Tryhard?
Hi guys i understand that this isn't really NCEA work related but i really need help because i don't think anyone understands what i mean when i tell them.
So i am currently a year 11 student and if i had to describe myself i would say i very friendly, talkative, confident, outspoken, so on so forth (you get the gist). Because of this, i enjoy a lot of extra-curriculars like envirogroups, debating, chess, etc... As suggested in the title i am a TRYHARD, and because i am quite confident i understand that this can come across as desperate but i need help with this mental dilemma. Over the course of the past three weeks I have been hit with recognition after recognition to a point where i just cringe and don't want to do it anymore. For example my NCEA status was announced online, in class, assembly, and it just happened that during this time my debates, enviro, and chess group got many successful results. Today for example as well, i was nominated for a certain leadership position and the entire school was notified and it just makes me shrivel up and die internally. Because of this, i have kind of been bombarded with all these 'congrats girl' or 'you deserve xyz', but in reality it makes me cringe. It comes across as someone only wanting the spotlight when in reality i do it for the love of the game. And I am so pent up at the moment, i don't know what to do because if i have felt similar 'resentment' towards certain things/people 'overachieving', i understand that there are SO many people feeling that towards me. I don't know what to do, please help if you can. I don't want to drop my extracurriculars and i don't go around flaunting all that i do but i still hate it.