u/stuckindewdrop

I see my neighbour's driveway from my window where my desk is, I don't see much... and how lucky am I, the neighbour likes to occasionally just leave bags of dog crap there, for days... Isn't that gross...? Dog people are just... gross. =-=

I think my mental contamination distress might be even stronger than the physical world. I wash my hands all the time, and am a germophobe, but it's the mental images that torture me, where my mind feels contaminated.

I feel extreme distress over say, seeing people going to the bathroom in outside somewhere, like if I'm out for a walk/hike. That image will stay in my mind for weeks... Currently dealing with my mind obsessing over seeing a man going to the bathroom a few weeks ago and it won't leave me and causes me extreme distress.

I've been to counseling for it but I can't stop feeling emotional over it, frustrated that I was there at that moment, angry at feeling violated in some way, etc. It just keeps replaying vividly in my mind...

Whenever it passes through my my head it feels like I'm being physically punched in the chest... I don't think the counselor I saw really understood "disgust" and kept referring more to fear and anxiety...

It's so tough. I know it's just normal human stuff but... I just feel it so deeply. T_t

Anyway else deal with this sort of mental contamination distress?