u/thespiciestpineapple

my least favorite holiday's the fourth of july
i'm scared of the sun,
don't eat meat anymore,
some things just aren't meant for me

there's always things you want to say when people aren't in your life anymore. i'm making a knitting pattern that my ex's mom also made, technically to replace the finished object she gifted me that i returned after the breakup because anything tied to him made me sick at the time. i wish i could show her how wonderful the colors are and how perfect it looks. i wonder if my old best friend would have spotted something in my ex before i did. i wonder what she would think of my current situation. i wonder so many things. doesn't everyone wonder forever?

my baby likes me
even when he changes faces
fill in the blank
face down ass up
ass down face up
in the tesla in the minivan
in the hotel rooms
same house as his parents
all alone
foreign countries
for the last time or the first time
all the same

there's an echo on the edge of it
promise no one could keep,
it was never made
i keep your faith in me
a shining thing
the ease between us means it's easy
to do hard things
i take the ocean like a baby pill
swallow space and time

my baby likes me
even when he changes faces
fill in the blank
face down ass up
ass down face up
in the tesla in the minivan
in the hotel rooms
same house as his parents
all alone
foreign countries
for the last time or the first time
all the same

my baby likes me
even when he changes faces
fill in the blank
face down ass up
ass down face up
in the tesla in the minivan
in the hotel rooms
same house as his parents
all alone
foreign countries
for the last time or the first time
all the same

there's an echo on the edge of it
promise no one could keep,
it was never made
i keep your faith in me
a shining thing
the ease between us means it's easy
to do hard things
i take the ocean like a baby pill
swallow space and time

i've got nausea like a roth IRA
invest in my fears, wonder why i'm unhappy
i've got regrets like a down fly
everyone knows 'em but me
i make mistakes like a corn maze
a dozen wrong turns and still not closer
i've got a heart like a black hole
one day it will take my body with it
i've got dreams like the bermuda triangle
something to fear, something to circle round

i've got nausea like a roth IRA
invest in my fears, wonder why i'm unhappy
i've got regrets like a down fly
everyone knows 'em but me
i make mistakes like a corn maze
a dozen wrong turns and still not closer
i've got a heart like a black hole
one day it will take my body with it
i've got dreams like the bermuda triangle
something to fear, something to circle round

i've got nausea like a roth IRA
invest in my fears, wonder why i'm unhappy
i've got regrets like a down fly
everyone knows 'em but me
i make mistakes like a corn maze
a dozen wrong turns and still not closer
i've got a heart like a black hole
one day it will take my body with it
i've got dreams like the bermuda triangle
something to fear, something to circle round

temple to dentists
and the silicone and honeybees
i know it so well; i don't know it at all
heritage lands, beautiful gowns,
they unsettle my ribs and disturb my spirit
the mountains are worth the price
to blend in easy for a time

temple to dentists
and the silicone and honeybees
i know it so well; i don't know it at all
heritage lands, beautiful gowns,
they unsettle my ribs and disturb my spirit
the mountains are worth the price
to blend in easy for a time

the bones don't give me nothing anymore
corpses buried, funeral home
it's a sick and fucked up orbit
such a bad bet go all in
burn it all down if you don't win
my morbid curiosity is real; the best of me
i play with my wounds like candy
i pace around the pen
i get high on blood and lymph
in a warped grey mirror i vision the glyphs
of doomed-faith prophecy
still can't know the answer
tortured sight, cursed hands
the bones will give me something soon

the bones don't give me nothing anymore
corpses buried, funeral home
it's a sick and fucked up orbit
such a bad bet go all in
burn it all down if you don't win
my morbid curiosity is real; the best of me
i play with my wounds like candy
i pace around the pen
i get high on blood and lymph
in a warped grey mirror i vision the glyphs
of doomed-faith prophecy
still can't know the answer
tortured sight, cursed hands
the bones will give me something soon

the bones don't give me nothing anymore
corpses buried, funeral home
it's a sick and fucked up orbit
such a bad bet go all in
burn it all down if you don't win
my morbid curiosity is real; the best of me
i play with my wounds like candy
i pace around the pen
i get high on blood and lymph
in a warped grey mirror i vision the glyphs
of doomed-faith prophecy
still can't know the answer
tortured sight, cursed hands
the bones will give me something soon

i scratch the back of my neck
i remember when you lived there
i take secret inspiration from what i learn
when i sneak around
hansel and gretel trail
of my blood and my clothes and
incandescent strands of my hair
in your memory
i must have that dead wife glow,
much more charming to recall
than i was to know

i scratch the back of my neck
i remember when you lived there
i take secret inspiration from what i learn
when i sneak around
hansel and gretel trail
of my blood and my clothes and incandescent strands of my hair
in your memory
i must have that dead wife glow,
much more charming to recall
than i was to know

i'm lazy these days
i bribe myself like a child
a horse girl between the carrots,
i'm done with punishment
body mists and flights to beijing

i kill spiders in my spare time
reflect on whether or not i'm the bad guy
curse my tethers, storm my weathers

schrödinger's lovers, they are
taking baited bets, losing teeth,
split a bottle of wine,
new fear better than old worry
put it on all black; made mine

my cousin had a baby
i'm gonna quit my job

the toy train fell off the track,
they left it there on its side

no one knows what i'm planning—
neither do i

the time rolls out forever but it feels so small
it's like a century of misery
before i'll make it to the top
it's like everyone tells me
youth is wasted on the young
prove 'em right,
i would trade it in an instant
just to get the thing i want,
(but what does wanting mean?
something above apathy?)
could call it quarter life crisis,
but i don't want to live that long

my cousin had a baby
i'm gonna quit my job

the toy train fell off the track,
they left it there on its side

no one knows what i'm planning—
neither do i

the time rolls out forever but it feels so small
it's like a century of misery
before i'll make it to the top
it's like everyone tells me
youth is wasted on the young
prove 'em right,
i would trade it in an instant
just to get the thing i want,
(but what does wanting mean?
something above apathy?)
could call it quarter life crisis,
but i don't want to live that long