u/thatgingerfella

I (31NB) got made redundant from a job I enjoyed in the streaming industry about 2 years ago now. Unemployment rinsed me, it took me way too long to find a job, and when I got an offer I had no choice but to take it, despite my gut feeling knowing I didn't want it.

I didn't really do the work on learning about myself and my INFP tendencies when I was younger, but now I am, it's so obvious as to all the reasons this job makes me miserable. It aligns with none of my values, there's nothing creative or human about it, it's meaningless to me - and the way I feel things as an INFP means every day I have this horrible feeling like I've been stabbed in the stomach. I spend most of the day dreaming of something better.

I don't think I'm the kind of person who can just put up with a shit 9 to 5, I need a job with at least some meaning to me.

Caveat: Outside of work, I do have things I enjoy doing. I'm playing music at local jams, DJing with my pals, I go hiking and running with a club. I'd like to find more to do but at least my life outside work isn't empty.

The issue I have is I don't have any special skills really. I am a good public speaker and used to be a student radio host for a few years (maybe weird for an INFP). I have always wanted to work in music or radio, and I tried to break into them for years in my 20s but had no luck. If I could find something in radio or podcasting I think I'd be happy. I would love to retrain in something more creative, like art therapy, photography, yoga instructor, or ceramics, but I don't have the financial runway or free time to support myself through study.

At the moment it feels like my only option is to swallow this awful job until something better comes along. I'm putting applications in for things I do value (environment agency, local museums, etc) but at the moment I feel like I'm suffocating.

Does anyone have advice for things I can do to start moving towards something better, instead of just hoping a better opportunity comes along?