u/the-more-deluded

My son goes to a big franchise daycare that boasts about its educational curriculum, STEM education, fine motor skills, and sensory activities. I knew that would mostly be bs, but is it normal to be complete bs?

Every day I get a report of what they did in class, but I know for a fact they don't do half of what the reports say. For example, it's "fire safety week" and the activities today were supposed to involve building firehouses out of blocks, making paper crafts, and having a discussion about the different things in a fire station. For the last activity, I saw his teacher take out the different pictures, spread them on a table, take a photo, and then put it all away immediately. I haven't seen them doing group crafts even once. My son is only 18 months old, so I don't expect much and I know the play and socialization aspect is more important. But is it normal to expect nothing?

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I just made a post today about my 17 month old not adjusting well to daycare. He goes to an in-home daycare with 5 kids 4 days a week. I guess I sensed the writing on the wall, because today our provider advised us that she will be terminating him in 2 weeks.

We got on the phone, and she explained that he cries for her attention almost constantly the entire time he's awake. He repeats himself over and over until she gives him attention. She expected to see more progress in 6 weeks but seems to be going backwards. She genuinely sounded heartbroken but said she thinks he just needs more attention than she can provide. She said it distresses her to see him so hysterical and he seems unhappy. This was a shock to me, because while he definitely cries at drop off and is eager for us to pick him up, he is perfectly fine the instant he gets home.

At home, he's definitely used to getting lots of personal attention but I don't carry him all day like she says he insists on. I believe her when she says he's relentless but he doesn't get frantic at home like she described. She says he basically is frantic until she picks him up, and it's untenable.

On the one hand, I feel for her bc she seems genuinely distressed that she can't calm him and feels like the other kids aren't getting enough time with her. On the other hand, I feel like 6 weeks is still early in the grand scheme of things. She said she's been in childcare for 5 years and has never seen anything like him. I don't know what to make of that.

As I mentioned in my other post, we tried everything. Books about daycare, a regimented morning, talking about daycare positively. We sent a lovey that she said he has zero interest in. He sleeps well and eats breakfast before I take him every day. He gets a lot of attention because he's an only child, but I don't bend to his every whim.

It feels bad to say, but I kind of feel like once he got comfortable with her, he realized that being the neediest kid would get him the most attention. Is that even possible for him to have figured out? I hesitate to suggest "tough love" i.e. making him wait no matter how much he cries, but maybe that will help him ease off?

At the end of the call, we essentially agreed to a "probation period" to see if he evens out in the next few weeks.

Has anyone ever dealt with a toddler who just couldn't acclimate? If he was truly miserable, I would have expected him to be more upset when we get in the car and crash or act out when we got home, but you would never know he spent the day crying. I would love to hear success stories and tips. A larger daycare sounds like it would be even worse for him, but maybe others have seen success going from a small facility to a larger one? I don't know what else to do for him and I'm desperate.

I just made a post today about my 17 month old not adjusting well to daycare. He goes to an in-home daycare with 5 kids 4 days a week. I guess I sensed the writing on the wall, because today our provider advised us that she will be terminating him in 2 weeks.

We got on the phone, and she explained that he cries for her attention almost constantly the entire time he's awake. He repeats himself over and over until she gives him attention. She expected to see more progress in 6 weeks but seems to be going backwards. She genuinely sounded heartbroken but said she thinks he just needs more attention than she can provide. She said it distresses her to see him so hysterical and he seems unhappy. This was a shock to me, because while he definitely cries at drop off and is eager for us to pick him up, he is perfectly fine the instant he gets home.

At home, he's definitely used to getting lots of personal attention but I don't carry him all day like she says he insists on. I believe her when she says he's relentless but he doesn't get frantic at home like she described. She says he basically is frantic until she picks him up, and it's untenable.

On the one hand, I feel for her bc she seems genuinely distressed that she can't calm him and feels like the other kids aren't getting enough time with her. On the other hand, I feel like 6 weeks is still early in the grand scheme of things. She said she's been in childcare for 5 years and has never seen anything like him. I don't know what to make of that.

As I mentioned in my other post, we tried everything. Books about daycare, a regimented morning, talking about daycare positively. He sleeps well and eat breakfast before I take him every day. He gets a lot of attention because he's an only child, but I don't bend to his every whim.

It feels bad to say, but I kind of feel like once he got comfortable with her, he realized that being the neediest kid would get him the most attention. Is that even possible for him to have figured out? I hesitate to suggest "tough love" i.e. making him wait no matter how much he cries, but maybe that will help him ease off?

At the end of the call, we essentially agreed to a "probation period" to see if he evens out in the next few weeks.

Has anyone ever dealt with a toddler who just couldn't acclimate? If he was truly miserable, I would have expected him to be more upset when we get in the car and crash or act out when we got home, but you would never know he spent the day crying. I would love to hear success stories and tips. A larger daycare sounds like it would be even worse for him, but maybe others have seen success going from a small facility to a larger one? I don't know what else to do for him and I'm desperate.

My 17-month old started daycare last month. It's a small in-home setting with five children. We're now heading into our third month of daycare, and my son is still struggling a lot with the transition. He attends 4 days a week consecutively.

So far, he has cried at every drop off. His teacher tells us that most days, he follows her around saying "up, up, up" asking to be held. He also fibs about needing a diaper change to trick her into picking him up. When she refuses (which, of course, she has to a lot of the time) he tantrums.

I don't know how to curb this behavior. He is an only child and gets a lot of one-on-one at home, and while I do pick him up when he asks sometimes, I don't indulge his every request. I know he's at the peak age for clinginess so I don't know if this is just something we need to ride out.

His teacher really seems to be trying her best, but I know it must be exhausting. She always tells us when he's having a bad day in a matter-of-fact way, but I don't know what, if anything, I should be doing. She's surprised at his level of determination to get what he wants (yeah, who are you telling!). When we go to pick him up, she's usually holding him or playing with him. He is doing everything he can to monopolize her attention.

For reference, we talk about daycare in a positive way. Before he started daycare, he regularly spent the day with family members, so he's used to being cared for by people other than my husband and myself. We read "Bye Bye Time", "Llama Llama Misses Mama", and "Mommy Always Come Back to You." He has a clone of his usual lovey that lives at daycare. He uses a sleep sack from home and I send his lunch so he eats familiar food. I try, at the expense of my sanity, to make every morning regimented and calm so he knows exactly what to expect.

I don't know what else to do, or if this is normal! I can't tell if his daycare teacher wants us to come up with solutions, but I don't know what else to do. I don't want to start refusing to pick him up altogether.

Hi moms! My 17-month old started daycare last month. It's a small in-home setting with five children. We're now heading into our third month of daycare, and my son is still struggling a lot with the transition. He attends 4 days a week consecutively.

So far, he has cried at every drop off. His teacher tells us that most days, he follows her around saying "up, up, up" asking to be held. He also fibs about needing a diaper change to trick her into picking him up. When she refuses (which, of course, she has to a lot of the time) he tantrums.

I don't know how to curb this behavior. He is an only child and gets a lot of one-on-one at home, and while I do pick him up when he asks sometimes, I don't indulge his every request. I know he's at the peak age for clinginess so I don't know if this is just something we need to ride out.

His teacher really seems to be trying her best, but I know it must be exhausting. She always tells us when he's having a bad day in a matter-of-fact way, but I don't know what, if anything, I should be doing. She's surprised at his level of determination to get what he wants (yeah, who are you telling!). When we go to pick him up, she's usually holding him or playing with him. He is doing everything he can to monopolize her attention.

For reference, we talk about daycare in a positive way. Before he started daycare, he regularly spent the day with family members, so he's used to being cared for by people other than my husband and myself. We read "Bye Bye Time", "Llama Llama Misses Mama", and "Mommy Always Come Back to You." He has a clone of his usual lovey that lives at daycare. He uses a sleep sack from home and I send his lunch so he eats familiar food. I try, at the expense of my sanity, to make every morning regimented and calm so he knows exactly what to expect.

I don't know what else to do, or if this is normal! I can't tell if his daycare teacher wants us to come up with solutions, but I don't know what else to do. I don't want to start refusing to pick him up altogether.