Response if/when asked?
TLDR: What do you do or say when someone new asks or brings up about you being posted on these groups?
Full story: I was posted on AWDTSG in early 2024 by one woman who remains anonymous, butthurt I didn’t continue talking to her, never met. The following comments were either women defending me saying “sounds like he was just weighing his options like anyone” and the others were two women I do know who I turned down for someone I chose to pursue a relationship with; clearly bitter.
When that relationship ended, my ex went right on there and stirred the pot. I may have deserved some of it, but not all and certainly not the cruel or untrue comments. She deleted her comments not long after likely knowing so much of it was untrue. That’s when I found out about all of the posts/comments and it sent me spiraling. Depression resulting in medication, I’m in therapy weekly still, I started going to church, and I hadn’t been seeing anyone… turning down any options going on 9 months now.
I recently started seeing someone; it’s very new, but she’s a no nonsense, incredible woman. Honestly the best most loving and professional person I’ve ever met. Definitely not someone who engages in this type of stuff, but I am so terrified that one of her friends may look me up once things are a little more “public.”
The other day I posted a vague “soft launch” of sorts on my IG stories. No names or identifying things… just a date we went on. And within the day someone resurfaced my post anonymously to say I was a red flag with no notes or comments or stories. I have access to the group and alerts on to get notified. I’m baffled because I’ve not spoken to or entertained a single person for months, so someone clearly posted that out of spite because of my IG story so I’m combing through my follows to see.
My question if you’ve made it this far, do you tell people and hope you don’t lose them? Don’t tell them and pretend you don’t know? If or when it comes up, how do you explain? Especially if it’s someone who doesn’t know this toxic world and thinks it will be a stressor that she doesn’t want in her life?
Im terrified and heartbroken that even when I’m correcting my life and doing the work to fix anything that may be broken, that there is no defense for someone to be so cruel in an attempt to poison the well.
Vent over.