any coping tactics?
it is very difficult for me to look at buildings, people, animals and relatives, knowing that all of this will not exist in a few decades. it's like everything around me is triggering and rotting. old games, posts, dates, historical events — literally everything. It's hard to even do basic things like working or gaming or drawing because of this mindset, and i can't overcome it no matter how hard i try. i constantly imagine my death in old age, particular moment, and it terrifies me. i can't help but think about it, because then my brain seems to say, "yeah, you're trying to avoid or hide from the problem!". i try to calm myself down with the thoughts that "well, maybe humanity will come up with something in the future," or "maybe it will be easier in old age," but this only moves me further down the spiraling and ruminating, cuz "no, this is impossible and just sci-fi. more realistically, we will all die from global warming in 10 years". but yeah, both non-existence and immortality sounds equally awful. ugh. reincarnation and the fact that i'm living through the same events and diseases not for the first time gives me derealization.
it often amazes me how people around are so calm about all this. i feel so wrong. does anyone have any advice on how to cope with this condition? i've already tried a bunch of meds, and they take away the physical symptoms and panic attacks, but not the thoughts and lack of motivation because of "it's all will rot anyway".