I’m late 20s and I genuinely thought I was just bad at dating apps for a long time.

I’m not even a bad looking guy irl, but every time i try using dating apps i get the feeling that I’m ugly or i’m shadowbanned. But I know that whenever I take photos of me I looked stiff as hell. Wit a weird smile, an awkward posture. Even when friends tried helping me take “good” pics they somehow made me look worse lol.

Most of my Tinder/Hinge photos were random selfies or group pics and I barely got
matches.

At some point I started paying way more attention to the actual presentation side of profiles. I tried retaking photos, changing prompts, testing different lighting/backgrounds, and even experimented with a few AI photo tools out of curiosity. A lot of them looked super fake honestly, so I stayed away from anything too polished or unrealistic looking.

What ended up helping most was using some photos a friend of mine who is a photographer and an AI photo generator that makes photos that actually looked like me instead of those super polished fake-looking ones. I mixed them with 2 normal real photos I already had (luckly), and weirdly that balance worked way better than my old profile ever did.

I think the biggest difference was that the photos finally captured how I actually look/vibe in person when I’m not pressured to take any photos instead of looking awkward or forced.

Thankfully i got, more matches and it also helped in getting easier conversations. It honestly changed my perspective because before that I was convinced dating apps were just impossible unless you were insanely attractive aka a chad.

I’m actually in a relationship now, but I wanted to post this because I see a lot of guys immediately blaming shadowbans or assuming apps are completely hopeless, or they need to be some sort of chads.

My advice is to just present yourself clearly, do not hide your face, never wear sunglasses or caps. Your profile should answer these questions girls ask unconsciously :
How does he look?
Does he hides something?
How interesting is dating him?

Answering these with your profile photos will increase your matches 100%.

You can really like someone at first, then suddenly one behavior completely changes how you see them. Could be attitude, ego, jealousy, disrespect, how they treat other people, or even small habits. What instantly makes someone unattractive to you after you start liking them?

Hi, I need honest opinions because I feel confused by this situation.

I knew this guy from years ago. We had each other on Instagram briefly back then, but when I got into a relationship my boyfriend removed him from my socials out of jealousy, so we lost contact.

Fast forward 3 years later, I had been single again for around 6 months and added him on Strava. He added me back there and on Facebook too. We started messaging and eventually went on a drinks date.

The first date went really well. We talked for hours, he was very gentleman-like, brought me home and kissed me at the end. After that he kept messaging me and wanted to see me again.

The second date was at his place watching a movie and having cocktails. We made out, but I told him I wasn’t ready for sex yet because I hadn’t dated anyone seriously after my breakup. He was respectful about it, drove me home, and kept talking to me every day after that.

Third date we had sex for the first time. I was nervous because I hadn’t had sex in about a year, but he was sweet and understanding. After that he still kept messaging me normally and even planned another date.

Fourth date honestly felt perfect to me. We stayed in, had sex again, cuddled, listened to music, talked a lot, he even sang to me lol. I finally stopped feeling shy around him and felt really comfortable. When he dropped me home, the next day he already mentioned wanting to see me again after the weekend because I was leaving town for a few days.

But after I came back, his energy completely changed.

He started replying very slowly (hours apart), saying he got sick, stopped mentioning plans, and became distant. I tried matching his energy instead of double texting. Then one day I sent him a picture while I was out and he replied flirtatiously, so I assumed he was still interested. I jokingly invited him over knowing he was working, and he left me on delivered.

That was 4 days ago and he still hasn’t answered.

The confusing part is that during these 4 days he has liked every single story I post and every activity I upload on Strava almost immediately.

So now I genuinely don’t understand what’s happening.

Is this soft ghosting? Loss of interest after intimacy? Someone keeping options open? Or does this sound like someone who genuinely might have something going on but still likes me?

For context, he’s 34 and I’m 28.

I've used OKcupid before in the past when I lived in a smaller area and I had success, I've recently moved to a much larger metropolitan area and I've barely seen ANYONE- Like there were a few people to swipe on and now it's just empty. And I'm just getting notes from women from the Philippines and Basil.

I was recently banned, but didn't find out until I tried to login. I was having a conversation with someone during the day and everything was fine. Then the conversation got a little suspicious and I told him that. When I got off of work, I went to check my messages and I had been logged out and it said I was banned. No email from OKcupid to tell me. Didn't know until I tried to login. So, I emailed them and am now waiting for a response. Today I started getting emails saying that I have messages from someone on the app. How is that possible if I was banned? Any ideas?

Hello Everyone. I was using OkCupid for dating, and I matched with a Filipino Girl (26) and I am 28, from Germany.

We had few video calls (almost two hours for each call) and we incredibly went along pretty well. It seems all natural and she invited me to go for a visit in her hometown. I am family oriented and I told her I am looking for a life-time partner, and she is on the same page.

I added her on Facebook and she has 1200 friends, and the profile has few years. On Instagram she has 200 friends but still it seems she is real and it is not a profile made for scamming (there are video with friends as well).

My question is: there should be something I should take into consideration, like red flags, or strange behavior, in case I really want to visit her? It's a big step and I would like to be sure there is no scam or whatsoever.

Do you know about any European going to Philippines for dating? Which are the cultural differences I should take into consideration, as a German person? I would like to bring her here, and she agrees that one day she would come in Europe, if everything goes well.

I do not consider her anything than a potential partner, of course, and it seems a bit strange she feels so ok with me and she also asked few sexual questions after the second call (like how I am on bed, which positions I like and so on).

Maybe it's just an inner fear, please help, thanks :)

I don't want to share any but the are sooo many profiles with pictures that look like the faces have been glued on over someone else's. The skin tone or lighting is off, the jaw line looks weird.. even the direction the face is pointing looks distorted and doesn't match the hair and rest of the body.

Even the general facial expressions are the same between photos, just minor tweaks. It's like they got a realistic 3d model of a face and can kinda match the orientation enough to fit on someone else's photo. Then blend/blur the hairline.

It's so creepy.

I wish I could share some of these, I can't be the only one seeing them.