u/suspended_acct

My ex son in law has kidnapped my seven year old granddaughter. I say kidnapped because I have full legal guardianship, while he (nor my daughter) have any custodial rights. Both are in recovery from heavy drug use, and he has a long list of felonies, including serving time in prison.

I have had full guardianship for over five years, and she has lived in my home since she was an infant. Since she was under guardianship when he and my daughter divorced, custody was not ordered, hence why neither have custodial rights. I’ve done more than a fair job at allowing him parenting time, so that’s not the issue.

He was supposed to return her last Sunday, after his week long visit. Instead, he sent me a scathing text message basically saying my guardianship is going to end and he won’t be returning her.

I’ve been there twice with the police but he’s refusing to return her, just being nasty and combative with them. Even though I have documentation showing I am her legal guardian, they will not forcibly remove her unless she is in danger.

To make things even worse, he told the police that he called CPS on me and filed a report. I have no idea what he is claiming, but it’s 100% fabricated. There is nothing in my life or home that is dangerous, neglectful, abusive, etc., there’s no weapons, no drugs, I have no criminal record at all. I am a 50 something stay at home grandma to this little girl who my world revolves around.

So, now on Monday, my attorney will need to file with the court to order him to return her. But, I’ve read that even with a court order, I may not get her back that easily.

I haven’t seen her in two weeks, nor talked to her in a week, and am just sick over it. He also is not allowing her to speak to my daughter, her mom. I honestly just cannot wrap my head around what he’s thinking. The police even told him this wasn’t going to look good for him. He claims to have an attorney, but in what world would any attorney tell him it’s okay to keep her like this?

Yes, I miss her like crazy, but knowing the trauma he is causing her right now is what’s doing me in. She told the police she wanted to come home with me; I can only imagine how sad she is, how much she misses me and her friends and her pets.

I will never forgive him for this, and if I have my way, he’s going to add to his long criminal record - parental kidnapping and filing a false CPS report.

Any advice at all?

My daughter turned 26 two weeks ago and just landed herself a $92k a year job! I cannot even fathom that kind of money at that age. Other than about $28k in student loans, she has no financial responsibilities, still lives at home.

I am wanting to do everything I can to teach her about investing and saving and hope to have her retired early and enjoy life!

My thought was to throw everything at the student loans and have them paid off in six months. After paying them off, she wants a new(ish) vehicle and will then start to max out everything - HSA, 401k, Roth.

Good idea? Or start maxing out contributions right away? My husband wants her to contribute everything so she doesn’t ever get used to the big paychecks lol But I want those student loans gone.

We do not live in a HCOL area, may possibly be considered low.

She already has HYSA with $10k.

Thoughts or advice? Thanks so much!