u/sunflowershan99

My son was stillborn at 24+1, 6 and a half weeks ago.

My best friend texted me this morning to let me know she is announcing her pregnancy on social media today. I deleted all social media when my baby was born but I still burst into tears.

I feel like I resent her, and don’t want to speak to her but on the other hand I feel so guilty about that too as she’s an amazing friend. I have known she was pregnant since February and we were both so excited to have our babies so close together. Now she is having hers and mines is gone, how do you deal with this?

Hi All,

Has anyone remortgaged in the last few weeks.

My mortgage is due to renew 30/09, have a meeting with a broker next week to look at mortgages.

The best fixed rate I’m seeing myself is 4.64% my LTV is 58%.

Has anyone else got a better deal with a broker?

Also what is the difference with a paid broker and a free one?

Hi everyone

I lost my son at 24+1 just over a month ago. One my closest friends is pregnant due to give birth in a few weeks, we were 8 weeks apart.

We spoke pretty much daily pre-pregnancy as well as whilst pregnant about maternity leave together, planning trips with the kids etc.

2 days after my sons death she had her baby shower, it was a killer to think of our friend group all celebrating whilst my son was gone.

Since my baby died, she has reached out twice. Once when he passed and once the day before his funeral just saying I’m thinking of you. I didn’t reply to either of them.

I feel angry that she hasn’t checked in on me or sent more texts to say she was thinking of me etc. am I wrong to feel this way? I expected more from her.

Hi All,

I was wondering what people’s thoughts are on if I have a case to peruse (Scotland)

Background: I recently lost my child who was stillborn at 24 weeks and contracted sepsis.

I was admitted to hospital at 19+0 in my recent pregnancy after attending triage with a small amount of blood-tinged mucus. On examination, I was found to be 3 cm dilated with bulging membranes.

I remained in hospital on bed rest for 5 weeks and I was given a diagnosis of cervical insufficiency.

The concern I have is at 24 weeks 0 days, at 1pm I reported reduced movement and asked for heart rate to be checked, baby had reading of 175bpm which is high, second one of 180bpm then doctor was called who done an ultrasound (she is not trained in using ultrasound nor checking cervical length on it) and showed heart rate of 200bpm. She told me that is “normal” as she can see him moving on the ultrasound. I said I can’t feel him move and she said I couldn’t possibly know movements yet as it’s too early. (My child already had a pattern by this point) no cervical length check was done, asked for another consultant apparently none available even though there’s a scanning department for maternity in the building. I pushed and said somethings not right and they convinced me to “wait and see”

I was moved to labor ward and given fluids as they said I was probably de-hydrated (I drink plenty of water daily) they monitored his heart rate for 1 hour at 15 min intervals, this monitoring was done by the Doppler from the midwife and manual counting watching the clock. All readings were over the recommended 110-160bpm, apart from one that 158bpm. Doctor was called who advised not to monitor me anymore.

7:30pm - start to feel shivery and unwell, temp checked and it’s 37.9 paracetamol given. By 8pm it was 38.5, consultant called who advised was in theatre but not doing anything just watching and would come round, 9pm comes round and I’m severely unwell at this point temp in 39s midwifes had to page the doctors to immediately prescribe IVs. Consultant didn’t show up until 11pm who then done an ultrasound and confirmed my baby had no heart beat. I had felt him move 30 mins before this, and raised concerns 10 hours prior. Temp spiked to 40.8 and was delirious by this point and sepsis had kicked in. Had to be induced and deliver my stillborn child. Hospital are currently conducting a SAER.

I believe if my concerns were taken seriously my baby could still be alive, and I wouldn’t have almost died from sepsis too.

Obviously lasting mental health effects from trauma, grief. I also believe I have post sepsis syndrome and having vision issues but speaking to the doctor to get a diagnosis this week.

Has anyone else had something similar or can provide advice?