u/the-next-boss

I’m bi, and I’m really curious to hear about other people’s first experiences with someone of the same gender.

What was it like the first time you were with another guy/girl? Did it feel noticeably different from being with the opposite gender? Were you nervous, excited, surprised, awkward, or did it just feel completely natural?

I’m especially curious about MLM experiences since I’m a guy and I haven’t had that experience with another man yet. I’d love to hear from other bi guys about what their first time with a man felt like compared to being with women.

And if you’ve ever had a bi4bi experience/relationship, I’m especially interested in that too. Did being with another bisexual person make you feel more understood or comfortable? Was there anything about the dynamic that felt different?

Good experiences, bad experiences, awkward first times, unexpectedly amazing ones — I genuinely want to hear all of it.

Obviously, only share whatever you’re comfortable sharing :)

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 2 years, and I’m a bisexual man. She doesn’t know I’m bi because I’ve always been afraid of how she would react.

Today we were joking around, and I asked her, “If I were bisexual, would you still date me?” She immediately said no, that it was “disgusting,” that she’d never date a bisexual man, that bisexual people like everyone, and that she’d never be able to trust someone like that.

I love her, and we’ve built a lot together over these two years. Our relationship is actually much better now than it was a year ago. But hearing that made me realize that if she knew who I really am, there’s a real chance she wouldn’t accept me.

I’m not asking whether she’s allowed to have preferences. I know people are allowed to choose who they date.

What I’m struggling with is whether it’s worth staying in a relationship where I feel like I have to hide a part of myself.

Edit: A lot of people have asked whether she’s generally anti-LGBTQ+, and honestly, that’s part of why I was so shocked by her reaction. She’s never seemed to have a problem with LGBTQ+ people or creators. We watch LGBTQ+ YouTubers and streamers together and she’s never cared about me doing things that some people see as feminine. For example, I wear clear nail polish to keep my nails healthy, I usually buy her lip gloss, I even keep one in my car and use it myself sometimes, and she’s shared hers with me before.

That’s why her reaction surprised me so much. It almost feels like her issue is specifically with bisexual men, or maybe with misconceptions about bisexuality, rather than LGBTQ+ people as a whole. I honestly don’t know. Maybe she just doesn’t understand what being bisexual actually means. That’s something I’ll only know after we have an honest conversation.