My ex randomly stopped paying for one of our daughters sports.
It's not in the order that he has to pay but we both agreed to pay half.
Can I adjust the support order to add this? Or take him for more?
I mean, I know I can TRY but would they do that?
Hey guys, I have a quick question or more so need suggestions.
So my BD took me to court for our son (20m) because I don’t let him physically have the child (I have a few reasons but not great ones and it’s mainly just been fear) I allow him to FaceTime the child whenever and on a rare occasion I will meet with him in public for about 2-3 hrs for him to be with him.
He’s trying to get 50/50 (which i’m totally okay with but also don’t want to disrupt my sons already set schedule) I suggested we start small with one weekday a few hours and then every other weekend. He says no and he’s contesting that. Which again I knew he would do. Im trying to see what could be some suggestions I do in the mean time while we are currently going thru court. I planned a dinner for this Sat and let him choose where and what time. I also suggested that he have him next weekend but i’m scared he will keep him. (although he said he wouldn’t and would get into trouble with the courts)
I’m also doing all of this pro se because I can’t afford a lawyer. I also heavily weigh on my moms opinion when it comes to all of this and I unfortunately have let her dictate too much for what I do and what happens with my sons father. How can I stop allowing myself to feel like i need her “approval” ??
I will take any suggestions and best case scenarios.
If the divorce decree was signed when the kids were young, and instead of paying traditional child support, the father agreed to eventually pay for their college tuition, could he still be obligated to pay that money even though the kids are now 30 and haven't yet gone to college but want to?
i had my first visit with the GAL, my daughter is one so it was brief. He asked me about the accusations which I proved were false right then and there.
Should I be reaching back out to him or what do I keep him updated on? I am confused on what is going on with the GAL the last court date was him, the lawyers and the judge and the next date, next month they said it would be the same but it’s called a “trial” for some reason.
Should I be telling him my concerns or updating him in anyway? Or let him reach out to me? It almost seemed like he was implying it was a one interview and done type of deal.
his may be confusing & I apologize. I’m not at all educated on family law matters when it comes to this kind of situation.
I gave birth to a wonderful baby back in Feb. As of now, I am engaged to my child’s father, living together & currently NOT working.
He handles all finances but I do pay certain bills with what I have to contribute so it’s not all on him. usually whatever bill is smaller such as water/sewer etc.
Our home is in his name as passed down by relatives, and our 2 vehicles are also in his name.
currently I am making no income due to being a SAHM. I love being able to be here with my baby 24/7 but I worry about my savings dwindling away. I would like to mention my concerns here are because even before baby we would argue, nothing to where we would end the relationship but I just want to make sure I’m taking care of myself in the event that WOULD happen. I had state medicaid during the pregnancy & now currently no insurance. I’m NOT recieving anything from PA now as I feel that’s “using the system”. some may disagree but I don’t believe in taking things I don’t need. I always have enough groceries, a place over my head, all that I need and more. I’m just worried if something we’re to happen how this would effect my child. (mothers panic I guess) I don’t want to be considered homeless (can’t live with any of my family we have been NC for years due to abuse) with no money or transportation and they give my fiancee entire custody should that be the case.. I love my baby girl and while everything is going perfect I just panic sometimes when we have had arguements that should our relationship end I have nothing. 😭. It’s a worry in the back of my mind the state would take my baby from me & give him her with all his assets that he has while I have nothing to my name.
He takes care of us both really well, we live a great life this is just a WORRY ! I’m sure all SAHM have experienced something similar.
What should I be doing to take care of myself other than keep my savings?? I don’t ever go shopping or spend unnecessary money just in case my daughter may need anything. like I said he does all our finances I’m extremely grateful to live a life of luxury in those ways. just not sure how to proceed in making sure I have a leg to stand on should it ever come to that.
He is listed on all documents for paternity, emergency contact for her doctors and also has attended any & all appointments for her and me. I don’t want anything to ever happen between us, we are very much on the same page of staying together we would want her to have BOTH parents together at all times due to both having shitty parents.
just you never know I guess what the future holds an want to take care of what I need as her mother. thank you for all advice.
I’m 22M (mother of my child is 22) and have been paying $600/month in child support for the last 4 years since the birth of my son.
I’ve been working 12-16 hour shifts as a laborer in extreme weather, and I’m currently exhausted -sun burn, frost bites and struggling to survive but thats beside the point.
I want to have a name to myself. Even a little. For my child and myself.
During the 4 years,she had no income as she was a full time college nursing student.
(Explains why I pay more)
My child's mother is a nurse making $70-$80/hr.
I am paid $15/hr
I’m emancipated with no family support and want to go to college to build a better future (it has always been a dream of mine especially coming from a rough background)
I tried to ask her but she doesn’t care- which I understand we never had a relationship and she got pregnant, I barely knew her except for her name at that time (i was a kid and didn’t know better) and says she’s going to sue me for underemployment something like that
Is it possible to modify my child support so I can work part-time and go to college? Is it OK for me to have my turn now to be in college?
Im just scared because her lawyers are very good top notch family lawyers and I’m pro se (and im not even that smart honestly)
So where can I start. I am 22 year old and met this girl I was 20 she was close to 19 and we fell in love. Then she got pregnant. She told me she took contraceptive but yeah that didn't do nothing. So I asked her to abort the child and I'll give you more later just please abort it. Since I told her she literally became someone else. Like she was toxic disrespectful insulting me saying during pregnancy the baby is not mine just to hurt me sayin it will never work out to leave her alone. And I tried continuing talking to her because I was saying she is crazy because of the pregnancy hormones. Until one day I saw a guy texting her and she took her phone and immediately snatched it and deleted the convo. I was suspecting something and guess what she was crying and then slapped me because she was pushing me and I tried holding her wrist to stop like pushing me and told her '' we just need to talk no need to be this emotional ''. She slapped me hard 2x and it wasn't painful I just heard a buzz at my ear and told myself yeah it's dead I need to get out of her house before something bad will happen. Long story short I made a vacation out of my country because I wanted to decompress and she learnt about it ad starting to talk to other guys random people saying she can't go to party because I got her pregnant. Unfortunately I crashed out and was so traumatized about it so I blocked her everywhere. I came back to my country after 1 month and she threatened me with child support yelled at me saying I am a POS her mom was saying racist things to me (I didn't care I was just disappointed a mom was saying that) and then I was done done. I blocked her and her family. then months went by her brother txted me than she continued adding guys and her ex.
Then one day she gave birth without me like I didn't even know. So my cousin and friend told her to let me see the child once at first she didn't want to but after she contcted me by number and at first it was nice we talked about the problem why we were jealous and everything. But then she told me ''what are we'' with a huge smile and told her we are just parents and asked her for a dna test. She cried and told me she did everything alone (mind you everyday I asked her what she needed but she was always hiding things to me insulting me disrespected me). So then the next day she told me it's not going to work out I begged like a dog to see a picture of the child and she gave me 1. So I was like you know what I'll leave her alone. 2 weeks later she texts me sayin you don't love ur own child and I was just like this girl is crazy. And again I was recomforting her but this time I told her I love her and everything just to see the child and she finally sended me some pictures videos for like 2 weeks and then she send me some messages and sends me nude ???? like wtf take care of the child.
So I took a initiative and bought some clothes for the child and left her at the doorknob because I remember her mom threatening me with the police and my baby momma saying she misses my body and mind you at this point I didn't saw her for like 7-8 months physically so idk if she hooked up with someone else and with my eyes rn she is just disgusting for real. So then she got the clothes told me a cold thank you and restarted the cycle of accusing me or creating problem for no reason being difficult for no reason and told me you want a dna test go to court. I want our daughter to have sibling just not with you I am done with you forever and then she deleted me.
Now it's been like 5-6 month I have completely didn't talk to her she still talk to so many other dudes before that was hurting me a lot but right now Idk what should I expect with someone like her. Post thirst trap everywhere post the child everywhere but me na 0 pictures nothing like she moved on so fast and erased me and she doesn't know but I am not anymore in the same country because I had a scholarship elsewhere sooo yeah and right now she is just blocked everywhere. And I am like this close to giving up because I am young in another country much better than were I was from people like me there idk man.
So yeah idk if she will contact me idk if i will see my daughter like I have screenshots of her saying I should have aborted or I will have no right get out of my and MY daughters life. But her the screenshots she has from me is Thank you for making me a father I am ready to leave all this behind I love you. Sooo yeah what do y'all think
(English is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes)
(Sorry if it's also long it's just sometimes I just can't sleep or can't continue with my days I got threated so badly and that's what I remember and also some things I dont say sooo yeah)
My spouse of over a decade is trying to force a trial in our divorce process so that she can have primary custody of our preteen child. Her statement is that she will be a better provider and caregiver. There’s no domestic or safety issues involved. It’s based on her availability over the years to go to medical appointments where I couldn’t. She doesn’t believe in active parenting and using healthy boundaries, where she avoids any conflict or confrontation.
For example, I give 2 to 3 options for dinner when it’s my night, they always involve some vegetables, while she used to go through a dozen options that involved snack foods like chips, a beef stuck and popcorn. And nights where that didn’t work, they would just go out to a local fast food place.
Nearly every night I spend with our child involves an outside activity or movement for at least 30 minutes, coloring, drawing, card games, puzzles, fort building, or whatever else we can concoct to spend time together. Generally 2 to 3 hours; where their relationship has consisted of movies, TV and video games 90% of the evenings that my spouse spent with them.
She has refused all ADR and our first pre-trial date is set.
She earns twice as much money as I do, (well over 100K ) and could easily afford a full trial. There’s no way I can do that without going into massive debt, and I don’t qualify for legal assistance.
I did hire a lawyer, but I can’t afford more than a single retainer. I’m told they will try to work out as much as possible at the pre-trial and hopefully come to a deal. But I see her forcing the custody issue to trial and I’ll end up there without a lawyer, and that sounds like an ultimate loss for me.
What are the options for me to avoid this costly direction or at least what can I expect if I do end up at trial without a lawyer?
EDIT: It’s not a complex medical issue, but she has a problem with her exocrine system that requires her to go into one or two extra doctors appointments, beyond regular checkups, each year. Usually for about a half a day. It does require ongoing treatment but we have split the work at home equally.
EDIT: I’ve seen a couple couple notes about both of us forcing a trial because we can’t come to an agreement. My only goal in this is to get 50/50 custody. I have no other agenda or requests beyond that. She’s insisting on primary custody even though we have both been heavily involved in our child’s life, but she took her to most of her doctors appointments due to the flexibility of her job and inflexibility of mine.
Location: California
(I do not have a lawyer)
The order was written last month. I was granted two hours of supervised visitation with a list of monitors to choose from. I chose three (as stipulated by the judge), including the one recommended by the judge. She is refusing the judge's order by stating they aren't to her standards, among other things, via Talking Parents. Here's what I did:
I filed an FL-300 (Request for order) to address this. Trial date set for the middle of next month.
Had the sheriff's dept serve her - but they haven't attempted yet, it was only 3 days ago.
Forgot to include the blank response. Panicked.
Emailed the sheriff to not serve her. They responded, confirming.
Went back to court to have the trial date vacated to a later date because she likely wouldn't be served in time (She dodges, we'll have to use substitute service). It should take a week for a response.
From what I'm reading on the OCSD's self-help, an RFO can be mailed by a server (along with a few other papers:
https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/request-for-order/serve-request-mail
Now I have to wait a week or so for a response about a new trial date.
My question is: Am I doing everything right? I'm scared either the person who approves the process will disagree or the judge will say I did something wrong, please help.
My child’s fathers wife won’t let our baby visit his dad or stay in the house where she and him live. Can she legally dictate that? I’m in NC. He pays all the bills in the house. She says she gets to dictate what happens in the house.
ETA They had visitation this weekend, it went great, but now she changed her mind.
I have not addressed this with him yet as he’s busy at work.
Hey guys! I had a question. My ex and I are divorced and I take her of her kiddos. (They aren't biologically mine but the courts gave me full custody.) in the court document it says that she is required to pay me child support. My issue is she hasn't had a job in over three years. And there is no hope in the future that she will. Is it even worth filing for child support? What do you guys think?
I really need advice on how to handle this situation with my son’s father.
When my son was almost 3, I left his father, who is very controlling and deeply into “sovereign citizen” beliefs/government conspiracy thinking. After my son was born at home, his father refused to let me get him a birth certificate. I know people will ask why I went along with it, but I had just given birth, I was scared of him, isolated, financially dependent, and honestly ashamed to tell my family how extreme things had gotten.
Eventually I left and fixed everything legally. My son now has a birth certificate and Social Security card. I am the only legal parent listed because we were never married and his father refuses to be on the birth certificate.
His father also currently has a suspended/expired license, no insurance, and expired tabs. Despite all of this, I’ve still allowed him to have parenting time on weekends because I wanted my son to have a relationship with him.
The problem is that his dad treats access to our son like an entitlement while constantly verbally attacking me. He sends nonstop texts criticizing me, insulting me, accusing me of harming our son, saying my “energy” is bad, criticizing his diet even though he eats well, getting angry when I take him to the doctor, saying antibiotics are poison, etc. I’ve repeatedly asked him to keep communication focused only on our son and practical logistics, but he refuses.
I also want to start getting my son vaccinated, and I know his father will completely lose it over that. I worry he would expose our son to his anger and paranoia.
I already spoke with Friend of the Court, and they basically told me that because there’s no custody order and I’m the only legal parent, I already have full custody. They also warned me that if I initiate court proceedings, it could actually create more rights/involvement for him.
So now I feel stuck.
Part of me wants to completely stop visits because the constant harassment and instability are exhausting. But I’m also genuinely afraid of how he would react if I suddenly cut contact. I worry about harassment, escalation, or constantly looking over my shoulder.
At the same time, I’m afraid that if I continue visits, he could someday refuse to return my son, and then police/legal drama would traumatize my child.
Has anyone dealt with a situation like this — especially with someone who has extreme anti-government/paranoid beliefs? How did you safely reduce contact or create boundaries without escalating things?
I’m mostly trying to figure out:
whether I should slowly reduce visits vs stop them immediately - and how would I do that? He doesn’t respect me.. would the trauma of me trying to do that make things worse for my son?
whether I should formally document everything before making changes
how to protect my son emotionally and legally
whether supervised visits are something I should consider
how to safely handle vaccines/medical decisions when the other parent is extremely opposed
Please be kind. I know I made mistakes staying as long as I did, but I was scared and trying to survive.
No issues with the Motion I filed( I am definitely not an Attorney) being a single mom on disability all my money goes to my son!
I could immediately tell the Judge today did not read even a sentence in my petition today by the line of questions and accusations and the aggression she had towards me. I know she’s over worked and behind schedule because she said so. She made horrendous and potentially harmful assumptions. Without retaliation, how can I get her to at least read some of it? Even just the first paragraph?
That may be a long shot but I'm convinced that if I can't find any answers in the Reddit-verse then the answers don't exist. I'm trying to get a better understanding of the roles and responsibilities of PREs. The CFI/PRE program in my state specifically seems to receive a lot criticism and from the lack of regulation or structure I can understand why. I'm curious though, if you are a lawyer, what has your experience with PREs been like, what is missing, what aspects need to change regarding this resource, what have clients shared about their experiences, etc.? I'm open to all input, parents who have used PREs, lawyers in or out of CO.
I am technically the custodial parent, with 55/45 physical time, but we share joint legal custody. So far, it's been a nightmare. The divorce decree states that we have to keep each other informed of any medical issues and appointments.
Their mother sends constant texts that don't need to be sent. I dealt with nonstop harassment and name calling from her for over a year and finally got a court order that states derogatory language can not be used. (The GAL recommended OFW, but the judge did not make that part of the court order.) So now she just sends multiple texts throughout the day to bother me. I am trying to keep communication to only what is necessary, but we do not agree on what is necessary. She sent me 7 separate texts today about her older daughter being sick. ("We're at the doctor's. I'm getting her tested. What should we do if the results are positive? The results were negative. The doctor said the kids can still come to my house, but do you want them to come?")
How much contact is necessary? Is it only major medical decisions or is it every last scraped knee and chapped lip? How do I stop this without her insisting to a judge that I don't communicate with her?
Hello,
My son’s father has primary custody, and I every other weekend. This weekend he agreed to let me pick up my son today, Wednesday, and agreed to let him miss school tomorrow so we can get home to my youngest who is at daycare.
Long story short we got into an argument and now he is saying I can’t get my son tonight. The agreement was over our family wizard so it was both recorded and transcribed. Our court order states that agreed upon changes by both parents are acceptable but I’m not sure if it is something the cops can enforce or if he is allowed to change his mind in retaliation. I am supposed to get my son in 3 hours if this agreement hold up and is enforceable.
Thanks for any advice.
For context I moved out on the day of my 18th birthday because I couldn’t stand it anymore. My dad was physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive to me all of my life. I’m currently living with a friend. The issue is, for college I need his information for forms and such, and when I try asking him to sign things, he makes it extremely difficult by having me say or do things for him first. I told him that legally in our state he is obligated to provide for his kid until 21, and refusing to could possibly lead to family court. He said go for it. I want to hold this man accountable and im looking for legal advice. Can I take him to family court for anything?
Hi. I’m new to custody court. For back story bio dad vanished for a few years refused to pay child support (I didn’t enforce it really either) there was abuse allegations but it was found unsubstantiated at the time. He ran off got a new family then child support calls so bam of course I get brought to court and he cries about wanting to see our child and blah blah blah. The narcissism was showing like crazy. Fast forward to now he got his visits back however he rarely ever does them and any opportunity he has to see the child outside of his time he also doesn’t do. Didn’t show up to a single game, practice or school event. Doesn’t even ask about it. I keep it all in the calendar on the parenting app. Well we had court this week and he spent a good 35 minutes yelling and calling me crazy and how I keep his kid from him and that I make fake calls to DHS and tell fake stories and how he’s so angry that I can take his kid from him but somehow he has to pay child support and why is it his fault he has to pay 20 grand. Complained about not seeing her, pretty much 30 minutes full of bullshit and lies. Had nothing to back it up. And the judge allowed him without interfering one time. Just allowed him to yell and point and make insane accusations.
I sat there quietly and waited and then I spoke and mentioned that he doesn’t take the opportunities to see the child. I kept it short. She didn’t react to what I said either.
WHY?! All I’ve ever read about family court is to not behave how he is behaving. This is the 3rd hearing where he just spews trash and lies and makes it more about me then our child. I don’t get it.
Hi. I am the parent of two kids aged 9 and 13. I used to have 50/50 custody until I had to move to a different state for a job and now I get 60% of Summer, half of Winter break and other breaks throughout the year.
My relationship with my ex is very volatile and honestly 70% of why I moved was to get away from her after advice from family therapists, my personal therapist, my lawyer, mediators, my family and even members of her family. For a little context she has stalked and harassed my new wife.. the first year I was with my now wife she had access to an old Ipad I didn't know she had and had access to my camera roll due to that and saved a topless photo of my wife tanning that I took on my own phone and brought it up 5 months later in an attempt to blackmail us to give her full custody leaving my wife scarred and traumatized. This is just one of the many terrible things she has done to us forcing us to get far away from her. (yes charges were pressed)
That is irrelevant to this current situation I am simply providing context for the situation. I moved in Fall 2024. All of 2025 I took every single trip I could with my kids. My wife and I spent thousands flying them out here every time we could. Every single time there was conflict from the kids mom. Spring Break 2025 she refused to take them to the airport and let me have them unless I booked the trip 4 days early and took them out of school the week before so she could go out of town. Summer 2025 she didn't agree with the dates I booked because it was off by 2 extra days she wanted me to spend with them but I couldn't because I had a work trip so she pretended she wasn't going to bring them to the airport until the very hour before they had to go or else they'd miss their flights. Christmas 2025 she harassed me and my parents saying she wouldn't take the kids to the airport unless I gave her $50 in gas money. When my kids landed my 8 year old was crying telling me his mom tells him I will go to jail if I don't do what she says.
Every one of these incidents leaves my kids traumatized and the first few days of any trip we have with them are always spent healing. Seriously.. It's terrible to see.
Our decree says we are supposed to have Summer finalized by April 1st. I contacted her March 1st giving her all my plans and days and asking her to have her portion booked by April 1st (Summer travel is the one we split, last year she refused to pay so we asked her to cover both ways this Summer and set clear boundaries that if she didn't and if it wasn't booked by April 1st we wouldn't be able to take the kids this Summer) on March 9th she said she would cooperate and it all sounded good to her. I didn't hear anything else until May 18th.... when she told me she planned to drive the kids 24 hours straight to my house leaving the Saturday after they get out of school and arriving "bright and early" 6 am Sunday.. I told her no, absolutely not, neither me nor my wife can do it with a weeks notice.. It was supposed to be finalized almost 2 months ago for a reason. She is insisting she is taking them anyways, she also put 11 members of my family in a group chat to tell them she is taking the kids anyways and asking for help in forcing my hand to take them.
Obviously I want to take them. But there needs to be a time where I say no. I obviously feel terrible telling the kids I can't take them but I genuinely don't have any other option. I can't. For a multitude of reasons. And now my whole family is being harassed for it.
I know she can't force me to take parent time- but what do I do if she just drops them off on my door step? We won't even be in town on the day she's planning on dropping them off. She also refuses to acknowledge it's her responsibility to figure out their way home so she wants to drop them on my doorstep with no end in site.
There's been times where I have been on the way to the airport with them she is texting us on the OFW app telling us she is refusing to pick them up. I can't in good faith have them here and have no plan to get them home. We would love to have full custody but not like this.
In our custody order we are both to respond to communication with 24 hours. The other parent is deliberitly not adhering to order he doesnt open for a week at a time the babe was sick and had to go to urgent care he asked me to call him and then never answered or opened the app back up until a week later when i was trying to get ahold of him for exchange.
Can anything or does anything ever happen in these instances for the non responsive other parent? He also told me flat out he wasnt going to respond within 24 hours unless its an emergency and that is not what out order states.