u/surly_little_buffalo

J'ai une chienne de 10 ans, adoptée il y a 7 ans à la SPA, et un chien de 8 ans adopté il y a un mois environ. Ils font tous les deux 9-10kg.

Aucun des deux n'est très sociable individuellement, mais avec l'arrivée du deuxième, leur agressivité est empirée par une sorte d'effet de meute et ils aboient sur tous les chiens qu'on croise en balade.

Pour y remédier, nous avons rappelé l'éducatrice qui nous avait vraiment énormément aidée avec la première (agressivité envers les humains quand nous l'avons adoptée, aujourd'hui adorable). Je suis très contente parce que les exercices qu'on leur fait faire quotidiennement semblent vraiment aider.

Seulement, habituellement nous donnons peu de friandises à nos chiens et pas tous les jours, car je ne veux pas qu'ils soient en mauvaise santé.

Auriez-vous des recommandations pour des friandises plus saines que je pourrais leur donner, une ou deux poignées par jour ? Utiliser leurs croquettes habituelles ne marcherait pas, pas assez appétissant pour eux en dehors de leurs repas.

After I had a massive burnout a year and a half ago, I had no energy left for The Masking Performance.

I didn't really change, so my people (closed friends and family) didn't notice any difference, because we've always been unmasked with each other.

But, I was now presenting myself as my truest to anyone indistinctly. That hit my partner's friends and family hard.

I don't think they like the "new" me.

The me who takes care of my needs instead of burying them under "it's what social norms expect of you".

The new me doesn't put me through the messed-up masquerade that they call family gathering. If I don't want to go, I won't go. And I'll be honest about why.

No more vague excuses like "I already committed to other plans", it's now "you've picked a restaurant downtown and I don't have the energy for the sensory nightmare that is public transportation, the city itself and the restaurant itself".

And "I have opinions about your relationship dynamics, I'm willing to keep them to myself if unsolicited but if you ask, I won't lie".

But also "but I'll happily come to spend the weekend with you at this nice little house you rented in the countryside, I'd love to go on a hike there with you."

It's not that I don't want to spend time with them, but I'll only attend when I truly feel comfortable. I think it's honest and reasonable. But I know they feel frustrated and irritated by this.

They are also more afraid of me than ever before, and I'm fully taking advantage of that because I know they won't react too strongly or harshly. When we'll have this long due conversation, they will try to understand because they have a lot to loose if they don't.

About that : they were always afraid of me - or rather, they are afraid to mess up to the point I wouldn't want to see them anymore (it's been going on for years but I only fully realized recently).

Well the way I see it, if you are a decent person you have nothing to worry about, right ? But also, I guess I wasn't masking as well as I thought.

Anyway, I like this new dynamic. And I like that I like it. My partner likes it too. We both would rather surround ourselves with people who truly know us and love us for who we are, not who we perform to be.