My family made fun of me for being manic on my 14th birthday.
This is an old memory, but one that I've only come to terms with recently. This was around the time I became symptomatic, but before I was diagnosed. I've felt deeply self-conscious about my voice ever since.
It was my 14th birthday and I had just arrived home from school. I wasn't expecting anything but my aunts, uncles, and cousins surprised me with a cake. I was very excited. I didn't have anyone to talk to all day at school, so I was a jittery mess. I was very talkative. My voice is kind of high and even more so when I'm excited. I started talking a mile a minute. Little did I know, one of my cousins had been recording me the whole time. She played back my conversation and everyone laughed at how high my voice was and how fast I was talking. I just stood there while everyone laughed at me. They knew I was having a hard time and that I'd been in a psychiatric ward the previous school year.
I cut the prettiest piece of cake. A piece with a big pink rose. When I went to get a glass of milk someone took it. I had to go back to school and sell tickets for the school play with girls who picked on me. My mom came to pick me up after she got off work and I wish she had been there to stand up for me. She's one of the only people in my family who tries to understand me.