u/superdelish

Choice excerpt:

>My first boyfriend, a white American man in the Navy, used to make me come pick him up from the naval base, and then wouldn’t let me drive back because I was an “Asian woman,” and thus, a “bad driver.”

>Sometimes he would swat at me and go “bad Asian!” Just like how you’d discipline a dog.

>The worst was how he would continue to get in my face and scream, “YOU BOMBED PEARL HARBOR! YOU BOMBED PEARL HARBOR! YOU BOMBED PEARL HARBOR!” He did it constantly and would get his fellow Navy sailors to join him. Oh, and he knew that my grandma and Japanese family were all in the Japanese incarceration camps during WWII.

>I was only ever the “Asian girlfriend” to him. I was the yellow notch mark in his belt.

>Behavior like this continued with all the white men I dated after him. Given this Orientalizing sexualized treatment of myself, there were just a few after him. I decided that I only wanted to end up in a serious relationship with another mixed race person. (Coincidentally, I am now married to a half Japanese Brit, who is the loveliest person I’ve ever met.)

>I was sick of being told by men that they “have yellow fever,” “love Asian girls,” “have an Asian fetish,” etc. It’s disgusting. It reduced me into a small part of myself that didn’t even factor as a large part of my own personal identity. These white men continued to tell me just how “Asian” I was. But “Asian” to them was purely a sexualized, degrading fetish.

>You know who doesn’t treat me like a fetish? Who has only ever respected me? And has treated me exactly like how every woman in the world deserves to be treated?

>That’s right. My husband. I married him for a reason.

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