you practice it, the practice is the expression of your true nature. Where you practice it, you have your true nature.

Looking for a silent meditation retreat in the American southwest or Midwest.

Must accept participants over 50.

Preferably free or by donation and 5 days or less.

I’d like to keep practicing, but the local temple charges a monthly fee of €40 for the weekly zazen sessions, and the fact is that I’m not working right now and will soon be a student again, so I don’t know if I’ll be able to afford it every month (payment is made through a subscription that renews automatically).

Now, I don’t feel comfortable asking to be exempted because that would put me in a privileged position compared to others, and I don’t think that’s fair. I don’t even think it’s possible. Despite this, it’s a barrier for me because I can’t help but wonder, “Will I be able to afford it next month?”

I don’t know how to handle the situation. I’m sorry to have to give up the practice and the Sangha, but it’s a complicated situation.

I find myself suffering a lot, as if it’s reaching a breaking point. My health is suffering, physically and mentally. Relationships. Job stress. A lack of understanding and gratitude with who I am has led me to feel intense depression, anxiety, and emptiness. I gave up taking care of myself and felt resigned to suffering.

I started to re-read Charlotte Joko Beck again, though, and things are starting to click. I plan to start sitting. What have I got to lose?

Anyone else find Zen when they have been suffering?

Zen Buddhism's distinguishing characteristic is non-dualistic thinking.

If that is so, then is the sacred/profane distinction applicable to it as a religion? (see sociological definition of religion)

If you say that it's not applicable, then why are there sacred Zen temples? There appears to be a separation of the sacred and the profane through these spaces.

If you say that it is applicable, then it is dualistic after all?

Help me understand.

Hello everyone,

I’m currently living on the East Coast of the U.S. Over the past seven years, I’ve attended several sesshins and sat through two of S. N. Goenka courses. While those 7–10 day intensive retreats have been valuable, I’ve come to realize that they haven’t been enough for me to establish the kind of deep, steady meditative training that carries into daily life.

I recently learned about Plum Village’s annual Rain Retreat in Thailand next month, as well as the Winter Retreat at Blue Cliff Monastery in upstate New York at the end of October. I’m considering attending both. There would be about a 10-day gap between them, which would give me time to visit family and rest before beginning the Winter Retreat.

I’m curious whether anyone here has experience practicing within the Plum Village tradition, and what your thoughts are on doing two longer retreats back to back.

For some context: I’m 31 years old, unmarried, without children, and at this moment, not employed. For a long time, I’ve felt drawn to a deeper residential experience in a monastery, not as an escape from life, but as a way to cultivate a more serious and stable practice, let go of unwholesome habits, and build healthier ones.

I’m aware that, in the world today, especially with AI, the economy, and the pressures people my age often feel, there is a strong pull to keep up, learn the next tool, buy a house, get married, and keep moving forward in a conventional sense. I don’t dismiss those things. But I also recognize that the person I am right now, with certain unwholesome seeds in my store consciousness and a lack of consistent meditative discipline, may not yet be able to show up as fully or wisely as I would like. I worry that if I don’t tend to this inner work, it could hold me back and, in turn, affect the people I love and care about.

My hope is that doing these longer retreats back to back would allow me to go deeper in my training and create a stronger foundation for the next phase of my life.

The main thing I feel nervous about is entering the Plum Village community without much prior experience with it. Most of my practice has been with Soto/Rinzai Zen teachers in the U.S., along with Goenka-style Vipassana, so this would be a new community and teaching style for me.

I’d be grateful for any feedback, advice, or practical tips, especially from anyone who has spent time in Plum Village practice centers or done longer retreats there.

Thank you very much!

Yesterday, I drove with my wife, son and daughter some 3 hours each way to my wife's hometown. It was time for the 27th "Hoji" for her late father. "Hoji" (法事), which literally means "Dharma Event," is the memorial service for a deceased family member, traditionally held every 7th day until the 49th Day, then on the.100th Day, then on the 1st, 3rd, 7th, 13th, 17th, 23rd, 27th, 33rd and 50th year after death (although maybe most families stop after the first few years. Our family is quite diligent in having them.) Issho Fujita, a Soto Zen priest, explains this way ...

>Hoji ... is an important Buddhist practice to commemorate a deceased person and to pray sincerely for the repose of his or her soul. It also provides a wonderful opportunity for surviving family and friends to reconfirm human ties which the departed brought about, to realize that they owe much to the deceased, to renew their gratitude to him or her and to deeply reflect upon themselves in connection with him or her. It is believed that these hoji services will increase the merit of the deceased person so that he/she will be reborn in the pure land. ... Nowadays in Japan after a funeral is held, hoji is performed every seven days after the day of death, seven times altogether. These memorial services are called kinichihoyo. This is based on the ancient Indian idea that the soul of the deceased would stay in an intermediary realm (chuin, or chuu in Japanese) for 49 days after death, wandering between this world and the next. ... This is also a period of time for the bereaved family to mourn the loss, gradually coming to terms with it, and to regain a sense of peace. ... There are also further memorial services after the 49th day, such as the service on the 100th day, the 1st year, 3rd year, 7th, 13th, 17th, 23rd, 27th, and 33rd year. These anniversary memorial services are called nenkihoyo. They are performed in order to support the deceased who have already gone to the pure land to continue walking on the path of the Buddha. Normally the 33rd year (sometimes 37th, or 50th year) is the last (tomuraiage, "end of mourning"), marking the time when the individual deceased is thought to have become absorbed into the general ancestral spirit. It means that the spirit is gradually purified by the power of tsuizen-kuyo, eventually loses its individuality and becomes a full blown bodhisattava [or Hotoke, which means "Buddha."] LINK: https://www.sotozen.com/.../pdf/sermon_archive_03_11.pdf

You may already notice several statements there that might surprise some: What is this "soul" or "spirit" he mentions, and how are we helping them to be reborn in the Pure Land, then to be absorbed in the "ancestral spirit" to become a "Buddha" at the end? Does not Buddhism reject a "soul?" Does not Buddhism traditionally speak of rebirth in a new life? Why are Zen folks talking about the "Pure Land" (usually associated with Amida Buddha and the Pure Land Buddhists)?

The simple answer is that Japanese culture (and Chinese culture too) always had a difficult time rectifying the Buddhist teaching of "no self/no soul" with traditional "ancestor worship" beliefs in a soul and spirit that tends to never really leave the family, and is always somehow close by, even when in the other world. Nobody really wants to see their "Grandpa" reborn in some other family! The answer to this conundrum in Japan is, basically, to ignore the conundrum, not try to figure it out, and just let people believe that Grandpa's spirit in the "other world" is still in close proximity somehow and that, if we do these memorial ceremonies, Grandpa will eventually become a "Hotoke," a "Buddha," somehow. In between, Grandpa is "somewhere" which, since the other Buddhists talk about the "Pure Land," is likely there. Best not to worry about the details about what that all means! (There is also the shadow of this belief that, if a family fails to perform such memorial services, the angry deceased will come back to haunt and curse the family, a belief that some Buddhist temples have unfortunately encouraged in the past as a way to encourage these ceremonies!)

There is also the historical truth that all this became the custom because it was once imposed by law on all Japanese during Samurai times: The Shoguns, in order to keep out Christianity, mandated that all Japanese MUST belong to a nearby Buddhist temple, and MUST have their funerals and Hoji performed there as a way to economically fund the temples. In turn, the temple priests would keep watch on behalf of the authorities to make sure that none of their parishioners were secretly Christians or otherwise trouble-makers! Today, after so many centuries, most Japanese just accept that they must perform these ceremonies without thought of how they all started. An unfortunate side effect is that most Japanese never actually learned much about Buddhist teachings other than its connection to funerals and death and, today, this means that many temples are suffering as demand for such traditional funerals has decreased.

As you can tell, I am quite skeptical about much of this, and rather critical of "funeral/Hoji culture" in Japanese Buddhism. That is one reason that Treeleaf, like the vast majority of Western Zen Sangha, is much more centered on Zazen, not death rituals.

However, then a day like yesterday comes, and I am reminded of the beauty and power of the Hoji too ...

You see, my wife's whole family gathered, each generation, from Great Grandma (my mother-in-law), to her children, her grandchildren and a baby great-grand daughter. We would not all do so, at least as often, were it not for such events. The priest then came out and began his elaborate ceremony, wearing magnificent robes and mitre hat, with drums and bells sounding, incense in the air. (My wife's family are Nichiren Buddhists but it does not matter: All Buddhist Hoji in Japan, including Soto Zen, are basically the same. Some Nichiren sects like SGI do not have them I believe, but my wife's family are regular old Nichiren Buddhists, not SGI, so do.) The priest has a magnificent voice, deep almost like those Tibetan throat singers, so much so that my family tends to comment on it every time we visit as one of his best qualities as a priest whatever his other merits!

As the Chanting is in ancient Japanese, with plentiful Buddhist lingo thrown in, nobody in attendance among my relatives has hope of understanding 10% of what is being said. It is the Buddhist version of the Latin Mass. Nonetheless, it does not matter! The reason is that the whole thing is so impressive, so mysterious, that all there can feel that something powerful and important is happening. Everyone get's their money's worth (which, by the way, was not unreasonable at about $500.00 US, give or take, given the there are beautiful gardens and wooden buildings to maintain, and the priest needs to eat to keep that voice!)

We then headed out to the graveyard to place incense where the ashes of my father-in-law and other relatives are kept, pouring water over the graves (a tradition related to quenching the thirst of the deceased spirits. Some folks might leave Sake, and even cigarettes, for the dead, although our family does not. Our family's ancestors all quit smoking and drinking I guess?) There are about 400 years of generations of my wife's family in that graveyard, by the way. The youngsters were introduced to their heritage, and were impressed with their duty to continue the tradition for their own parents someday. We then headed to a restaurant for a big meal, telling stories of my wonderful father-in-law (he was great, a wonderful man and quite the character ... like a Japanese "James Dean" type! See photo below) and catching up.

So, my opinion on such events is torn again. No, our focus in our Sangha will stay on Zazen, not funerals. However, I must admit that the Hoji is still a beautiful and powerful thing. Yes, I wonder if the original Buddha in India would even understand what it was all about! Even so, it has been the custom for centuries upon centuries, and is one of the glues that holds Japanese families, and thus society, together. In fact, human beings need such ceremonies, such remembrances, or we may miss something important about being human if we totally do without. Since humankind first existed, we have gathered to remember and honor those who have passed.

Funerals and Hoji have their place and time. *

Gassho, Jundo

* Nonetheless, I have told my kids and the priests here that I don't want such a funeral or Hoji. Sit Zazen for me, chant a quick Heart Sutra, scatter my ashes under a tree, try to remember me fondly from time to time, hang some pictures to show their kids. That is enough ... especially the fond remembering!

Below: A Hoji in what appears a Pure Land Temple in Japan; My late father-in-law, his wife (now aged 90) plus his beloved Harley way back in the day.

https://preview.redd.it/b82rkn3x5s8h1.png?width=590&format=png&auto=webp&s=aaf390f1c8f271e78486c49103de18a0151bd3c9

https://preview.redd.it/4ofrnusz5s8h1.png?width=266&format=png&auto=webp&s=8673b05bfbb2440f5543bd601003e62bc45785c9