r/AWDTSGisToxic

As title says, if you have access to the Boston group, please message me. I have the exact post URL, all you need to do is input it into your browser and let me know if it brings you to a valid post or if it redirects to a “this content isn’t available at the moment” page (i.e. Facebook’s standard 404 page). Am willing to send a few bucks your way for just a few minutes of your time.

I have a group I joined discreetly with 98k members. I see people have exposed list all the time but the only way I can imagine doing it is via scraping in the browser console and have it auto scroll. Do people have other methods and is my method going to get me banned?

Has anyone actually had dating success after being posted in one of these groups?

I have not dated in over a year because of it. My last date admitted she had someone post me to ask for tea. It brought up another woman I went out with once who was aggressive the entire date, so I ended it early. She apparently told a completely different story about me and it honestly freaked me out. I deleted the apps and thought meeting someone in person would be safer, but I see women posting guys they barely talked to at games or events too.

I know this has gotten into my head, but now I wonder if female friends have seen posts about me or if anyone I meet will immediately search for me. I have even thought about therapy, but part of me worries the therapist would look me up too (and if a woman, even more). Has anyone gotten past this or started dating normally again? I just give up in general.

Hey everyone, I could really use some advice here.

I was in a relationship that ended about two months ago. It didn’t work out, and we went our separate ways. Unfortunately, my ex has always been a very jealous person, and since the breakup it feels like she’s been on a mission to damage my reputation and personal life.

I recently found out (through a girl I know) that my ex has been posting about me in those “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” Facebook groups and on the Tea app as well. I don’t have access to any of those groups or apps, so I can’t actually see what’s being said.

The girl who told me about it didn’t show me screenshots or anything, but she mentioned enough details that made it clear the posts are real. From what I understand, it’s painting me in a a very bad way, and I’m worried this is now affecting my chances of meeting somebody.

I’m honestly frustrated because I don’t even have the ability to defend myself or see exactly what’s being said.

So I have a few questions:

• Is there any way to get access to these groups or posts if I’m not a member?
• What’s the best way to get something like this taken down?
• Has anyone dealt with something similar, and how did you handle it?

I’m not trying to escalate things—I just want this to stop and move on with my life.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

UPDATE 07/03/26**:**

After about 3 days of digging and trying, I was finally able to get access to my local FB group and the Tea app and actually see the posts.

Honestly… it’s crazy the amount of negativity and straight-up misery she’s putting out about me. This is no joke.

I’m really glad I took action and didn’t just ignore it.

Right now I’m working on getting the posts taken down. I’ll keep you guys updated on how that goes.

UPDATE 07/03/26**:**

Since I've infiltrated myself into those groups, I've got the links of my posts, they are both anonymous.

1. I have submitted a tea app content takedown request, you can find it on their website, also submitted a DCMA complaint other their email.

2. Submitted a DMCA complaint on Fb website with the link attached

Guys, it's no joke in my city AWDSG fb group, there are 90k members and average 200 posts a day...

I'll keep you posted on how this goes.

As expected, professional beggar Paola has for the third time increased her “cushion” goal. From 8k, to 11k, to 13k, to now 16k.

How long will she keep this goalpost moving? Now double her initial beg? Women still think this creature is virtuous and noble? Being conned before our eyes….

TLDR: What do you do or say when someone new asks or brings up about you being posted on these groups?

Full story: I was posted on AWDTSG in early 2024 by one woman who remains anonymous, butthurt I didn’t continue talking to her, never met. The following comments were either women defending me saying “sounds like he was just weighing his options like anyone” and the others were two women I do know who I turned down for someone I chose to pursue a relationship with; clearly bitter.

When that relationship ended, my ex went right on there and stirred the pot. I may have deserved some of it, but not all and certainly not the cruel or untrue comments. She deleted her comments not long after likely knowing so much of it was untrue. That’s when I found out about all of the posts/comments and it sent me spiraling. Depression resulting in medication, I’m in therapy weekly still, I started going to church, and I hadn’t been seeing anyone… turning down any options going on 9 months now.

I recently started seeing someone; it’s very new, but she’s a no nonsense, incredible woman. Honestly the best most loving and professional person I’ve ever met. Definitely not someone who engages in this type of stuff, but I am so terrified that one of her friends may look me up once things are a little more “public.”

The other day I posted a vague “soft launch” of sorts on my IG stories. No names or identifying things… just a date we went on. And within the day someone resurfaced my post anonymously to say I was a red flag with no notes or comments or stories. I have access to the group and alerts on to get notified. I’m baffled because I’ve not spoken to or entertained a single person for months, so someone clearly posted that out of spite because of my IG story so I’m combing through my follows to see.

My question if you’ve made it this far, do you tell people and hope you don’t lose them? Don’t tell them and pretend you don’t know? If or when it comes up, how do you explain? Especially if it’s someone who doesn’t know this toxic world and thinks it will be a stressor that she doesn’t want in her life?

Im terrified and heartbroken that even when I’m correcting my life and doing the work to fix anything that may be broken, that there is no defense for someone to be so cruel in an attempt to poison the well.

Vent over.

Please mass report! Calgary Main Groups - Very Toxic

https://www.facebook.com/groups/637300947744833/

Why This Specific Group(s) Needs to Be Reported Immediately:

Fabricated Criminal Accusations: Users hiding behind the "Anonymous Member" shield are using the platform to publicly fabricate severe, indictable criminal offenses against men including completely made-up, detailed claims of long-term physical stalking, claims they are pushy or abusive. This creates real-world physical safety risks and puts targets on men's backs.

Serial Multi-Target Harassment: The same anonymous accounts (such as a user currently cycling through randomly assigned system handles are routinely making severe unverified claims, doxxing dating profile photos, and launching back-to-back smear campaigns against multiple different men in the local community within days of each other.

Organized Tracking & Link Aggregation: The group members are actively building archives of past threads. They are weaponizing and sharing direct tracking links to older, historical posts to bypass individual boundaries, bypass platform blocks, and maximize public humiliation.

Mockery of Law Enforcement: When targets explicitly request that the defamation stop or notify group members that police reports are being filed, members explicitly screenshot those warnings to publicly mock law enforcement and coordinate further group bullying.

How You Can Help Fight Back (Call to Action):

If you have a Facebook account, please take 2 minutes to report the group directly to Meta to help trigger an automated review and get this toxicity flagged.

Go to Facebook and search for both: https://www.facebook.com/groups/637300947744833/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/637300947744833/

Click the three dots (...) near the top right of the group's main page.

Select Report Group.

Choose Harassment or Bullying -> Targeted Harassment, or select False Information / Sharing Private Information (Doxxing).

Submit the report.

We need to keep pushing back against the systemic abuse of these anonymity features. The more unique user reports Meta receives about this specific regional group, the higher the likelihood of a platform-wide crackdown or total removal.

Thanks for standing together. Stay safe out there.

Woman here. There is someone on Tea that only posts MAGA/Republican/Conservative men. She does this because research has shown that men who vote that way are more likely to abuse women. To be fair, she only posts men with actual evidence of domestic violence or other abuse and she does come with receipts.

Personally, I would not date a MAGA/Republican/Conservative and I have read those studies that say they are more likely to be abusive. Another reason I can understand her doing this is that MAGA/Republican/Conservative men are increasingly hiding their politics on dating apps because women increasingly are saying they won't date them.

I have seen comments on here from men who do understand and agree that the original purpose of Tea was to warn women about abusive men, so I am curious about opinions on this.

Hey everyone,

I am writing this to ask for your help in reporting the Are We Dating The Same Guy? | Ottawa / Kingston / Cornwall / Ontario Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/811443220000640

This specific group has completely escalated past "dating safety" and is being actively used to run coordinated character assassination campaigns, spread malicious falsehoods, and permanently damage lives.

Why This Specific Group Needs to Be Reported Immediately:

• Fabricated Criminal Accusations: Users hiding behind the "Anonymous Member" shield are using the platform to publicly fabricate severe, indictable criminal offenses against men—including completely made-up, detailed claims of long-term physical stalking, claims they are pushy or abusive. This creates real-world physical safety risks and puts targets on men's backs.
• Serial Multi-Target Harassment: The same anonymous accounts (such as a user currently cycling through randomly assigned system handles are routinely making severe unverified claims, doxxing dating profile photos, and launching back-to-back smear campaigns against multiple different men in the local community within days of each other.
• Organized Tracking & Link Aggregation: The group members are actively building archives of past threads. They are weaponizing and sharing direct tracking links to older, historical posts to bypass individual boundaries, bypass platform blocks, and maximize public humiliation.
• Mockery of Law Enforcement: When targets explicitly request that the defamation stop or notify group members that police reports are being filed, members explicitly screenshot those warnings to publicly mock law enforcement and coordinate further group bullying.

How You Can Help Fight Back (Call to Action):

If you have a Facebook account, please take 2 minutes to report the group directly to Meta to help trigger an automated review and get this toxicity flagged.

1. Go to Facebook and search for: Are We Dating The Same Guy? | Ottawa / Kingston / Cornwall / Ontario, https://www.facebook.com/groups/811443220000640
2. Click the three dots (...) near the top right of the group's main page.
3. Select Report Group.
4. Choose Harassment or Bullying -> Targeted Harassment, or select False Information / Sharing Private Information (Doxxing).
5. Submit the report.

We need to keep pushing back against the systemic abuse of these anonymity features. The more unique user reports Meta receives about this specific regional group, the higher the likelihood of a platform-wide crackdown or total removal.

Thanks for standing together. Stay safe out there.

Please mass report these groups as well - New York Main Group and South Florida Groups.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/489627572708738

 https://www.facebook.com/groups/340985311306448

Why This Specific Group(s) Needs to Be Reported Immediately:

• Fabricated Criminal Accusations: Users hiding behind the "Anonymous Member" shield are using the platform to publicly fabricate severe, indictable criminal offenses against men—including completely made-up, detailed claims of long-term physical stalking, claims they are pushy or abusive. This creates real-world physical safety risks and puts targets on men's backs.
• Serial Multi-Target Harassment: The same anonymous accounts (such as a user currently cycling through randomly assigned system handles are routinely making severe unverified claims, doxxing dating profile photos, and launching back-to-back smear campaigns against multiple different men in the local community within days of each other.
• Organized Tracking & Link Aggregation: The group members are actively building archives of past threads. They are weaponizing and sharing direct tracking links to older, historical posts to bypass individual boundaries, bypass platform blocks, and maximize public humiliation.
• Mockery of Law Enforcement: When targets explicitly request that the defamation stop or notify group members that police reports are being filed, members explicitly screenshot those warnings to publicly mock law enforcement and coordinate further group bullying.

How You Can Help Fight Back (Call to Action):

If you have a Facebook account, please take 2 minutes to report the group directly to Meta to help trigger an automated review and get this toxicity flagged.

1. Go to Facebook and search for both: https://www.facebook.com/groups/489627572708738

 https://www.facebook.com/groups/340985311306448

1. Click the three dots (...) near the top right of the group's main page.
2. Select Report Group.
3. Choose Harassment or Bullying -> Targeted Harassment, or select False Information / Sharing Private Information (Doxxing).
4. Submit the report.

We need to keep pushing back against the systemic abuse of these anonymity features. The more unique user reports Meta receives about this specific regional group, the higher the likelihood of a platform-wide crackdown or total removal.

Thanks for standing together. Stay safe out there.

Hey everybody, I’m newly single and I’m looking to get back on the dating apps, but I’m a little hesitant because I’ve learned that there are Facebook groups called. Are we dating the same guy where women will post your photo to tens of thousands of people to ask questions and judge you.

I’ve been with the same woman for the last 8 years, so I have no bad history that could come out, I just don’t really use social media and have no interest in being scrutinized or posted in front of thousands of people

I’m curious what men are doing to avoid being posted on these groups if there’s anything you can do at all

My ex definitely won’t be posting on there about me, we had a clean break up, neither one of us were cheating so nothing like that will come out

I just don’t know if I want to get on the apps simply because I just don’t want to have any of my personal information being chatted about with strangers on the Internet

To be honest, I think it’s kind of loser behavior, but I’m wondering if there’s guys that do anything to avoid women who hang out on there, or how I can avoid a woman who would be the type to post on there

I am sure something similar has been posted in the past but just wanted to share a recent victory of getting a post taken down.

This all started with a gal who randomly added me on Facebook. She started sending messages and I politely told her I was not interested. She ramped up her efforts and started stalking me on all social medias. She would go as far as making fake accounts after fake accounts. Her last attempt was through Linked-In. She then took my Linked-In profile picture (which is not on any other app, or social) and posted it to the AWDTSG page. I have never met this woman before. At this point she's just trying to destroy reputation because she was rejected. I usually don't let this stuff bother me, I've been posted before but at least for a legit reason haha.

She clearly must not have understood that Linked-In notifies you who exactly views your profile... and also where you work. Not a very intelligent move on her part. Turns out she is a nurse.

From what I have gathered, medical providers don't take too kindly to their employees, who have agreed to HIPPA policies, trying to doxxx men on the internet. I then sent a message to her and told her I would be reporting her to the medical provider that employs her. The post was taken down within 10 minutes of that message. Reported her anyway, hope she enjoys living under a bridge.

Need a search as my fake account not working.