3am rage is real and it's not just you
Posted this last spring with lots of discussion. It's archived now so comments are closed and a lot of you weren't here yet. It's still the thing I most want a new dad to hear at 3am, so I'm putting it back up.
Dad of 3 here.
Nobody warned me about 3am rage.
That weird surge of anger when you're holding a crying newborn and haven't slept. I remember standing there thinking something was wrong with me.
My first baby was also colicky so even his grandparents weren't sure how to handle him during his witching hours.
The single best advice I eventually got was simple and felt almost insulting in the moment:
Put the baby down somewhere safe. Walk away. Take a breath.
It sounds easy. It's not.
But it's the right move.
That stretch actually pushed me into therapy, which ended up being one of the best things I've done. I learned that the combo of sleep deprivation + pressure + feeling responsible but powerless is a brutal mix.
If you hit that wall, you're not broken or alone.
What I'd add this time: I never heard this from a doctor, a class, or another dad. I found out alone at 3am assuming I was the problem.
So if you've already been through it, tell a new dad. Ideally before 3am.
Did anyone else deal with this? What helped you regulate it?