u/super_user_122

i raised my nephew from when he was about two. my sister had him young, the dad was never on the scene, and when she was really struggling i took the two of them in and basically became the second parent in that house. i never had kids of my own and never planned to, but i loved that boy like he was mine and i gave him everything i could.

i paid for the home we all lived in, i was at every school play and football match i could make, i taught him to drive, and i made sure he came out of university with no debt hanging over him. it was a good life and we were close, right up until uni when he drifted. he stayed close to his mum but went cold with me, and it turned out hed reconnected with his birth dad through a new girlfriend whod pushed him toward it, and i quietly got edged out.

my sister backed him in everything which i understood, shes his mum, but it still hurt to be cut out after all those years. when she got ill he and i would cross paths at her bedside and barely speak, and after she passed i only really heard from him to sort out her bits and pieces, which wasnt much because shed been quietly topping up his life for years from the money i put into our household.

now that shes gone and that monthly money has stopped, hes started calling me asking for help with his bills. i said no. the house, the savings, all of it is mine and always was, even the car she drove was on my finance. he told me this proves i never really saw him as a son, and i told him to ask the birth dad he chose to bring back into his life. his wife rang to say id never see their future grandkids, and honestly i told her i was alright with that. so am i the bad one for cutting off a grown man with a job and a wife?

im 24 and ive been living at my dads for the past couple of months because my flat lease ran out. Dads been with his partner for about two years and she basically lives here with her grown daughter whos 22, so its been the four of us in the house.

The thing is his partner has been kind of off with me from the start. Shes lovely with dad and obviously adores her own daughter but with me its always a bit cold. She doesnt really include me in anything and ive sort of just been keeping to my room because its easier.

Last weekend dad wanted us to all bond a bit so he came up with this "girls day" thing where his partner would take me and her daughter out shopping. He gave her three hundred quid in cash and told her to make a proper day of it for all three of us with lunch on him and a bit of money to treat ourselves.

We went round about five shops and his partner bought her daughter a whole new outfit and a bag and basically anything she pointed at, while i just trailed around watching. Im not the type to ever ask someone to buy me stuff, but at the end of the day we stopped at a coffee place and i asked if i could get a flat white. She told me shed actually run out of cash on the card and would get me something "next time we go out."

She and her daughter then ordered themselves a coffee each and two slices of cake and i just stood there. I asked if i could share one of the cakes and she said no because it was a treat for her daughter doing well at uni and it wouldnt be fair to give it to someone who hadnt earned it.

We got back home and dad clocked the two coffees and the cake bag and asked where mine was. I just told him exactly what had happened. His partner went red and started saying i was twisting her words and being dramatic, and her daughter said i was being jealous and acting like a teenager. Dad didnt say much at the time but ive heard them arguing about it twice since.

So heres where it gets messy. Her daughters birthday is next weekend and dad has booked a restaurant for all four of us and is paying the whole bill. I genuinely do not want to sit through an evening of his partner fussing over her daughter and pretending im not there. Im thinking of telling dad im not coming, but i know shell make it look like im sabotaging the birthday.

WIBTA if i just skipped it?