r/MMFB

Seems I just can’t be happy at all anymore

So recently I feel like all of the people who used to be a friends with were never my friends, because they will always laugh at me and never laugh with me.

They say all press is good press, but I get so much attention from people I don't like, people I don't even know, people who generally make me feel uncomfortable, but there's nothing I can do about it or I lose the attention of those I actually want it from. My brain is so dopamine fried. I feel like I'm losing it sometimes.

So I'm probably venting maybe but I want advice and a solution from y'all As off I'm a student learning 3d animation and pursuing a bachelor's degree in pune yet I feel helpless due to insufficient bank balance u can say as I wanna land onto a job and if I try to find smthin in my industry it's freelance based which is not a problem I just don't have any equipment to give out an solid portfolio or work-out put as off and if I try to find part time in pune it's extremely difficult as well as there are geniunely no good part times available as I have skills of various softwares be it video editing or 3d modeling I've not reached animation part yet I do have a good knowledge of it I cannot figure it out what to do can't ask my parents for laptop as well because of tons of loan and my education fees . The only work I can probably provide or do is content writing and yet I see no one reaching out for such freelance or its a difficult competition perhaps so I do feel stuck I do know its common in my age of a older teens but gosh I wanna land onto something and go ahead

I would like your opinion on it and if an attractive solution

Upon such things .

Hello I’m 17M and I doubt anyone is going to see this but I’m just writing it out of pure desperation for even just one person to look at this lol. Basically I feel like shit. I have zero irl or social media friends, I cut off my sister whose 18 cause she stole from me and when I confronted her about it she tried to get me jumped, my brother 16, stole from me as well and I cut him off, my “real” dad dosent want me cause my mother told him I’m not his so he just favorites my sibilings and he was actually the one who was gonna jump me on my sisters behalf lol. My adoptive mother died last year which is still fucking with me from time to time and idk man only person I have rn is my adoptive father I js don’t know what to do anymore I have no one to talk or go out to I’m having a hard time finding schools cause I got held back 2 times I js feel so overwhelmed and constantly on edge. Idk atp I feel so pathetic coming to reddit to vent cause I’m so alone lmfao. Anyways ithanks for listening atp I’ll take anything I can get lol

Having trauma as a teen boy trying to be extrovert is kinda harsh because to be an extrovert you need to take jokes in you but some really deep and people don’t realize it and men do not get empathy and when expected people say so do we need to show sympathy to you
Well the world is hard
You must be harder
Keep moving keep going
But i genuinely have a doubt
If not while drinking
Where are men supposed to vent out their long suppressed emotions
Online is may be possible anonymous but it will not matter mentally as reassurance via text has zero effect on brain
I’ve gobbled enough emotions that I no longer even feel the emotion motivation and drive
Now I am failing my medicine final exams and I am not feeling anything and if I do feel it sometimes I suddenly feel tears in my eyes but never cry though
I wonder is it due to emotional safety of a friend or similar experience potrayed in depressing songs?

Hey everyone. Just for some context, I’m 20 years old, male, and I am a mechanic. Some days I spend a lot of time in the bathroom. All the guys think I’m just using it to hide and go on my phone, but I regularly experience severe emotional overload and I have been regularly going to the bathroom to cry/hyperventilate/ whatever. Sometimes it’s unbearable. I like to think I’m pretty resilient because I feel I’ve been through a lot, but this has been happening for about 2 weeks. I don’t even have a reason for it. I just experience spontaneous emotional breakdowns. I don’t know what’s going on with me but I can’t help it. I literally sit and just sob and I don’t know why. Sometimes even have panic attacks. I’m not sure what’s to do

I keep having the same thought lately: I don't want to do this anymore.
And I don't mean that I don't care about the people in my life. I mean I'm exhausted from constantly having to think about what everyone else needs, what needs to be done, who's upset, what needs to be handled, what needs to be cooked, cleaned, paid for, remembered, or fixed.
I don't want another responsibility. I don't want to wake up every morning already thinking about somebody else.
For once, I want someone to look at me and say, “You don't have to worry about anything. I've got you. Go lay down. I'll take care of it.”
I want to feel taken care of instead of always being the person taking care of everyone else
And lately I've even caught myself wishing I could just escape somewhere peaceful, somewhere it's just me for a while. No one needing anything from me, no responsibilities waiting for me, and nothing I have to worry about except myself.
I don't know if that's selfish. I don't know if I'm burned out, emotionally checked out, or just completely exhausted from feeling like nobody is thinking about what I need.
Has anyone else ever gotten to this point? Where you don't necessarily want your whole life to disappear—you just desperately want the weight of it to disappear for a while?

I don’t know what’s been happening to me lately, but my bad days are starting to outweigh the good ones. It takes so little for me to have my entire day ruined and to lose my good mood. Like today, I just slept badly, and suddenly thoughts started running through my head about how I regret every decision I’ve ever made, how I regret not jumping off that bridge back then and instead “giving up.”
I think about death very often—whether there’s even any point to my life, whether I should keep living or end it. I can’t enjoy the things I used to love anymore. I’m falling back into the same patterns as always… I don’t want to just survive, I want to live.
Even now, when I had an opportunity for a positive change in my life—a job—it’s not working out, and it looks like it won’t happen, just like everything else in my miserable life. I also started talking to a woman. We went on a date, and I deeply regret ever talking to her, regret that I ever messaged her. Why? I don’t even know myself.
Something hasn’t been right with me for quite a long time, and I don’t know what to do about it anymore… I can talk about it for hours, but in the end I’ll just be feeling sorry for myself.

How to deal with many problems getting in the way, like most of em are negative u just sit there and try to accept even though u accept em but they do hurt so much like geniuly when I say accept it I mean I just stay silent while inside of me there is a fire burning everything like im not happy.

Dear All. I’m looking for advice from people with life experience, who’ve been through rough periods. I’d ask my grandma but I don’t have one anymore. I’ve developed a severe depression and anxiety disorder (including 24/7 panic attacks) over the course of the last 4-5 months. I’ve been a fairly healthy person before. This is breaking me, and I can’t find a way out. It’s honestly over an insurance battle / argument with my former employer. In the end: about money, and me feeling guilt that I made mistakes (because I just didn’t know better, although I tried). Or in other words, an administrative mess. It might cost me anything from 1k - 50k. The realistic scenario is probably on the lower side, but I’m spending days and nights and days and nights honing about the problem, the worst case scenario, trying to rationalize the issue, instead I just keep finding arguments how this could be even worse and worse, every day.
My husband is supportive but he says “it’s enough” and that I’m wasting my life on something that’s not worth it.
I agree, but I don’t feel it. I feel like I’m the problem; and I can’t breathe until it’s solved.
I have a beautiful daughter, I love her infinitely. I’m starting to be cold and angry because I’m so exhausted from feeling this way.
Anyone went through something like this and can offer perspective? Thank you. Love.

Hey! I’m 21, pretty chill and somehow end up talking about everything from space, rockets and aviation to geopolitics, movies and completely random 2AM thoughts.

I genuinely don’t think we’ll run out of things to talk about 😌

Looking to meet some interesting people, have good conversations, maybe become each other’s favourite notification.

If you’re curious, a little chaotic and can keep a conversation alive, say hi :)

Hello guys im not doing so well and i need some recognition. i want to start by saying im diagnosed bipolar 2 disorder. Lately ive been completely devastated. Ive lost everything. My mom died when i was young im 18 now and my dad recently disappeared. im living with my grandma thats already slipping. her roof is caving in , backed up sewer, and a uncle that lives here and he smokes meth. my car just got repoed since i lost my job and been depressed. just got out of a 2 year relationship which crushed me even more. i just dont know what to do anymore. ive never felt like this im just ready to give up and another thing is i had to watch my granfather die here right i front of me hes been gone for a month now but while living here i was sleeping in the living room and literally watch him die due to cancer. i dont feel right

I have been dating one of my friend since almost a year now... He do avoid emotional conversations..and I m very emotional I need assurances time to time to feel okayishh.. Lately there were having so many fights.. I m not usually this person I don't go on thinking about someone all.. Prioritizing them above me.. But here I just feel like this is not me... I keep wall texting him.. He doesn't even reply.. He doesn't even texts good morning or good night.. Even though I asked him at least do that doesn't matter we talk through day or not I want that one morning text it just makes me feel that u thought of me.. To that he said he doesn't do anything like this.. He doesn't even feel like doing it.. He is only focused on earning money now... He will think about him and what makes him happy... I completely agree but I feel like there is no relation left... We don't talk much.. He doesn't reply to my texts.. If all these things bothers me I want to tell him he doesn't want to have that convo.. Later that day I asked him to meet.. He bought his cousins with him.. I didn't got the chance to talk to him... Then after going home I texted him... He didn't even look at those.. When I called him he said he is busy can't talk right now... So later he did replied to my texts.. He said u were dead today.. Not happy at all.. So I asked him then why didn't u asked me what happened.. Aren't u concern abt me.. I said literally begged him to talk to me being online for 5 mins and then go.. To that also he replied like after a half and hour and something.. And said I m who I m.. I don't do this.. I do what I like not what is necessary... I asked him how stating this statement is helping this conversation to which he said no this isn't but I m not good at this.. To which I said ok atleast just talk to me for 5 mins I m not feeling ok then u can go... He didn't replied to which again for 20-30 mins. And then I got furious and said I just hope one day u will understand me.. To which he replied that ohh may ur curses and wishes for me come true... I said I m not cursing u I just want u to understand me for once.. He said I just want to be so happy that i never want to understand this... And then I said which I know I shouldn't have that okyy maybe u will be happy once I m gone... He replied to that whyy.. Why r u doing this.. I said I don't have anything else to talk to u.. Sorry I ruined ur mood.. And blocked him on whatsApp only.. It's been 5 days..he didn't try to contact me nor I have heard from him since then.. I strongly believe he doesn't love me... He was just there... I don't know what to believe what to not anymore.. I m just feeling like ok I shouldn't have had said that last line and blocked him but it was just unbearable for me at that time.. But now I think that was true.. He doesn't care abt me at all..

I don't really post on Reddit but it's been a really rough few months and other than my amazing partner, I don't really have anyone that I can talk to and I don't want to stress him out even more right now. So I'm just throwing my thoughts out into the world.

I (30f) am a director at a museum in a major city, and despite the fact that I've worked there longer than any other staff member, I make over $25k less than the three other directors (all older white men). I barely make more than when I started as a supervisor four years ago, but my boss won't negotiate my salary with me because we're a small organization with a supposedly limited budget. It bothers me even on a good day because for the last few years, my fiancée and I haven't even been able to scrape by just paying for rent, bills, groceries, car problems, and medical bills for when I was hospitalized with sepsis last year. We've both been applying and interviewing for better paying jobs, but it's been rough.

But I think today broke me. My fiancée has been putting off going to the dentist for a few years because he was worried about how much it would cost. That turned into a dental emergency this morning that required a tooth extraction. Before they started the procedure, they explained that we would have to pay for whatever the insurance didn't cover that same day, and asked him what pain management methods we were willing and able to pay for.

My sweet, sweet partner who deserves the entire world and more asked the dentist if he could do it without anything to numb the pain so that it would cost less. I started crying in the office and told them that we would try to pay for whatever would make him the most comfortable, even though he kept insisting on trying to do it without anything. He ended up having to get a topical anesthesia that wore off near the end because that was the only option we had enough money to pay for. Even that means that we won't be able to make rent this month.

I am a director at one of the largest museums in our major city, and I couldn't even afford to give my partner the comfortable care that he deserves during a medical emergency. We both work so hard. We have both been at our very understaffed jobs longer than anyone else we work with. We don't do anything extravagant. We pay our bills and groceries and constant unexpected emergencies, and we go home and sleep because we are so exhausted and defeated with how things have been the last few years. The only good thing we have is each other. And I couldn't even afford to pay for him to get proper anesthesia so that he wasn't in pain while getting a tooth removed.

I've never felt so defeated. I just want things to get a little bit better so that we have room to breathe and be happy again.

I 20m have been feeling so hopeless, anxious, and lost recently. I’m not even sure that’s the right way to describe it, but I’m having trouble pin pointing what this is.

I have an objectively good life — I have loving parents, I’m lower middle class but Ik it could be so much worse, I’m physically healthy, and I’m a university student with a decent social life. But despite all this I feel like I’m wasting time every second of my life.

I should be spending more time with my family, I should be getting further in my career, I should be going out more. All the future versions of myself that I imagine, that are happy and successful, are so different from what I am now that I’m losing my faith in them.

There’s moments, whenever I’m talking to people, that I feel better, but then after I get so deeply uncomfortable with myself.

I feel so lost all the time that it makes me feel like something just has to give, or something has to happen to me to change, but I think I’m realizing that it has to come from me, yet I don’t know what I have to do. What can I do to stop feeling like this, and has anyone experienced anything similar?

😓

I’m a 15 year old bisexual trans man who lives in the Bronx. My parents don’t talk to me basically at all, my dad doesn’t live with me and only calls me on Christmas and on my birthday. My mom never talks to me, but recently she’s been having these strange one on one conversations with me. One time she brought up the fact that I have armpit hair and asked if I knew how to shave. Which I do know how to shave, I just don’t care enough about it to shave. This suddenly turned into a LONG conversation about body care that I don’t really wanna get that into. And another time she had another conversation with me, I don’t have a clear memory on what exactly it was about but a thing she said that stuck with me was “I have 4 kids and none of them talk to me, and I don’t ever complain. When I get back from work nobody ever asks ‘Mom how was your day at work?’ I used to dream about my children asking that.”

Ever since then I’m having this weird guilt, and I’m not sure how to quite feel about it since she always tends to guilt trip me every time she sprungs a conversation on me. As you can see my mom has always been that kind of person who follows societal norms and guilt trippy which is why i’m TERRIFIED to come out to her, i’m not sure how she feels about queer people and I don’t wanna risk it. This makes me feel that the reason I’m so anti-social is because of the way I was raised, but every time I say that in my head it makes me feel like I have a victim complex. Like is it really that serious or am I just being dramatic?

I find it hard to even say “thank you” or “you’re welcome” most of the time. I cried one time in middle school because I was told to read. I don’t even have any friends, I’ve never had any friends. The only friends I technically have are just online ones, I lie to them about basically everything about me. I’m DYING to meet them but I know I can’t since I lied about my age and even the fact that I have a partner, I don’t even have a partner. My life is so boring that I have to make up basically every factor about me just to seem cool. The group chat I’m in has my online bsf of nearly 5 years and his irl friends. I get so jealous of their little friend group it eats me up inside. It doesn’t help the fact that they are cool as shit too. One of them drums and snowboards, another person is in love with computer science, and another person is so fucking smart in calculus it’s insane. I feel so out of place in this group chat, I hate being so dumb and boring.

But I guess I kinda have a defense for that, I grew up in a poor family, which obviously limited my options in hobbies and other shit. I don’t have enough money for ANYTHING, I hate it so much, my life would be so much better if I had enough money for basically anything. Whenever I hear stories about people becoming a completely new person after starting testosterone, I get so incredibly jealous. I don’t know how to deal with all this. Why couldn’t I get a single thing I wanted in life? All I want is just smartness, attractiveness, being born a guy, having loving decent parents, friends, good social skills, and having money. I mean did I do something wrong in my past life? I hate being so hard on myself too, I wish I didn’t think like this but I can’t help it. I can’t help comparing myself to others and feeling so much jealousy. I need help so bad but I have no one to turn towards.

I don’t really know what’s wrong, I just know I feel heavy. Like I’ve been holding in too much for too long and I don’t know how to let it out.

I have been feeling depressed and having low mood over the last six years.
Right now, l've realised over the last one year that there is no one around me who talks to me in a positive way.
Everyone, my family, my friends, everyone that I spend my time with talks to me only in a negative way.
For example, they say "you cannot do this. You can't do that. Your skin is like this hair is like this. This is not within your capability. Everyone is doing well in their life. You are not. Why are you asking for love? don't expect all that from me."
I know that I have never harmed anyone or spoken to anyone in a hurtful way. I am generally a very calm, patient, harmless and kind person. But I lack confidence. I am vulnerable and I find strength in showing my emotions rather than having ego.
I even asked them to help me feel confident and positive, but they said it should come for me, and they will keep demotivating me until then.
I depend on these people for my living. I need their support. In the last year I have been unemployed, I have been financially, socially, emotionally, physically dependent on others due to health reasons.

Has anyone been in a position like this where you have to depend on other people to live, but for the sole reason that you depend on them, they treat you in a badly, emotionally and mentally?
Right now my mindset has come to a point where I'm stuck in this loop and my mind voice has also become negative. I've lost the spark in my soul. I miss myself.