u/tellmeimprettay

Hi everyone, I really need an outside perspective on this because my boyfriend is telling me I’m "acting like a child," and I feel completely gaslit . My boyfriend told me last year of the same event bbq that happened yesterday- if I didn't go with him to a BBQ party at his friends' house, he would break up with me. Because I would “embarrass him because he already told them I was going” So last year I forced myself to go . So I thought he’d say the same thing this year so I went again . I suffer from severe social anxiety and depression. His friends are actually a very nice married couple, but I don't know them well yet and explicitly told him I was not comfortable sleeping over at their house, and this has to do with my mental health condition not everyone understands. It affects me - especially since I wouldn't have any of my things.
To get me to agree to come, he promised me we would take the 12:30 AM train home. I trusted him and spent 70$ on an Uber just to get out there to be with him. He was already sleeping over there so I had to arrive on my own. And I had a feeling he’d try sleeping there again so I set boundaries and told him how I felt about sleeping over other peoples houses And he said don’t worry we won’t
When I arrived, my phone was glitching and I was struggling to find him. When I called him for help, he got mad at his directions over the phone, saying, "cross the fucking street, it’s not that hard," which immediately sent my anxiety into overdrive.
Later that night, he intentionally missed the last train home on purpose. He then admitted to me that he lied about leaving at 12:30 AM just so I would come, because he knew if he told me the truth about sleeping there, I wouldn't have gone. He literally overrode my boundaries and i felt unprepared and uncomfortable and in the morning i looked like hell, I even felt like throwing up because I drank to help my social anxiety.
I woke up this morning feeling completely stuck, dirty, unprepared, and deeply uncomfortable. The married couple were so nice and welcoming but it’s the fact I suffer from severe social anxiety and I barely know them . He knew them for over twenty years so he didn’t have an issue. To make matters worse, the house has an active security alarm, so I can't even leave on my own without setting it off. When I tried to wake him up this morning to take the 830 am train like he promised when he decided we’d sleep there so , he refused to get up, told me to stop "acting like a child," and went back to sleep to ignore me We ended up taking that train home but I’m still furious.
I feel so incredibly manipulated, disrespected, and hurt. He thinks I'm throwing a tantrum over nothing and being immature, but I feel like my trust was completely broken.
AITA for being furious about not wanting to crash at another persons home After a night of partying ? No. He also constantly follows thirst traps on IG and once told me if I don’t delete my IG he will break up with me and they mostly are BBL bandits