Stuck in a toxic environment
I have been feeling depressed and having low mood over the last six years.
Right now, l've realised over the last one year that there is no one around me who talks to me in a positive way.
Everyone, my family, my friends, everyone that I spend my time with talks to me only in a negative way.
For example, they say "you cannot do this. You can't do that. Your skin is like this hair is like this. This is not within your capability. Everyone is doing well in their life. You are not. Why are you asking for love? don't expect all that from me."
I know that I have never harmed anyone or spoken to anyone in a hurtful way. I am generally a very calm, patient, harmless and kind person. But I lack confidence. I am vulnerable and I find strength in showing my emotions rather than having ego.
I even asked them to help me feel confident and positive, but they said it should come for me, and they will keep demotivating me until then.
I depend on these people for my living. I need their support. In the last year I have been unemployed, I have been financially, socially, emotionally, physically dependent on others due to health reasons.
Has anyone been in a position like this where you have to depend on other people to live, but for the sole reason that you depend on them, they treat you in a badly, emotionally and mentally?
Right now my mindset has come to a point where I'm stuck in this loop and my mind voice has also become negative. I've lost the spark in my soul. I miss myself.