Hostile e-mail from ex in laws to pay more child support, feels like extortion.
Some key points:
Divorced in Tennessee 7 years ago, mother of children moved to Florida shortly after divorce. Child support set at $900 and 50% of medical
I intended to follow but financial struggles from divorce (and emotional) I started doing some travel contract gigs and kinda went down a dark path. Currently in Vermont and sober 3 years and met a community I needed for a long time and a wonderful girlfriend.
Past 7 years ex has never asked for money or medical bills. (she’s a nurse practitioner, and pretty sure she has a trust fund). I assumed she never needed anything and an extra few hundred a month to her is like a Spotify subscription for me.
2 Daughters age 12 and 9 came and visited me and met GF in June. It was the first person I introduced them to. I was late half the support in July and paid it all at the beginning of August.
I get an email from Ex in laws saying starting Sept 1st I need To pay $1,900 a month, and when the oldest gets braces pay $2000. (After taxes I make $4,100). He wrote he doesn’t care if I have to pick up extra shifts or get a second job, It’s **“**non-negotiable”. And not doing this would results in the hiring of the best legal representation, and how they would go after $28,000 of costs by me not utilizing my 86 days a year. (I have been living in pretty run down 1 bed room apartments and always flew to Florida and airbnb several times a year when vacation hours and scheduling allowed). The email said this would be a “monumental mistake” and it would be wise to comply.
Honestly, if my ex just asked I would have totally given her some extra money or to help with a bill. She has a very wealthy family and I just thought she didn’t want to interact with me. I did reply to the email and asked if he wanted this to be signed off my a judge or if it was a handshake and he said a “verbal handshake will be enough as long as I’m complying with the request”.
Honestly, the last court thing was traumatizing, having money worked in their daughter’s favor and she was able to move to Florida after having cashed in parts of my retirement to pay for the lawyer bill. I am fine being fair, and paying my fair share, but the math they used to come up with $1900 included expenses like her mortgage.
I am worried knowing he can drop $30,000 on a lawyers desk and basically say “make him hurt” and intentionally rack up a bill if I hire a lawyer to where I’m financially hurting. He can light $30,000 on fire and wouldn’t lose a second of sleep, I am pay check to pay check.
I plan on talking to a lawyer before I reply to him, so If someone knows someone in FL that will give me a consultation and would be fair and not try to battle this juggernaut of wealth… I’d appreciate it. (I’ll even pay a few hundred just to talk to a lawyer for an hour to see what’s about to happen) please send me a DM.
I am pretty scared and just don’t want to go through some emotional stressful battle and rack up thousands in bills because his lawyer is intentionally trying to cause me financial pain by requesting depositions and records, changing custody wording and nights etc… I thought me and my ex were on much better terms than in 2021/2022. I’m way more involved with my kids as much as I can be with FaceTime and them coming to see me and I feel like this has shattered a lot of the positive direction I was going.
Anyway, this feels like a bully coming up and saying “give me $500 or I’ll put you in the hospital and make you pay $5,000”