By this I mean you come across a profile that is on the borderline and don't know whether to swipe right or left, how do you decide, what is your deciding factor, I wish there was a feature where you could choose to return to ones your not sure about later
Do people accept dating another person with HSV or not at all? If you don't have this, when would be the best time for someone to disclose. There is no wrong answer, just want to know your thoughts.
Final edit after the final edit (MAJOR plot twist): OK... So after talking to the only match I was really bothered about losing contact with basically all day over WhatsApp, like multiple voice notes, just some hints of flirtation, seemingly sharing a lot... HER account gets banned.
Shortly after that she suggests moving to "sign*l". I've never had anyone suggest this to me before so was a bit weirded out and joked about it but she did not seem to get the joke... I couldn't put my finger on it... I thought there was some weird sudden vibe shift... once I expressed I was finding this weird, she makes the excuse that sometimes she gets ads for stuff she mentions on WhatsApp on other apps (does that happen, really?! WhatsApp is still E2E secure.... isn't it?? Doesn't happen to me...) and that she usually gives her Signal or Telegram (!!!) contact details... THEN suddenly makes an excuse and BLOCKS ME simultaneously on both WhatsApp and Signal.
So... what the fuck?! I think I actually almost got romance scammed... but... she left voice notes... she sounded real... maybe she was a bit too good to be true in some ways, like some manic pixie dreamgirl vibes... In hindsight, I can pinpoint certain conversational patterns - she ignores specific questions about tastes she's expressed or life specifics, mirrors my own expressed interests readily without much specificity about her own experience of it... maybe the backstory was too tailored as well...? Fuck man I'm just spinning out over this, like kicking myself if I somehow weirded her out with some crazy neuroticism but... that is fucking weird right? Or is it? But also what was the play? I have basically no money right now, things have not gone that well for me the past few years... was that what made me the target? A vulnerable person to exploit? It's fucking wild though, like holy fucking shit if she wasn't real or was talking out of some scam farm prepping me for handover to the real scammers I don't even know what to believe about anything anymore or who to trust. The swift exit as well! Like, my joke about "wait - are you a romance scammer?!" with a laughing emoji - at this point, genuinely still a joke, well, like 90% joke - was NOT well received - 2 messages later, BAM, BLOCKHAMMER.
Also I made a joke about crypto right at the beginning of the WhatsApp chat and it initially went completely over her head, like the joke obviously is... fuck I don't need to explain this shit but holy fuck this is a headfuck. What the fuck guys/gals I need some perspective on this, I thought I was too smart to be sucked in so deep to something like that but what the actual fuck.
....
Final edit 2 days later: OK so my account was unsuspended approximately 36 hours later. No details regarding the cause of the initial suspension were provided. This may be entirely unrelated, and just a weekend support delay thing, but as I'm based in the UK I had the thought that the fact that I was initially unable to use the same number I used to open an account I'd requested was deleted 5 years ago, they must have retained that number somehow which may have been a GDPR violation. I therefore opened a second support ticket from the email address of my old, supposed-to-be-deleted account, referencing the actual suspended account and laying out every detail step by step but beginning with my suspicion of a possible accidental GDPR violation. Again, this may be pure coincidence - but 12 hours later my account was unsuspended and although no cause was provided, I was also given a link to information regarding rights to redress provided by the EU Digital Services Act. Again - this may just be a standard policy or a stock response, I don't know. I'll leave my original post below because I still think it's important information, and it's still left me a somewhat sour taste about the whole situation... but maybe I'm just an impatient, whiny bitch.
...
Original post:
I've read the terms. I didn't violate any of them. I'm not some chump who is sending dick pics or insulting people, being hateful, disrespectful, honestly the fact I've been banned makes me feel kinda dirty by association... this sucks man, I was literally just at the point of arranging to meet someone I felt I connected with, I know I know, no point getting too emotionally invested before meeting but I just can't help it, I've never been into just spamming profiles, the "numbers game" and all that and it is pretty rare to actually have a genuinely 2 sided conversation, y'know... maybe that's just me... only reasons I can think are... I had an account years ago under a different email address but same phone number - I deactivated it and asked them to delete it, obviously somehow they didn't properly delete it because I had some trouble signing up with the same number but was able to do so via the website, after which I could sign in with the app.
Second issue... I use a VPN frequently, I'm just paranoid about internet security what can I say, usually just the same few European countries, nothing dodgy about that I thought... I've opened a support request, I read somewhere here not to open multiple support requests, so I haven't but I did reply to the confirmation email twice - basically each time I remembered another possible reason. I ASSUME that's OK and will be read by SOMEONE... but, ugh, this is just sad... I'm overthinking it but it feels like some kinda sign from the universe, "go fuck yourself", and a bad omen in an age where big tech is already fucking us with no consequences.
I talked about capitalism in the conversation I had with the person I woulda probably met if we'd exchanged numbers in time, lol, just lightheartedly of course, was that too politically controversial nowadays? Are there trigger word ban-bots looking for signs of Antifa cells?
I've been polite in the support messages of course, I haven't expressed any of my most hyperbolic frustrations, like I wanna believe in some sense or goodness in the world but this is just making me sad. It's been almost 24 hours with no response.
Edit - because there's clearly something fucked going on:
A bunch of other examples of similar claims, ordered by recency, most within last 2 months:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OkCupid/comments/1ucmpcw/bruh_i_got_banned_idk_why/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OkCupid/comments/1u1jxva/my_account_was_deleted_randomly/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OkCupid/comments/1tdiezn/i_was_recently_banned/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OkCupid/comments/1spji42/randomly_banned_today/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OkCupid/comments/1t0mkxf/okcupid_the_sad_ending/
On the other side of it, there's ALSO a bunch of recent threads of people complaining about people they're talking to randomly being banned - and being informed that these people "might have been fraudulent" or something - and complaining about there being so many bots, and often that everything actually seemed fine, getting down on themselves for being fooled. I didn't bother to collate those threads too but there's a bunch of recent ones.
WTF is going on?! OKC used to be my favorite online dating platform, ugh. This sucks.
Is this app just 90% bots or did I really get like 50 likes within half an hour of making an account?
Not saying i'm not an eligible bachelor and everything but seems unlikely!
Hi. New to this subreddit. I'm hoping to meet some likeminded folks here. I'm tired of the basic, polite conversation. Can we pick each other's brains on our place in the Universe, our society, economics, capitalism... 38/f/Florida. Just looking to vibe and potentially, eventually meet up. Point me in a direction.
(also if you're a gamer, that is a plus)
now its just trying to figure out if the person im talking to is an actual human or a script running out of a server farm. Matched with someone yesterday, great banter, and then boom: "do u trade crypto?". So exhausting
At this point I only really care about profiles that have hard verification tied to the real world. I know some other apps are starting to integrate that orb functionality to actually prove you're a breathing person and honestly okcupid needs to mandate something like that yesterday
Would much rather get rejected by a real flesh and blood person than flirt with a bot for 3 days tbh.
There’s a discord community for dating app development discussion. If you’re a software developer willing to help or just someone that wants the old okcupid back (before Match Group acquisition), drop a comment and I’ll try to get you added to the group.
They must just be writing "hi" to 20 people and waiting for someone to offer enough money back.
I am at my wits' end. I've used OKCupid on and off since 2009, and have never had an experience remotely like this. For the last several months, every time I've gotten an intro from someone and responded, within 3 responses they have either blocked or ghosted me; usually, it is after my initial response. Now, if I was being blatantly rude or offensive in my replies I'd understand this, but I tend, instead, to start off pretty slowly, just returning the hello and asking about something from their profile. I've asked others for input, and no one has seen anything remotely objectionable in the replies I've made, so I'm at a loss. I just want to connect with someone, and instead, no matter what I do, I get blocked or ghosted almost the moment I get a match.
When this began, I had indications my messages weren't all being relayed to people; one person I managed to connect with via email said they hadn't gotten any of the messages I'd sent on OKCupid, after giving them my email address. I've heard similar things from others about messages not going through, but since this keeps happening in the first one or two messages, I haven't had the opportunity to ask anyone else.
Looking for any tips, really, on how to fix this, or explanations as to why this might be happening. Yes, I'm a guy, so I get that I'm not going to get messages left and right, but I used to have no issue meeting folks on the app, and now it's just impossible.
Which year was the best year for online dating and online dating apps? Which app was the best during that year? and what led to the downfall since then?
this was recommended by a friend and idek what to put on here. trying my luck because i'm so done with dating apps and even tried speed dating on tiktok. i genuinely just wanna find someone that i'll spend the rest of my life with. only dated one person my whole life and i was engaged to him but it didn't work out. i don't have kids n i've never been married.
preference:
someone with no kids would be preferable
never been married
would be able to travel in the philippines
someone who only date to marry
my red flag: i do not see myself having kids in the future but i'm not completely saying no to it. i'll only consider it if i see a good man that will be a good father.
i'm 4'10 160 pounds (yes plus size) i've lost almost 50 pounds alr, i'm working to be the best version of myself physically. i have amazing face card tho 😁
what i'm looking for: mutual respect, effort, n consistency goes a long way for me.
also, someone who speaks good english and no accent is preferable.
I just got a "like" from somebody local, but even if I open the age range to +/- 10 years and increase the distance to 100 miles, my "stack is currently empty".
How?
So i was wondering if it is ok to gift him matching keychain on the second date or if i should wait.. we’ve been talking for a month and he looks very interested, still i need answers 😔😔
ps. he got me flowers on the first one
I know everyone says photos are everything. And yeah, they matter. But I've seen decent photos completely killed by prompts that say absolutely nothing.
"Looking for my partner in crime." "Love to travel." "Ask me anything." These tell me nothing about you as a person.
The guys who seem to actually get traction are the ones whose prompts feel like a real human wrote them. Not a LinkedIn bio.
My first ban was on the 7\10 war .. I tried to appeal got zero response...
I'm almost certain that I did nothing wrong to worrant a ban
OKC does actually work if you give it time and, yeah some things work and some do not. Have been on and off the site for years, met some good people, met some bad ones, and yeah many fakes. However a few months ago, I met an amazing woman, we talked for a while on the site and exchanged numbers and met about a month later in person. Had a great 1st date, we were both very nervous, we ended up talking for 4 hours, and she had taken an uber and allowed me to drive her home, we held hands in the car, the connection was almost instant. Fast forward 4 months and ever since that first date we talk all day every day about everything and anything, we still date, and keep clothes at each others houses, 5 months and going strong now, we have been committed since date 3, still talk to each other all day. The connection has been strong between us, we both have our flaws and strengths but cannot go without talking to each other, we both accept it, we are a team. And if needed we can be silent and just hug each other all day long, it is amazing! We have not said the L word yet, but thats ok, we both know it is coming lol
*edit* and btw, we didn't do the deed until date 4 or 5 and it was worth the wait, and the 1st time sucked because we were both nervous about it, but we got that out of the way and blow each others minds now. We are connected in every way, even if we just hold each other all night, best sleep we have ever had just holding each other.
I mean I get it, people change their minds because of characters. I read about that often but how often does lack of physical attraction happen?