u/strawb3rryb4bi3

I’ve been listening to a lot of unreleased Ethel Cain recently and have been thinking so much about the song homecoming. Don’t worry I’m not a new fan that found homecoming through that tik tok trend lol. I first listened to homecoming probably about a year and a half ago? I honestly didn’t think too much of the song and didn’t frequently listen to it. When it resurfaced on tik tok, I decided to listen to it again and oh my god. I think I bawl my eyes out every time I listen to it now. I actually just did a big cry in the shower with it playing because I needed a good cry hahaha.

I know the song is referring to Carrie, the story by Stephen King, but I also look into the lyrics a lot more too. I think I’m in a point in my life now where I just fully understand the song and really relate to it much more than when I listened to it the first time. The slowness of it and Hayden’s voice just always makes me cry. The lyrics “young and sweet, only seventeen” just really takes me back to high school days of being absolutely ugly (I’ve had a glow up since then, thank god) and yet being so attracted to those that I could never have. Just wanting to feel wanted by others. I am almost 26 now, but im still that ugly duckling from high school who was so naive. Don’t even get me started on the lyrics “they’re all gonna laugh at me” repeating over and over. God it’s just a knife to the heart.

The song has been stuck in my head a lot recently, and I try to get it out by thinking of another song, but it never fails to creep its way back into my thoughts. It’s just devastatingly beautiful, which is a big majority of Hayden’s music. I’d love to hear anyone else’s thoughts on this song and how you view it. A lot has been going on in my life right now, so maybe that’s why I’ve been clinging onto that song a lot more recently.

This is kinda just a post for me to share all of my thoughts after failing the NPTE twice. I took my first attempt in January 2026 and failed with a 578. I thought I just needed to study harder and thought I would definitely pass my next attempt. Took my second attempted in April 2026 and failed with a 564. I have used final frontier for both attempts, true learn questions, PEATs, podcasts, and even did one on one tutoring through FF (which wasn’t super helpful tbh, the tutor kinda made me feel stupid). I decided to take a break from the July NPTE because I literally could not afford nor mentally handle another failure. I have come to the conclusion that I do have a lot of anxiety when it comes to this exam and I believe this is what is holding me back from passing. It’s not that I don’t understand the material, but I always get so caught up between two answer choices and always end up picking the wrong one. MSK is my weakest area, so I’m really trying to improve that score as I feel this area is also holding me back from passing. I’ve recently eased myself back into studying for the October exam in a few months. I am trying to ease my anxiety a bit this time and also looking into testing accommodations. I’ve been taking some anxiety meds for almost a year now. Overall, this exam has really gotten to me mentally. Seeing my classmates pass on their first attempt and beginning their careers just really makes me feel so sad, jealous, and frustrated with myself. I always hear from everyone that multiple failures happens to people more often than you’d think and that I’ll get it on the next attempt, but it’s still just so hard to grasp for me sometimes. I am trying to not let this exam make me feel like a complete loser, but some days it’s just hard. I’m just really tired of this weird phase of my life and I want to start working as a PT and make more of an income. I really cannot afford to fail a 3rd time. This Reddit page helps me to feel less alone with other people sharing their failure experiences, but it’s just so hard for me to get out of this mental slump. Any advice and tips would help, especially on how to raise my MSK score. Just feeling really defeated, and I have been for pretty much this entire year so far.

I have failed the exam twice now (January and April) and decided to take a break for July and I plan to take it for the third time in October. I was sent an email that in order to be eligible for the third attempt, I have to show proof of 10 hours of unpaid clinical observation from a licensed PT AND 10 hours of course work from somewhere? I have never heard of this and I feel like this is just really annoying. I already did 300+ unpaid clinical hours during school and I have studied so much for this exam. I believe that testing anxiety has been holding me back from a passing score. Has anyone else had to do this? I’m already feeling really embarrassed and crushed in general for failing this exam multiple times. What is 10 more hours of unpaid work going to benefit?