u/KidTryingtobeBetter

So there’s a girl I want to propose
She’s my childhood friend for about 15years
And in our friend group there is also another guy
2 girls 2 boys
So the thing is that girl and I have grown really close upto the extent that we have close hugs and kisses on cheek
And I thought of proposing her in a few days
But today she told me that If my other friend gives her hug she’s going to take it
And suddenly all the love I feel towards her feels gone
Like I know its not her fault
But I can’t help the fact that the girl I imagine my future with, with whom I spent my childhood and took care of her in her lowest points
(She had PCOD , she failed her competitive exam and took a drop ) and I showed her so much love
I showed her because she valued it
We are on good terms
But she hugging another guy ( he was our friend from like 8 years ) does not make me happy
I don’t know what to tell her because I don’t want to have that conversation with her about her choice and her freedom
That shit might be true but I cannot fake my feelings
I don’t know what to do help me guys

I remember one time I masturbated and fell half asleep in that demonic pleasure
I remember seeing two very close persons in my life’s voices faces not clear
Doing it infront of me and when I looked at them they laughed and said we thought you were asleep and it was heavily traumatising as they were not supposed to do that infront of me and the next second I was losing consciousness and they were letting out demonic laughter
I had many experiences when I did the sin if flesh and I saw literal demons after passing out
This is a sincere request to everyone to stop sinning and pursue God because I really think the end it near and demons and satanic culture is rising rapidly in this world
We need to worship the true God and repent for our sins before its true late
These 🧃🧃🧃🧃 people will cause the final day to come even sooner and the whole world is becoming satanic
Please Jesus Christ save me from all these devils
I am super scared now because I can feel the negative energy around me and I am not bluffing
Human intuition is far more greater than your so called technology Law and facts
And I will overcome my evil desire os lust glutton sloth wrath and freed
These are the primary sins in my life which I identifed torturing me
And envy in some cases tooo
I am super scared and I am telling everyone before hand
Please repent and pursure God
Only he can save us from these child eaters and satan and his rapidly growing followers in this world
Amen🙏🙏🙏

Having trauma as a teen boy trying to be extrovert is kinda harsh because to be an extrovert you need to take jokes in you but some really deep and people don’t realize it and men do not get empathy and when expected people say so do we need to show sympathy to you
Well the world is hard
You must be harder
Keep moving keep going
But i genuinely have a doubt
If not while drinking
Where are men supposed to vent out their long suppressed emotions
Online is may be possible anonymous but it will not matter mentally as reassurance via text has zero effect on brain
I’ve gobbled enough emotions that I no longer even feel the emotion motivation and drive
Now I am failing my medicine final exams and I am not feeling anything and if I do feel it sometimes I suddenly feel tears in my eyes but never cry though
I wonder is it due to emotional safety of a friend or similar experience potrayed in depressing songs?

I do not have the courage about opening up my emotions to friends who are not close
Because strangers treat better than them
So I downloaded this app
Is it safe though

Wish me good luck and better character development