Feeling sorry for myself
I’m truly feeling like crap, I know I’m overweight and every dr has made it known that it’s my fault that my pregnancy is high risk. I WANT to be better but I’m so exhausted, unmotivated and honestly borderline depressed most days.
The depression/anxiety is playing a massive part in my activity, I feel embarrassed to leave the house and be seen and judged therefore can’t bring myself to go for a walk and move my body, I even feel embarrassed using a walking pad in my own home in front of my husband, even though he’s never made comments on my body.
I’m not working currently and spend most of my time on the couch, I don’t have the energy to do anythingggg and my poor husband has had to pick up a lot of slack.
The main reasons for my pregnancy being high risk is obviously my weight (113kg), the fact that it’s an IVF pregnancy, the pregnancy began as a twin pregnancy but only one has a developed while the other stopped, the medication I’m on, and my diet/lifestyle.
How do we get activity and movement in when feeling nauseas and tired all the time, I do the dishes and need to rest, I genuinely applaud the women who work through their pregnancy, it makes me feel so useless though. I can’t do anything.
I’m trying to eat better, which is also a struggle as I can’t stand many foods right now, very plain and bland foods, lots of frozen food, pasta, rice.
I gag at vegetables but can manage fruit, I genuinely don’t know how to combat this problem as I know I need to eat better to be healthier but I just can’t.
I’m so so scared my baby will have complications because of me, I don’t think I could live with myself.
Anyway if you got this far thanks for listening to me sook, I don’t have anyone to share this with who will sympathise with me or care.