i feel like i dont fit in with people my age
idk who to talk to about this, since most of my friendships are pretty surface level and people just can’t really relate to my situation, so hi🥲
i'm f19 and i feel like i had to grow up a lot quicker than most people my age, because of my cleft lip and the mental load that came with it. i mostly spent time around adults, did more “adult” things, and ended up with interests that matched that. adults didn’t really judge me and they understood my depression n fear of people, even when i was younger.
now that i’m 19, i’ve worked on myself a lot (confidence, mindset, therapy, etc.) and i’m not as insecure or anxious as i used to be. i can actually talk to people my age now. feels like my brain got a huge update lol
but even though i can connect with people my age now and even share some interests, i still feel really distant from them. i know there are people out there who get me but they feel pretty rare
it sometimes feels like i’ve had a more “set” personality for a long time, while a lot of people my age are still figuring themselves out.
that's completely fair... but it makes it hard to relate. i’ll connect with someone and then a week later they seem like a totally different person. it just makes me feel kinda out of place, n it makes me cringe when they fake all of their interests... because those are your interests?? why are you not actually interested in them?? hello?????
on the other hand, i tend to click much more easily with people who are older than me (like mid 20s and up). conversations feel more natural, i don’t feel like i have to adjust myself, and people just seem more settled and genuine. they know who they are
but at the same time, a lot of them are (understandably) a bit cautious around me because of the age difference & i get why. i'd feel weird too if i was talking to someone younger than me. they also have their own established circles now n they don't really want to risk letting someone else in, also understandably so
so now i’m in this weird spot where i can finally make friends, because i can handle my social anxiety and depression + i'm not an insecure little girl anymore, but i still feel stuck
i don’t fully fit in with people my age, but i also don’t really fit in with older people either
has anyone else in here dealt with this and could give me some advice? i feel like i'm going crazy 🥲