u/teenageidle

I've been enjoying this chain for over a decade. It's super close to my house, they have a great selection of movies, and the food and service USED to be excellent.

But now, I'm noticing not only is the QR code nonsense a problem, it's the general theater population too. Yes, there have always been obnoxious theater-goers, but it's really gotten worse lately since they've gotten more corporate and generic.

The theater chain used to attract more serious movie-goers and lovers, but now I almost always only reserve seats on evenings or nights when it'll be nearly empty, lest I have to listen to everyone next to me whisper (we can HEAR YOU whispering and it's even more annoying), shriek, giggle to their friends/partner and basically act like a complete moron who cannot shut their trap for 1-2 hours. It feels more like an AMC crowd, even at cool indie releases, and it's such a shame.

The "no talking" warnings are also totally or mostly ineffective, and no one seems to care (or be paid enough to care) to monitor guests. I miss the "SHUT UP WE'RE SERIOUS" energy they had before, and because there's no consequences, people have learned it's all a gimmick at this point.

Is this happening at yours too?

I'm three weeks into being discarded and it's brutal. I gave and gave. I understood. I loved. I empathized. I made excuses. I keep crying out of nowhere. I'm trying so hard to heal and focus on myself, but the pain is excruciating. I have to keep stopping myself from blaming myself, because aside from overextend, I know I did nothing wrong.

The thing that's so difficult to process is: the love we had was real. That OTHER person inside them was real. Not a mask. Not a facade. A real human part of them. And that's what hooks us, isn't it? Gradually over time, our defenses slowly fade as they let us in more and more, give us glimpses of that beautiful person they can be, make us feel special and wanted and chosen.

But sadly, avoidants really are like two different people: the loving part of them that I mourn and grieve and talk to sometimes as I cry myself to sleep and imagine comforting me, the "real them" I thought I saw or wanted to see, and the cold, callous, selfish avoidant part that seems to always win in the end. The one who pushes me away with no remorse and doesn't care that I'm sobbing and in so much pain.

The person I don't recognize. The person I never thought could hurt me like this. It's agonizing, isn't it? Grieving a fragmented person. It's beyond disorienting.