I need to find a profile i superliked because i forgot tot ake downt the social media and ive been kicking myself since. I should have wrote it down or added them before sending but i didnt know it was not going to let me see it again
33M, married/ENM and dating separately. Looking primarily for feedback from women who date men in ENM arrangements. Does this bio make you interested in learning more about me?
Anything read as try-hard or off-putting? I’m especially interested in reactions to the ENM opener humor and if the profile gives you enough sense of what dating me would actually be like.
Married + ENM, dating separately. No secret wife subplot hiding in season three. 😅
I’m the kind of person who can somehow turn buying a 3D printer into an entire new personality, decide I want to get seriously strong again and immediately start plotting my way toward a 400+ lb squat, or lose an evening researching something because one innocent question led to seventeen more.
Dad, night owl, and recovering finance guy. I can talk markets and risk, but I would much rather find ridiculously good food, defend my chaotic Spotify rotation (heavy dubstep, Jelly Roll, and anime scores), or hear about your current obsession.
I'm not trying to force anything into a predetermined box. I am looking for easy conversation, obvious attraction, and someone who can bounce between dark humor, playful flirting, and complete nonsense without missing a beat.
I'm drawn to smart, weird, passionate people, especially people who are all three. Knowing yourself and being good at banter goes a long way.
Tell me the rabbit hole you could give a 20-minute TED Talk about with absolutely no preparation.
Bonus points if you can teach me something, roast me intelligently, or convince me to try something I’ve never done.
I spent the last several months trying to understand why online dating appears to produce so much frustration despite giving people access to vastly more potential partners than any previous matching system.
I eventually came to think the interesting explanation isn't primarily cultural or gender-specific. It's a market-design problem.
The starting point is thickness.
Matching markets generally benefit when more participants enter because the probability of finding a compatible counterparty rises. But beyond some point thickness produces congestion: too many potential transactions, inadequate mechanisms for evaluating them, and difficulty sending credible signals through the resulting noise.
Dating apps appear to combine several features that make this unusually severe:
1. The market is heavily asymmetric.
The large heterosexual platforms have substantially more men than women. That creates scarcity on one side and congestion on the other.
The same marketplace is therefore experienced as two almost opposite products.
2. Signaling is nearly costless.
A swipe or like carries almost no cost.
When expressing interest is cheap, broadly signaling interest can become individually rational. But aggregate cheap signaling destroys information content.
The receiving side then gets more approaches but less information about which approaches represent serious intent.
3. Congestion changes selection behavior.
Experimental research on online dating has found that continued exposure to large sets of potential partners makes participants progressively more rejecting.
In randomized experiments, acceptance probability fell roughly 27% from the first potential partner shown to the last.
The options themselves weren't getting worse.
Exposure to the option set changed the decision-maker.
This is the part I find most interesting: abundance can reduce successful selection rather than improve it.
4. The scarce side adapts too.
When matches become difficult to obtain, the rational response isn't necessarily to continue evaluating every match as a potential long-term partner.
A scarce match can be reclassified into a lower-commitment interaction.
So the congested side becomes more selective while the scarce side becomes less willing to treat the matches that clear as serious candidates.
Neither side needs to be behaving irrationally or maliciously.
Each side is responding rationally to its own incentives.
Yet the aggregate market clears worse.
5. The intermediary has a peculiar objective function.
Historically, intermediaries in courtship—friends, family, community, school, church, neighborhood—had reputational exposure to the outcome.
Modern platforms largely disintermediated those institutions.
But the replacement intermediary has an unusual economic characteristic:
Its revenue is earned while the search continues.
A successful terminal match removes two customers from the market.
That doesn't require anyone inside the company to deliberately prevent successful relationships. It simply means that engagement and successful clearing point in different directions as optimization targets.
6. We therefore measure almost everything except clearing.
Dating companies can measure registrations, active users, likes, matches, conversations, retention, payers and revenue per payer with enormous precision.
What remains remarkably difficult for an outsider to determine is the obvious denominator:
What percentage of people entering the system successfully leave it because they found the durable relationship they wanted?
Hinge is the especially interesting case because the brand promise is literally Designed to Be Deleted.
Yet the public operating metrics overwhelmingly measure people remaining, returning, engaging and paying.
There is some offline feedback—Hinge's "We Met" feature can ask whether a match produced a date and whether someone wants another date—but that is very different from longitudinally measuring relationship formation, duration, permanent successful exits and reactivation after dissolution.
That brought me to a broader hypothesis:
The public "gender war" around online dating may partly be the social symptom of a market-design failure.
Two populations experience radically different sides of the same mechanism.
Both possess accurate information about their own experience.
Neither sees the system producing the other side's experience.
So each concludes that the other population is the problem.
I ended up writing a much longer piece tracing this through matching-market economics, signaling theory, behavioral psychology, the history of courtship, the disappearance of social intermediaries, and eventually the financial statements of Match Group.
The last part became a public-equity short thesis because I realized the sociology generates financial predictions.
If the underlying marketplace is structurally impaired, eventually I would expect to see:
That makes the public company an interesting way of putting an otherwise difficult sociological hypothesis under an empirical clock.
The full essay and sources are here:
https://dljlevfin.substack.com/p/the-undisclosed-denominator
I'm especially interested in criticism of the behavioral mechanism rather than the stock call.
Where does the causal chain break?
Is congestion actually the right framework?
Does cheap signaling necessarily degrade matching efficiency here?
And most importantly: what metric would you use to distinguish a dating marketplace that generates enormous engagement from one that actually clears successfully?
I KNOW THIS IS TL, I JUST WANT TO GUVE YOU THE WHOLE CONTEXT BUT BECAUSE OF ALL YOUR OPINION I AM NOW AWAKE I BLOCKED HIM WE ARE DONE
I’m 27F, and I recently matched with a 35M on a dating app. We live in the same province, although he currently works abroad and only comes home about once a year to visit his family.
We started talking, and honestly, the first day was really wholesome. We spent the whole day getting to know each other, talking about our lives, relationships, values, etc. I could tell he was genuinely interested because he was attentive and concerned about me.
I was also impressed by his life situation. He’s 35, has a stable career, works abroad, seems financially stable, and is apparently at a point where he wants marriage/family. I was honestly surprised that he wasn’t married yet because, on paper, he seems like someone who is ready to settle down.
Eventually, we talked about past relationships, and he asked about my sexual experience. I didn’t find the question inappropriate because it came up naturally in the conversation. I asked him about his own experience, and his answer initially felt like a green flag.
He said he has a high sex drive, but he only has sex with someone he’s actually in a relationship with. He said all of his previous relationships were long-term and that he doesn’t do flings or play games. He also said he’s at an age where he wants to settle down and hopes to eventually have a family.
That actually caught my attention because I’m looking for something serious too.
I’ve been single for around 9 years. I’m genuinely happy with my life, so I’m not desperate to be in a relationship. But I’m 27 now, and I would like to eventually build a future with someone—have a healthy relationship first, enjoy being together, and eventually build a family.
I told him I wouldn’t jump into a relationship immediately. I want to see effort and actually get to know someone first.
He said he understood and told me that because he’s currently abroad, there’s only so much he can do. He said that when he comes home later this year, he’ll show me how genuine he is and that he wants to take me out, spend time with me, etc.
So I thought, okay, maybe he’s just the type who shows affection through actions once he’s physically home. I figured maybe he’d court me properly—dates, flowers, spending time together, that kind of thing.
But then things started moving really fast.
On the second day, we FaceTimed because we wanted to make sure we’re both real people. 😅 And during that call, I feel like I saw another side of him.
He started repeatedly telling me how hot and sexy he thinks I am and how much he wants to have sex with me once he comes home.
He asked if I could spend his entire vacation with him. He talked about us going on a trip together, having sex, and possibly having children.
I was honestly shocked.
I told him, “You’re moving way too fast.”
His response was basically that he can do both—he can court me while also diving into a relationship. He said he’s not like other guys who are only good at the beginning and that he wants me to feel every day how much he likes me.
And to be fair, when we’re actually talking about normal things, I really like our conversations. He’s intelligent, articulate, and we can talk about a lot of topics. That’s what makes this confusing.
But somehow, almost every good conversation eventually becomes sexual.
We talked about what would happen if I got pregnant. He said he wouldn’t neglect me and would make sure I was taken care of even after he returned abroad.
I told him I don’t want that kind of arrangement. I would prefer marriage before having children because I want the security of knowing we’re actually building a family together.
He said he understood my point, but then said that marriage is “just a piece of paper” and that, at his age, he actually hopes to have children first.
That made me take another step back.
Later, he said we could just enjoy the relationship and spend time together first, but sex is clearly a major part of what he expects because he openly says he has a high libido.
I told him, “What if I say no?”
He said he would never do anything without my consent and that he understands consent.
I appreciate that answer, but here’s where I’m confused.
Even when I say no to sexual things, he respects it in that moment—but later, he brings it up again. There’s a tome he j*rked off but not showing it while talking to me.
For example, during FaceTime, after we’ve had a really good conversation, he sometimes wants to end the night with a virtual kiss or asks me to be more sexy during our calls. He’s suggested what I should wear and said he doesn’t want nudes, but that showing a little skin is enough. He can handle he’s own thing.
He has also told me that he has a particular body part fetish. Since some of the clothes I normally wear are somewhat revealing, he really likes it.
At one point, he tried to encourage me to touch myself during our call. I said no. He backed off, but later tried to bring sexual things up again.
This is where I’m really confused.
If the sexual stuff wasn’t there, I would honestly say he’s a great catch.
He’s smart. He’s stable. He’s financially successful. He’s straightforward. He’s affectionate. He communicates well. He says he wants a serious relationship and a family. He doesn’t seem interested in casual relationships.
But I feel like we’re only on day TWO and we’re already talking about sex, pregnancy, children, vacations together, and spending his entire vacation together.
He also told me that if we end up in an LDR, I should get used to this because we would need to “spice up” the relationship.
Part of me thinks maybe this is just his personality. Maybe he’s genuinely a very sexual person and sees sex as a normal part of a relationship.
But another part of me feels like he’s moving so fast that I’m not even getting the opportunity to develop feelings naturally.
And I don’t want to assume he’s only after sex because he has repeatedly told me he wants a serious relationship and has never done casual flings.
At the same time, I don’t want to ignore my discomfort just because he’s a “good catch.”
So Reddit, what do you think?
Am I overthinking this because I’m not used to someone being this direct, or are there legitimate red flags here?
Would you continue getting to know him but set stronger boundaries, or would you stop now?
I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have experienced something similar—someone who genuinely wanted a relationship but was also very sexually forward from the beginning.
I’m going on a second date this week with this girl. She texted me today to confirm. I checked the app and see that her profile is no longer there. Was I unmatched? How to tell the difference between unmatched and deleted account? Should I ask her about it on our second date?
Looked at a couple of different locations but it seems very scammy everywhere so I’m wondering if there’s any country or region where you might still find decent people. I actually found my past situationship on OC.
Hey everyone! I recently published my passion project, Chatfri. It’s an anonymous, cross-platform chat application with instant, multi-language translation and location-based matching. I built the entire backend with .NET (using a secure, in-memory architecture for speed) and the mobile side with .NET MAUI.
I’d love to hear your thoughts or answer any questions about the .NET stack I used! Check it out: chatfri
Im not very active on the app, but every single time I go on the app, I see several profiles like these. Always different names and locations, always a seemingly random landscape picture with an animal picture pasted or faded in.
Always with these cryptic and weird captions in their bio and nothing else.
Does anyone have an idea what this is??
From this app Okcupid I started exchanging emails with a Brazilian woman and everything was going great but at one point her energy completely changed and I was left wondering what I did wrong and its really bothering me as the conversation showed so much promise.
So I am not looking for dating anybody here, I would be grateful if somebody preferably Brazilian would kindly analyze this past conversation on email and not here.
Maybe I could learn from it and not repeat the same mistake, if there was a mistake.
There’s been a few developments over recent years which may just bring an end to Match Group… PoF, Match.com, OkCupid, Tinder, and Hinge are all owned by Match Group.
2019 - Facebook Dating launches in the USA as a free alternative to paid dating apps. It has a separate profile from regular Facebook. (still unavailable in some countries as of 2026)
2023 - Duolicious launches. free and open source dating app.
2025 - Aaron Meier launches GoodDate as a free, 501(c)3 nonprofit dating service built on values, transparency and genuine connection.
2025-08-01 - Martin Braquet launches Compass - A free, open source, and fully searchable directory.
2026 - r/r4rsydneysfw launches. a safe-for-work dating subreddit for Sydney.
Hoping you all try these apps out and give them feedback and support!
If you’d like to join the Dating App Discussion discord - please see find the link in the community info here: r/OnlineDatingApps
I’m curious if Premium is actually worth paying for just to see your likes.
I’ve been getting a surprisingly high number of likes, but only a small number of actual conversations/matches. My profile is also verified, but sometimes the whole thing feels a little strange some of the profiles seem questionable, and there own intro almost looks like it was written by a bot 😂
I do not have the courage about opening up my emotions to friends who are not close
Because strangers treat better than them
So I downloaded this app
Is it safe though
Did seeing your likes actually lead to more matches?
Were most of the likes from people you were genuinely interested in?
Did Premium make a noticeable difference, or was it basically not worth it?
There's a girl in my college. A very close friend of mine was dating her for a while then stopped dating. Now, is it ok for me to ask her out? What are your thoughts on this in general?
Hi , I’m a woman just seeking FWBs . I used to be on Feeld but had a bad experience, so I’m looking for another app . Is most men on OkCupid looking for serious relationships? Or just wanna have fun? Is there a feature in the app to specify what one’s looking for? Thanks
Is anyone else having this issue or is it just me? I’m currently in an on again off again relationship but if he saw this notification it wouldn’t be fun! I haven’t added tinder app so why is someone not thinking that this isn’t the right title for us all to be getting notifications about? Lol