Don't Want to Stop Sinning?
Not a pastor.
Forgive me if this isn't the place. I'm 23F. I sin an awful lot.
I know God, I love him, I know that Jesus was tortured and died on the Cross for my sins (and for all others).
Except, I cannot stop sinning. Sometimes I feel the guilt and shame tap me on the shoulder, especially late at night when I have all the hours and silence to worry, that my actions are going to lead to Hell.
I don't really have a denomination, and I don't necessarily understand/believe in the fiery, torturous hell-pit-? I believe it's just.. nothingness? Like you're not with God.
I want to be with God and I want to love him, he's been the only real Father and guide I've had.
But I just absolutely cannot rip myself away from sin. And I don't really want to, I'm entirely in love with my sin and I just..
I have no other words. I'm terrified that just knowing that God himself lived perfectly and died for our sins isn't enough.
How come it's not enough for me to want to be better or perfect or anything?
This is more of a vent than anything, I'll admit, but I'm really looking for reassurance and kind honesty.
TLDR/clear questions;
What if I don't want to stop sinning, but I still love God and know he exists and that Jesus existed, what will happen to me? And what do I do?