r/FamilyLaw

This is for a family member. She has recently split with her long time boyfriend of 15 years, he is close to 70 and started losing it mentally a little and became aggressive with her. It seemed unsafe and he was asked to move out and end things. His family is now demanding money from her. They lived separately until a couple of years ago, when he sold his home. He then moved in and lived at her house and did not pay any bills (paid off house so not a problem). He was always a good guy, but seems to be declining and that side isn't there all of the time now.

He made great money in his life but was very irresponsible and ended up in major debt, she spent around $300,000 on him over the years getting him out of debt. His kids are now saying he needs help with his mental issues and they want her to sign agreement paying him $5,000 per month. They never shared a bank account, never owned property together, never married and have nothing tying to tone another on paper.

His kids act and live as if they are rich but don't want to pay for anything, they just are trying to get her to cover his expenses. She however doesn't make a lot of money and can't afford to do that at the moment. She does have assets that she has had for 20+ years and she gets cash flow from them, but nowhere near enough to just cover him in perpetuity. She offered to give them $10k to help him get through the rest of the year, and they wanted $50k plus a monthly amount of $5k starting 1/1/2027.

This is in Washington state where there is no common law marriage. Does she have anything to worry about? She is meeting with a lawyer next week, but she is very distraught and worried while processing the loss of a relationship. She still cares and is willing to help when she can, but her kids are making requests that are not possible unless she put herself in a bad spot. She is in her 70s and has to take care of herself too. I am mostly curious if they have any legal right to demand anything at all? Ideally she will consider helping on a case by case basis, but she cannot agree to any amount that is obligated to pay as each month is different for her.

I was offered a $0 child support to avoid going to court. My spouse consistently makes at least 50% more than me, but I have a decent higher networth of accounts in my control. Besides the long term math, do you think a judge will sign off on this? I am unsure if my scheduled move out date is before the final court date so unsure if I should start packing or not, dont want to be moved out and still paying court fees because things are not finalized. 50-50 custody.

50/50 joint legal/physical custody. Other parent is saying they don’t consent to me taking our 10 year old out of school for a dentist appointment. There’s nothing I can see in our agreement or in the law that addresses this.

My ex and I separated in July 2025 when our son was under 2. For roughly a year we had 50/50 shared care (2-2-3) and I was fully involved in his everyday care.
The arrangement has recently changed, reducing my time. Her concerns are mainly sleep/bedtime, tiredness at nursery and potty training, all of which I'm willing to work on and improve.
There is one complication: my ex alleges that on one occasion I pushed her in front of our son, which she describes as domestic abuse. She has told me not to go to court because, because of this allegation, I would lose. I appreciate that this is a serious allegation and would obviously need to be considered if proceedings took place.
For anyone familiar with CAFCASS/Family Court in England, how would an allegation like this affect a case where 50/50 care had already continued for roughly a year? How significant would the established 50/50 arrangement be when deciding future care?

Some key points:
Divorced in Tennessee 7 years ago, mother of children moved to Florida shortly after divorce. Child support set at $900 and 50% of medical

I intended to follow but financial struggles from divorce (and emotional) I started doing some travel contract gigs and kinda went down a dark path. Currently in Vermont and sober 3 years and met a community I needed for a long time and a wonderful girlfriend.

Past 7 years ex has never asked for money or medical bills. (she’s a nurse practitioner, and pretty sure she has a trust fund). I assumed she never needed anything and an extra few hundred a month to her is like a Spotify subscription for me.

2 Daughters age 12 and 9 came and visited me and met GF in June. It was the first person I introduced them to. I was late half the support in July and paid it all at the beginning of August.

I get an email from Ex in laws saying starting Sept 1st I need To pay $1,900 a month, and when the oldest gets braces pay $2000. (After taxes I make $4,100). He wrote he doesn’t care if I have to pick up extra shifts or get a second job, It’s **“**non-negotiable”. And not doing this would results in the hiring of the best legal representation, and how they would go after $28,000 of costs by me not utilizing my 86 days a year. (I have been living in pretty run down 1 bed room apartments and always flew to Florida and airbnb several times a year when vacation hours and scheduling allowed). The email said this would be a “monumental mistake” and it would be wise to comply.

Honestly, if my ex just asked I would have totally given her some extra money or to help with a bill. She has a very wealthy family and I just thought she didn’t want to interact with me. I did reply to the email and asked if he wanted this to be signed off my a judge or if it was a handshake and he said a “verbal handshake will be enough as long as I’m complying with the request”.

Honestly, the last court thing was traumatizing, having money worked in their daughter’s favor and she was able to move to Florida after having cashed in parts of my retirement to pay for the lawyer bill. I am fine being fair, and paying my fair share, but the math they used to come up with $1900 included expenses like her mortgage.

I am worried knowing he can drop $30,000 on a lawyers desk and basically say “make him hurt” and intentionally rack up a bill if I hire a lawyer to where I’m financially hurting. He can light $30,000 on fire and wouldn’t lose a second of sleep, I am pay check to pay check.

I plan on talking to a lawyer before I reply to him, so If someone knows someone in FL that will give me a consultation and would be fair and not try to battle this juggernaut of wealth… I’d appreciate it. (I’ll even pay a few hundred just to talk to a lawyer for an hour to see what’s about to happen) please send me a DM.

I am pretty scared and just don’t want to go through some emotional stressful battle and rack up thousands in bills because his lawyer is intentionally trying to cause me financial pain by requesting depositions and records, changing custody wording and nights etc… I thought me and my ex were on much better terms than in 2021/2022. I’m way more involved with my kids as much as I can be with FaceTime and them coming to see me and I feel like this has shattered a lot of the positive direction I was going.

Anyway, this feels like a bully coming up and saying “give me $500 or I’ll put you in the hospital and make you pay $5,000”

Hey all, I first want to start and say this IS NOT my situation. My ex and I have become friends again (we have 2 kids together) my ex has been the step mom to 4 other kids for the past 7ish years. These 4 kids as well as the 2 kids my ex and I have together, have grown up together at this point. The oldest is 14, the youngest is 6. There are 7 kids all together (my ex had another kid with her now husband).

Anyway, just today my ex told me that her husband’s ex wife has disclosed they will be moving out of state as her new husband got a new job. Now we are all wondering what exactly will happen with the 4 kids.

So my ex and her husband are now worried these kids will be leaving the state. He doesn’t have his kids “on paper” more than one day during the week, and every other weekend and of course holidays/birthdays that are split. I asked my ex if they have the kids anymore than that “unofficially” and she said yes, but she doesn’t have any documentation of it. My ex’s husband said he was going to take this issue to the court, but they are worried about the outcome of everything. And I don’t know if they have much to really stand on because he works all the time and honestly not sure if he could even explain to a court all of the needs of the children because my ex essentially takes care of them. Of course we will never know until we know.

My thought is since the kids have spent their whole life here and they are taken care of, up and moving them multiple states away isn’t going to be an easy task to get the judge to agree with, but at the same time my ex’s husband doesn’t technically have the kids that often. Will the court care about all of the things my ex does for the kids to take care of them? Or will they only consider what’s best for the kids based on what their dad can/can’t do?

In your experience, what happens in a situation like this??

So I’m going to court on the 24th and some new stuff has developed in my case.
My ex hasn’t paid me in about 9 years. I have sole custody of our child. He owes me around 74,000.

About a month ago he randomly paid
Me 2,000 dollars. Told me where was living, told
Me he got this amazing settlement and bought a new property, building a house. Told
Me he gets paid under the table through some what not app. Claimed he can’t work full time because he wants to spend time with his dad ( I have this all in writing )

Then completely fell off the face of the earth.

I told dhhs everything, they now have a lien on his property ( which he jointly owns with his girlfriend)

The attorney general is joining me on my court case.

What should I expect to happen?

I am a single father to my daughter. I just moved to IL from Texas to be with her more. The mom is dating her attorney, they try to get me arrested. My ex, manipulates my daughter, tries to force me out of her life, throws away her jewelry and stuffed animals from my house Files countless nonstop motions to the court and the judge is extremely biased and buddy buddy with her attorney.

How do i file to get a new judge, report her attorney, Make her stop filing motions and stop the alienation.

My my daughter will come to my house and tell me she doesn’t feel safe with her mom that she doesn’t wanna go to her mom’s. She says stuff like I’m scared of the dark because she doesn’t want bad guys to get her when I ask her who the bad guys are she says Nate a.k.a., my exs Attorney. She will say things like can you please ask the judge to let me spend more time with you at five years old.

I have multiple videos and recordings of my daughter saying that Nate has hit her. He comes in a room at night. She doesn’t feel safe with him, but my attorney say that it seems like I’m coaching her and nothing has been done about it.

what do I do? What kind of attorneys take defamation cases? How do I get this to stop and get more time with my daughter?

It’s been 3 years and counting.

Someone help!!!

I’m looking for experiences/opinions from anyone who’s dealt with a high-conflict custody modification.
I currently have a court-ordered roughly 50/50 schedule with my teenage child. However, in reality, I have substantially more parenting time than the order reflects. Based on my records, I’m probably closer to 60–70% of the actual parenting time depending on the year.
The other parent frequently asks me to take our child during their scheduled time because of work, personal plans, etc. I handle a significant amount of the school routine, transportation, activities, and general day-to-day parenting. I’ve been keeping records of the actual overnights as well as our written communications regarding schedule changes.
There have also been some more serious issues. The other parent was arrested out of state for an alleged domestic assault involving their significant other, and this occurred during their scheduled parenting time. There is public documentation of the arrest. The criminal case apparently did not proceed after the significant other declined to pursue it.
The co-parenting relationship is also extremely high-conflict, which is why I try to keep communication in writing and focused strictly on our child.
I’m considering asking the court to modify the schedule so the custody order actually reflects the parenting arrangement that’s occurring in real life. I’m not looking to prevent my child from having a relationship with the other parent. My main goal is stability and having a predictable schedule instead of constantly changing a supposedly 50/50 arrangement.
For people who have been through something similar:
Did a court care about the difference between the custody order and the actual number of overnights?
How much weight did a documented history of one parent repeatedly giving up their parenting time carry?
Did an arrest/domestic violence incident involving the other parent matter even if it didn’t result in a conviction?
Has anyone successfully gone from 50/50 to something closer to 60/40, 65/35, 70/30, or primary custody under similar circumstances?
What evidence ended up being the most important?
I’m especially interested in hearing from people who actually went through a custody modification, as opposed to just general opinions.
Obviously I’ll be speaking with an attorney and won’t treat Reddit as legal advice. I’m mainly curious how similar situations played out for other parents.

My wife cheated on me and we separated two months ago. The house is always a mess i mean dishes piled up for days trash all over the house clothes and food all over. Food will be left out for days on end. The other day there was a pizza box left over for probably a week and maggots where in it when i threw it out finally. Bathrooms constantly horrible and smelly like poop and urine. For the last year i was the only one that cleaned and took care of the kids while she laid in bed depressed refusing to get help. I moved in with family after she told she cheated. About a month ago she went to the mental hospital for trying to harm herself. She found a new man there and is currently in love with him. About two weeks ago he went to jail for being drunk and spitting on a cop. She told me he’s an alcoholic and drug addict. Said she was done with him because she knows he isn’t good for the kids. Well last saturday she told me she’s still dating him and that he’s changed and yada yada. She want 50/50 week on week off. So she can” go be adventures and live life cause she’s not only a mother” her words. Since she got out of the mental hospital she would tell me every-time i came over to see my kids that she was doing better and doing more for the kids. The only thing different she’s been doing is getting our daughter up for school and packing a lunch for her which has been a lunch-able every day since school started and some other snacks. I don’t know if it’s smart of me to go for full custody or if i’d be risking losing them and only having them on the weekends. What do yall think? I’m just worried about the kinds of men she will bring around my children cause she clearly isn’t thinking about them. I’m also worried that she won’t keep the house clean either.

I just recently filed for emergency custody and a motion to show cause/contempt for my ex not abiding to our parenting agreement which was established in April 2026. Im afraid bc I don't have an attorney and cannot afford one. My ex has a lawyer. I need to prepare for court and be able to answer the judge as to what the emergency is and why I should have them consider my request.

My issues are mainly an accumulation of concerns and worries that I have had for over a year now. My 3 y/o son lives mainly with his dad ever since I had a psychotic episode in January 2025. The courts and GAL were so focused on my mental health that they didn't pay attention to my concerns of his dad being an alcoholic, drinking and driving and speeding with our son in the car. He has a history of felonious assault and spent 2 years in prison. He has anger problems and is impossible to have a normal conversation with. He has lied multiple times in court and on medical and school questioners and evaluations. He continues to report that our son is a typical child even though it has already been determined that he suffers from speech delay, social and emotional delay, and development delay and requires and IEP. I have proof of all these things I just never had the support from anyone in the courts to present my concerns about his father. I refuse to watch my son suffer from his father's poor parenting and communications. Skills any longer! How do I explain these things in court properly in order for the judge to consider and further investigate my cause and reason for concerns. Im mainly concerned about physical abuse , emotional neglect and failure to thrive in his father's home. How do I present my case properly and my evedience to prove his dad is a terrible parent and that they should consider giving me temporary custody?!

I want to drop the domestic violence charges against my ex-husband. I provided a lot of evidence to the police while I was angry and overwhelmed, but I still love him and I’m scared that he could go to jail. I don’t wish him any harm.

What is the best way to tell the prosecutor that I don’t want to pursue the case? Is there anything I can say or do that could help them accept an Affidavit of Non-Prosecution and possibly close the case without contradicting my previous statements or giving me subpoena?
Please help. I’m very confused about what to do.

What can happen if I violate the ATROS?
Active DVRO, the courts gave me sole legal and physical custody with a two week vacation, and granted him visitation twice a week with no overnights. He’s been holding me hostage using the ATROS and every loophole he can use.
My dad had a stroke and I’m just losing my mind I haven’t been able to see my family in our of state for two years.
I consulted several attorneys and 8 out of 10 told me that the court order supersedes the initial ATROS.
He’s doing everything he can to drag this out and I don’t see an end of it.
I’m losing my mind I haven’t been able to see my family in a long time.

If I say, fck you, I’m going to see my parents, what can happen?
Thank you!

As the title reads. I have filed a motion to relocate my 5 yr old daughter. Currently, I have sole physical and joint legal. The father sees her every other weekend and we have alternating holidays. The proposed long distance schedule wouldn’t lessen his time with our daughter. It would just be structured differently. My husband accepted a job offer at UC Berkeley. This was a position he couldn’t just let slide. We will be provided free housing (3bd, 1 bath) and the job itself would pay roughly $25k more than the one he has now. I think overall, it would improve her quality of life and she already has an established residency primarily with me. I take care of her day to day needs/wants.

I feel fairly positive about this motion but of course I am scared. Anyone have positive experience with relocating?

If I have a plain document written up stating I have my child Monday through Friday and alternate weekends and the other parent has them the other weekends, we both dated and signed and witness signed can I simply take that to a family law lawyer and that’s that on the custody arrangements.

We separated and divorced when youngest was one year old. I have had sole legal the entire time. He has day visits four days a month and only sees the youngest. He frequently misses visits unless there are court hearings pending. Youngest just started kindergarten. He is not active with her medical care or much of anything.

Lots of verbal and financial abuse and a whole lot of bullying/allegations of controlling behavior on my part from him. Oldest and I have been in therapy since separation nearly four years ago.

Lots of suspicions over the last year from myself (RN with AuDHD) and from specialists for other issues that she is on the spectrum. Kindergarten teacher just confirmed same suspicions 3 weeks into kindergarten and recommended formal testing and her willingness to provide information to providers. I informed dad who became defensive and demanded to know details. (Dad typically tries to argue about any care that might translate into cost, but lacks the authority to say no and I ensure that needs are documented by professionals prior to proceeding.)

He is on the list at school with only a note that he cannot pick her up without my expressed consent. Dad is demanding that I provide communications, contact info, etc. He wasn’t sure what grade she was going into a month ago. I informed him that he had access to the school and referred him directly to them, now says that I’m denying him information by referring him to the source. (He knows what school she attends, so the phone number is one Google search away.)

I believe the gold standard is that parents both communicate with educators directly, and by doing so he is not able to force additional communication with me AND he has unfiltered communication with the source.

My priorities are my daughter’s best interest and protecting me from communication that is unnecessary and possibly abusive.

Am I wrong, here?

hi , my sons father now has supervised visits with our son with a professional agency . our court ordered says that I am to notify him of the dr appointments, but didn’t say if he’s allowed to attend or not . he attended last time and was kicked out of our sons dr appointment.. . now that he has visits with a professional at a center , is he allowed to attend the appointments ? I do not feel comfortable having his supervisor at my sons appointment

I (27) have been with my soon to be ex husband (34) since I was 18. Fresh out of high school. I had my first child at 20. And my second child at 21. We bought a house together one month before we married. When I was 22, we got married. He immediately turned very abusive but I never reported it. I was willing to endure. But i have voice recordings of him yelling at me and calling me names and texts backing up any emotional abuse claims. When I was 24, he kicked me out and accused me of cheating even though i was a SAHM with no car. I have been homeless since. Ive begged to come back. Last year I ended up in a mental health facility due to mental stress of being homeless and just not having my kids anymore. He doesnt let me see them. Im not even allowed back in my home. I just now got a job making minimum wage. He makes $50/hr. He finally got a lawyer, some incredibly bougie lawyer from out of state, and I dont even have a car. I cant afford one. I cant even afford shelter of my own. I couch hop and have been.

What do I do? His lawyer called me today but I was at work. Im out of time to save for my own lawyer. Im on wait lists for a pro bono one state provides. Im out of time. I have to do things on my own now.

Am I going to have to pay for child support? That will literally end my life.

Just found out my ex got into a shoving match with her sickly mother in the bathroom in front of our 5 year old, which resulted in her mother falling into the bathtub and soiling herself then told our child not to tell me because my coparent is afraid I’ll call the police.

Ex and I share 50-50 of our 5 year old. Initially it wasn’t that way when we got divorced because she used breastfeeding and unemployment as a way to keep primary custody when our child was 1.

Come to find out she lied about both of those and without an attorney, I was able to prove it at a custody trial when the child was 3 and secure 50-50 physical despite her attempts to take 100%. She’s on record at the courts in our judgments as a deceiver who won’t even defend herself when presented with said lies.

Despite loosing primary custody and 90% of her weekly C.S. she continues to actively cause waves and refuse to engage in any communication or attempts to co-parent unless I’m saying “yes”.

She communicates nothing to me if our child is sick, causing issues, ect. The only thing she goes out of her way to tell me is that she takes my child down to visit my abusive father. Mind you I’ve never introduced my child to him, and my ex met him twice in our 6 year relationship/marriage.

She’s on court record of having hot sauced our child at age 2, she let our child climb onto a hot motorcycle at age 1 when she was giving her now ex-boyfriend attention (then shoved me off a sidewalk the next day) and forced our child at ages 2 and 3 to sleep on the floor of her boyfriend room so they could do whatever.

I thought losing primary custody would force her to cooperate and do what’s best for our child, but she continuously acts like a vengeful teenager when things don’t go her way. Now she’s assaulted her parent in front of our child and encouraging our child to lie to me about it.

I don’t know what to do, I feel like if I sit back and see how it plays out I’m an enabler of her continued bad behavior. Do I take her back to court and see if they force her to get mental treatment for her anger and unresolved emotional problems? This is someone who very much has never processed anything. She causes chaos and gets in her car and never looks back. But now she’s encouraging our child to be deceitful. When I brought this up to her in text messages, she did what she always does, ignores me and doesn’t respond.