u/sweetlittleebaby — reddlx

▲ 21 r/ChildLoss

This is not a self harm post

I jumped off of something. Not super high. Not super low either.

I guess I just wanted to know what it feels like. To feel something other than sadness.

To experience pain that’s physical. Measured. Real. Instead of this endless emotional anguish.

To fall and actually hit the bottom, instead of this free fall we’re all in.

It hurt. I’m fine. And now I can walk home thinking about how bad my feet hurt, instead of my heart.

Missing you always, Charlie.

Love, mama 🤍

reddit.com

u/sweetlittleebaby — 11 days ago

▲ 54 r/ChildLoss

First Birthday Apart

On Wednesday, my little boy turns 12. Twelve, it marks such a close end to childhood, a jumpstart into the teens, and for some cruel reasons I’ll never understand, we just couldn’t make it there together.

I know, as I’m typing this and sobbing my eyes out, that I’ll be spending most of the day in a heap. But in the moments I’m not, I’ll be setting up his resting place, filling it with treasured belongings, his favorite treats, and an open invitation for friends and loved ones to leave him a card.

He was the sweetest, funniest, wittiest gentle giant a mommy could ever ask for. I miss his sarcasm, dry humor, and intellectualism so much.

I hate that I won’t see my baby on his special day and how much it’s going to rip me apart

u/sweetlittleebaby — 2 months ago

▲ 47 r/ChildLoss

Thoughts for today

You might see me going out today and think I’m doing fine
You might see me flash a laugh or smile, and feel happy that I’m trying
But there’s a little piece that no one sees after a child you loves been dying
In every single thing I do a part of me is crying

reddit.com

u/sweetlittleebaby — 3 months ago

▲ 31 r/ChildLoss

Something small

My younger son’s face unlocks his late brother’s phone. It makes me smile. I know I can’t impose his personality on him or conflate two children, but a part of me prays (not sure to who right now) that the similarity will stick and that I might get to see the 11 year old boy I lost again in just 4 short years. And that in some way, through his brother, I might get to see him grow.

reddit.com

u/sweetlittleebaby — 3 months ago