u/swan43464

I fully submitted to him for the first time. We've been married for over 15 years and are stable and happy. He did everything right. No lines crossed. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I want more. I can't stop thinking about it.

But now all the trauma from past toxic D/s dynamics has resurfaced. I can't concentrate and I haven't been able to eat all day. I thought I had healed because those relationships were over 20 years ago. I don't know how to tell him. Anxiety is through the roof.

I want this. I want him to lead. I don't know where to go from here. I don't want him to back off because I'm crumbling.