Crying and reminiscing over Porridge
I’m obsessed with when I was a child. I can’t help but keep thinking and talking about when I was a little girl and my mum would wake me up with a bowl of porridge she would make for me every single morning without a fail. I genuinely think the day she stopped making me my morning porridge, my eating disorder began.
When I had to wake up for school and decide what to eat, things went to shit from there.
The other day I was in full blown uncontrollable tears in the supermarket because me and my mum went there and she pointed at the porridge oats she used to get for me as a child and said “I remember making them for you every morning!”
I told her why I was crying and said I miss being a child and having no fear of eating that porridge. She made me a bowl for dinner in the Disney princess bowl I used to eat it in and I literally felt like I was 6 again.
Am I insane for just wanting to be as childlike as possible? I just want my mums affection and for her to look after me. Does this illness make anyone else this way?